Hey guys. I am finally on the forum today whoop whoop!
Thanks @anon15901281 you are super awesome. I like that excitement!
Day 30.
It has been a pretty though and thought filled day as I had some serious conversations with my mom about me.
Okay yeah it sounds weird and all that as I ain’t gonna go into much detail about it, but this was a nostalgic and sad week.
I thought about what I was gonna write today as I finished the challenge a s I got excited last night to be inspired by @anon15901281 to write an article and hope not to dissapoint.
So without further do here is my thoughts on this journey.
So day 1 well it was quite awkward. As I just did the 30 push-ups without a second thought after the video I have seen on Youtube.
Well to stick to it I thought man this is just stupid and alot of guys could surely do more than me etc. Mind games where played. So on day 6 I just tried the bring Sally up challenge and succeed and found it was easy.
Reality sunk in on day 7 after my push-ups and the inversion of the challenge I was like damn man I know I could do more.
So it was pretty easy to commit weird enough and when every 7th day came it was a bit intimidating as I hunger to do more, but as I flatlined on 20 push-ups in the bring Sally up challenge well that was when reality truely sunk in and I just desperately wanted to retry and go again to do more.
Well, today I did it the 30 push-ups and flatlined again on 24 push-ups. I just said to myself I wanna do the remaining six on the song, but I will slow down and just finish overall for fun. As this was the overall objective of this. To have fun and experiment on this journey and how I progress.
So yeah I have made progress. The first week I did 10 reps of 3 sets with rest in between.
The 2nd week I pushed my limits a bit by trying to go atleast 15 reps 2 sets. I achieved this on the final parts of the week.
The 3rd week I made the decision on going till I can’t no more and continued on to the 4th and final week were I finally manage to pull of 30 straight reps. Only once but it is good enough for me!
So yeah let us get to the thoughts I mentioned. As some of you guys know I was pretty much manipulated by my nephew. It started out stupid and just a kiss, but we checked ■■■■ out together and yeahi finally concluded it this week. I said my say and goodbye. It is sad to go our separate ways, but it I think is best as I had a lot of distrust in him. I forgave him for the things he introduced in my life and told him I am a new me.
So yeah life was prerry hard in my teens. I was obsessed with having a muscular body and healthy lifestyle, but it never was ment as I just constantly started and stopped exercises.
So yeah when I joined the forum I also gave it a shot, but it passed within the same week. I retried again by trying to breath new life in the forum. Created a challenge and then I was the only participant therein and felt sorry for myself and also quit there.
I later realised I was a slave to my obsession by watching other guys making awesome progress on Youtube and probably watched a lot of flexing videos of guys. I have hoped by watching them I would desire a nice physic as well and start to train hard and I watched The biggest loser and really had a scare and even thought that it will motivate me and I would look awesome in a month or so. I had a lot of arrogance when it came to fitness as I am a pretty fit guy and well skinny and I had shots where my abs was starting to show, but as soon as I hit that level I quit as I was happy.
But yeah I gave up too quick and didn’t realise how weak I actually was and also how stupid I was for quiting. I also realised that I was a pretty weak individual as I just indured being bullied. Sure I fought back, but never let myself be taken serious and that kinda today has hurt alot as I realised I was naïve in highschool as I waited for a girl my entire high school career as she promised to be mine in senior year.
Well, I was pissed as I fell very hard for this girl. I became like jelly when she held me for the first time. It was unintentionally done as she showed me how to play guitar hero. Man, I rather focused on her rather than the game I couldn’t care less about the game.
I hanged out alot with her and her dad was awesome about us being so close, but in senior year things fell apart. Ever since then I stopped believing in myself. I have gotten casual girlfriends just to have a nice hook up( no sex), but I just felt dead.
I just stopped staying strong and didn’t really care much. Then I went to Germany. I slowly, but surely started waking up as the people I stayed with was like the parents and family I never had.
Early morning surpirses, random field trips. Cool jobs like driving a bulldozer, sure sounds stupid, but being a teen and having to drive a monster like that is all kinds of awesome. I felt loved and I felt like I want to stay there forever.
We had awesome trips going mountain biking in the mountains and forest. I started gyming doing yoga and it was amazing. Did beekeeping and it was almost like nothing was in my way no obsticals and also a man I met who passed away from cancer sadly 2 years ago he made effort so I could learn the guitar.
Man, I miss those days. Okay, now guys wonder why I mentioned it in the first place. Well I did it because I wanna explain the next point.
As I just did this challenge, my thoughts were also at the point like skip today it won’t matter anyhow to anyone. Right? I was so wrong, because if I had quited on any point in this journey I would’ve never said the following.
Why didn’t I start it earlier? I was almost like that eagle and I almost threw away alot of potential. Also through this 30 day push-ups challenge realised what was holding me back. Sure I should’ve figured it out as I succeed in rebooting, but no I just kept doubting it as I still wanted a scapegoat for my failures. It wasn’t my past, nor my circumstances. Sure, they played a role, but they only influenced myself in making bad decisions and it was part of the challenge, but the only thing is it was ME all the time. Now I have to start conquering me and my fears and unleash the potential.
As I today also saw a guy 17 years old showing his progress he asked some valuable questions and I am gonna change some of them. On a broader point to let you decide on your next move in this journey and I hope this inspires you through your journey as well.
You guys probably wonder what is next for me. Well this is :
Hope to see you guys join! And here are those thoughts.
Are you happier or more satisfied with yourself than you were yesterday?
What drives you what motivates you to do better than yesterday ?
What is holding you back from reaching your goals?
And that’s how I feel about this. Thanks for the read and support and good luck stay strong and awesome!