Fear-based recovery
This is an extract of my notes on fear-based recovery, that is specially relevant for me today.
Fear-based recovery means that some parts of you engage in the process of recovery mainly because you fear missing out on something or fear the consequences of PMO. If that’s the case for you, even if just to some degree, this might cause some negative effects:
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Your motivation will lose power over time: fear as a motivation is exhausting and we become hopeless, too tired to care.
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Your fear-based compliance will have trouble with facing consequences: being honest will be difficult, we are afraid to lose something if we are honest.
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Your fear-based compliance will make it difficult to endure suffering: when bad things happen and the situation changes, we adapt a victim kind of thinking.
You need something else to pull you along on this journey, because fear won’t give you enough motivation. You need to practice honesty, instead of being afraid of losing respect, love or affirmation. Remember that your performance in recovery is not what measures your worth. Don’t let relapses and fear of the consequences make you shift responsibility for your actions.
Your recovery needs to be based on mercy, gratitude and acceptance. Understand that you are doing recovery not to earn affirmation and love (from yourself included) but because you are already worthy of it. If you feel isolated, engange in a group which practices acceptance. Don’t try to get pride, affirmation and love by earning it. You are worthy of treating yourself with love and self care, