Brother @neo_150
I have started tracking my nofap journey from November 2019 when I decided to quit ■■■■ and masturbation, it was really hard for me and I am the guy who did it almost daily 2-3 times… I guess out of 30 days in a month, I would relapse at least 28-29 days… I was not able to abstain from ■■■■ even for couple of days…
So, you may say a guy who masturbated 40-70 times a month atleast!!..
When I first joined rewire my first streak was of 4 days and I put all my energy and effort into but then I fell into a series of downfall…
Every time I did, I promised myself, this will be the last time and I failed but I always believed I will be able to conquer it.
But everytime I fell, all hope seemed lost and shattered.
I have not been able to reach crazy streak of 60 days, or even 100 days and beyond (which I want to reach).
My new year resolution was to quit ■■■■ forever and you know what I relapsed 57 times in the month of January itself!!
But then I started to keep myself busy and I was able to achieve 30days of nofap in febuary-march (highest of this year) which was really unbelievable for me and I couldnt believ it because it seemed a really big deal at that time…
I have not been able to quit this addiction and even my current streak is 3 days(my goal is to reach 30 days this month).
But I have achieved a streak of 30days, 20 days and 15 days (counting big streaks only (big for me)) and lots of 2-10 day streak in between, this year out of 120 days… I am telling about my streak only because I think if a guy like me who fapped daily atleast twice can go 80days clean (in total) out of 120 days, so you can too easily, have faith in yourself.!
In this journey slowly I realized that quitting ■■■■ is a journey with a lots of ups and down… Some times you will feel great and feeling you can achieve anything and sometimes you will get angry and sick of what you have become, feeling helpless, trapped and thinking there is no way out!!
And I would also like to mention @Forerunner(through heroes 90 days challenege) who showed the path to overcome this for good, seeing his streak of 250+ days made me believe that it is attainable, it is possible and i will follow the path and I can achieve it too… I believe in you sir!
So enjoy this journey and slowly you will have all the will and self discipline to leave this for good, forever…
I pray that myself and all my brothers conqure this for good… Hope this helps
I don’t consider myself a master. With experience I’ve gained and tools I’ve learnt over the past few years, I have been able to recover from this addiction. I am not “fully” recovered but I have tools that help me bounce back off and get on a good streak again.
I’ve noticed this in your post:
Putting that in relation of how many days we have a year, you have been a frequent relapser. My guess is, you most likely are using the “wrong” methods. Perhaps it’s using willpower or trying to ignore the urges or whatever, it’s not working.
PMO is a symptom, not the problem. Your NoFap journey should be about finding that real problem and working on that. What is it in your case?
I have some tools written in my diary that are supposed to help you connect with yourself and find out what is truly the problem you have to work on:
Hi I am replying since I was tagged.
My streaks used to be small. It used to be 7 days.
With time I improved myself. Then my average streak used to be 15 days then 23 days then 30 days.
It’s about your mindset, willpower, strategies and dedication. With these you can improve your streak. I will DM you some stuffs. Read it if you like.
And please no need to be disheartened by number of relapses. You just need to stay committed and meanwhile come up with methods to avoid relapse, develop willpower to not give in to urge. We all have what it takes to get out of the addiction.
Thanks brother… i see your diary…it is full of tools… you have done a great job there. I will read … i will DM you bro if i will have some questions to discuss.
Bro…Find a purpose in your life.fix your mind there. because without stand for something you will fall for anything.use your urge energy in some constructive things and everything that you do ask yourself is it necessary.you must do yoga, pranayam for better functioning your mind.see mind is the matter,if you dont mind it doesn’t matter.stop looking answer outside,it is already inside you ,just with the help of self realization you will tackle those urges.Do meditation regularly daily to controll your mind.Remember that there is no substitution for hardwork.make a irreplaceable resolution to never fap anymore and use your will power to unleash your hidden potential.Last thing i would like to say that diet is most important.what you eat will definitely affect your body,mind and thoughts.Donot eat process food,wine,over spicy food, chilly, coffee and try vegetarian items if you aim for high streak.Always look after your thoughts, because it will become your actions, actions become your habits. Wish you all the best ,god will bless you my brother .
Thanks for tagging me brother, but I’m very far from a ‘grandmaster of semen retention.’ My counter is on day 4 right now . That said, I do have more experience and understanding than my counter currently displays. Since I was tagged, I’ll add to what my brothers have already said and share some of my experience and advice.
My highest streaks have been 250 days (June 2019 to February 2020), 58 days (November 2018 to January 2019) and 45 days (February 2020 to April 2020). So most of my success has occurred within the last two years. Before that, I would regularly get to 14 days or 21 days, quite few 30 day streaks over the years, but I would always fall back down around then. My previous highest was 41 days, and that was a record which took years to break.
I relate to what you said here so much. I have been trying to leave PMO behind since 2005, with varying degrees of seriousness and success. I did the stuff like setting New Year’s Resolutions for many years - I even went as far as setting new month resolutions, but I always failed. My relapse record used to look just like yours, and I can tell you from my experience that at that time, I was solely relying on willpower, and I wasn’t knowledgeable about how to succeed on this NoPMO journey. I just knew that I wanted to quit,
and i felt that nothing I was doing worked. Willpower is not a serious solution to this problem, but don’t blame yourself. At least you identified this as a problem in your life and wanted to remove it. That’s already above millions and millions of men. You may see your highest streak as something small, but crores of men on this planet have never gone a week with PMO/MO. I even know of a brother in this community who has been on the forums since 2012 and hasn’t reached 10 days yet. Two days ago he messaged me and said he’s hoping to finally break past the 10 day mark. Look on the brighter side.
Now, the truth is that if you’re able to achieve 200+ relapses a year, there are a lot more problems going on in your life besides PMO. Look beyond the pornography/masturbation addiction and see what else is making you unhappy in your life. Your health, your education, your career, your religion/spirituality, your finances, relationships with others and your self-image, personal goals and hobbies in life. You’ll find that there’s a great deal of work to be done in quite a few of those areas in order to make you a happier and more stable human being. Happy people don’t relapse.
From personal experience, I’ll tell you that when my relapse record looked like yours, my life was very toxic.
I had poor relationships with family and friends because even though I really wanted to leave PMO behind, I was a living contradiction, and I was far more interested in binging on PMO than establishing healthy relationships. My first and only girlfriend broke up with me partially because I didn’t pay any attention to her - I was doing PMO for one thing - and it took me years to heal from the break up.
I was failing my studies and eventually stopped education altogether - too busy watching TV shows, movies and animes online and playing MMORPGs instead of studying, along with the occasional deep PMO binge.
My diet consisted mainly of sugary cereal and peanut butter jelly sandwiches, not healthy at all, and besides walking everywhere because I was broke, I did zero exercise.
Finances, I was worse than broke, I was in debt and most of the time my bank account balance was negative.
Added to all of that, the biggest killers for me were my religious faith and my self-esteem. In Islam, PMO is most definitely a no-no, to say the least. According to the Qur’an, we shouldn’t even be looking at women with lustful intent unless they’re our wives, and I was going waaay beyond that. I went far down the line and escalated to some dark categories, but as a dear friend explained to me recently, all P is dark anyway. During Ramadan when we are supposed to be especially clean, I always relapsed and felt so much worse about myself. My self-esteem was shot to pieces since I kept doing things that completely went against my values and principles, I saw myself as a failure and a pervert who lacked self-control and I despised myself. I figured that anyone else could do a better job if they were in my position, I was just a hopeless case.
I tried many times over the years to succeed at NoPMO. I thought that once I get over this problem, then my life will be better. Then I will like who I am as a person. But looking back, the times that were more successful were when I focused on changing more than just the amount of days since the last relapse. On my most successful streak, yes, I did do a lot of recovery work. I read 7 books on PMO addiction, 100s of articles, posts and success stories on the forums, listened to 150+ podcast episodes from ■■■■ Free Radio and others, read my reasons for quitting every morning and reminded myself regularly how painful the last relapse was. But much more than that, I was seriously working on improving my life. I got out of debt, I exercised frequently, I ate healthier foods and drank more water, wasted less time on video games and TV shows and put more energy into meaningful activities and hobbies, connected more with family and friends, prayed and read Scripture more, and started to do some healing work towards repairing my damaged self-esteem. Having relapsed, I clearly still have work to do in these areas, but I’ve made enough changes that constant relapses aren’t an issue like they used to be.
Not forgetting for a second the wonderful support system I have in place with my accountability partner and friends on the forum and with family and friends offline as well. Right now, there’s no way I can continuing binging for weeks on end like I used to. I speak with my AP every week, many people message me after every relapse, I have a physical counter in my family home which shows how well I’m doing to my family members and so on. The shame of returning back to zero everyday with so many eyes on my streak would kill me. And it inspires me to do the work I need to do to improve, learn from my mistakes and move forward. I’m reminded constantly of my commitment to success on this journey and self-improvement.
So my advice to you is:
Look at the areas of life that are making you happy and work everyday towards improving them. Make small and consistent changes and gradually build on them. Practice gratitude, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. Accept yourself as a beautiful human being now, regardless of what day your counter is showing. Don’t postpone your happiness until a future date, don’t put loads of conditions on yourself which have to be met before you feel you’re a person you can love and appreciate. Find ways to be happy and grateful today, not 90 days or 1 year or 5 years from now. Happy people don’t relapse.
Learn more about NoPMO and find ways to remind yourself and be mindful of your commitment regularly. When we are aware of our strong commitment to be free, it’s much easier to remain that way. It can still be difficult at times, but you’re always stronger than the urges, and you’re in the best position to deal with them when you’re mindful. We fail when we start thinking PMO is more valuable than being free, and that mindset is difficult to fall into when we are aware of our strong desire to change and improve our lives.
And finally, never - and I really mean NEVER - fall into the trap of believing that you’re too addicted to succeed on this journey. Never believe that you’ve failed too much or watched videos that are too sick or been more frequent than other people. I have had a relapse record like yours before, and I have also been to 8 months of freedom. I have fallen into at least 10 fetishes that would completely repulse the average person, and you’d be surprised how many of us here would say the same thing. But a far better success story than myself is a fellow brother I spoke to on Sunday. He was addicted for FORTY THREE years to MO and PMO, started from magazines and went all the way to HD videos. At the height of his addiction, he was binging for 18 hours a day. On Sunday, he celebrated 550 days on hard mode. If he can quit after so many years of deep addiction, a darkness we can’t even imagine, we can all certainly do the same.
Thank you brother… this means a lot to me… i have tagged you becoz of this experience you have shared… even you are not in my companion list… but i have seen some of your post… and i knew that you will reply something definitely… which will help me and others guys too.
This is not due to some problem… in India most of guys are doing PMO becoz they like it and that reward(dopamine). I am also doing it becoz my mind is habitual of having this pleasure and reward without doing any work. But still brother…i will try to figure out the reason behind it… one thing i have observed that when i am sad or feel anxiety then this addiction is the first thing thay comes in my mind.
Dont worry brother, I’ve masturbated since 5 or 6. Seriously, I didn’t even know I was masturbating. Keep on fighting, and even if you fell, never give up!
It’s good that you will take the time to figure this out. I know you said that this is something we do because we like it - like most people say in India and around the world - but it’s clear from your diary that you don’t enjoy PMO, and it’s not making you happy or bringing real pleasure.
Here are some of the issues you’ve mentioned in your diary before:
Self-esteem - feelings of regret and depression after relapse and lacking self-control, negative thoughts, low confidence
Health concerns and thoughts about the harmful effects of masturbation
Relationship with girlfriend has been damaged, shame after what you introduced her too
For these areas that I identified before, it’s a helpful exercise to go through each one and give yourself a rating.
4 Very Happy - There is nothing I would change about this area of my life
3 Happy - Things are great but I would change a few things
2 Unhappy - Things are bad but there are some things I like
1 Very Unhappy - I wish I could change everything about this area of my life
I’m glad to see that in your recent plan you have decided to go for the full reboot. You were only hurting yourself by giving yourself permission to relapse after every 7 days.
I have failed many times when i started Nofap for infinite days… I feel like aimless…
One week aim ensure atleast 7days without fap… and also after that i will try to hold as much as i can.
Also If i relapse on 7th day…then it will be 4 relapse in a month… it will be a great success for me… right now my relapse is 20 times a month.
Idk this plan is right or wrong… just i dont want that feeling of regret after relapse anymore.
My nofap journey started from 30th December 2019. I didn’t know about nofap at that time. I decided to not fap because the next few months were very crucial for my academics ant masturbation and porn takes my energy. So I downloaded an app called “Stop M”. It was a good app. When I went to the chat section and read some comments of people then only I found out that masturbation isn’t healthy. So it gave me another reason to not fap. I stayed very busy for one month. So I made it to 39 days. But after one month I became lazy and fapped on 40th day due to some youtube video. I made to 39days in the frst attempt. Maybe I wasn’t that addicted or maybe I didn’t felt it difficult becasue I stayed busy. After that I got caught by chaser effect. Relapse after relapse. I didn’t watched porn though. I masturbate to youtube videos. I lost hope I thought that I won’t able to gat back at 39days streak. I wasn’t able stop even for 3 days. this continued for one month. After that I read somewhere that chaser effect lasts only for 4-5 days. So I decided to stop for atleast 4-5 days. And made it to 11 days. But then again masturbated. And again got caught by chaser effect. But then I thiught to try this app. Actually this app was installed from Feb2020 but I didn’t used this app because i found this very complicated. When I first signed in to the forum, I posted a message on the message board. I challenged everyone to have a competition with me. And within two days 37guys accepted my challenge. And i got 37 follow requests that was a huge boost of motivation for me. So after that I found amazing stuff here on the forum. And also success stories on the mesage board. Then on the my 14th day I registered on nofap.com . There was also many success stories, challenges going on. All these things were enough to motivate me. And that’s how I broke my previous streak. But on the 42nd day I saw P-Subs. I didn’t masturbated or Edged. But that day I thought that I can loose my streak due to this shit. So I setted a counter for P-Subs on another app. And also a counter for Nightfalls. Now the journey is easy. I still get random boners and urges. But now I can control them easily. I do exercises to loose weight and also I think that it reduces the urges. Because I use my sexual energy in exercise.
As you said that you have been fighting with addiction for last three years. So let me tell you that It doesn’t matter that how many years you been an addict, You still can Heal.
You can read some success stories that I posted on my topic ’ Nofap motivation for beginners by legends '. I will soon share some more stories of people who got out of this addiction after been an addict for several years.
(through heroes 90 days challenege) who showed the path to overcome this for good, seeing his streak of 250+ days made me believe that it is attainable, it is possible and i will follow the path and I can achieve it too… I believe in you sir!
. That said, I do have more experience and understanding than my counter currently displays. Since I was tagged, I’ll add to what my brothers have already said and share some of my experience and advice.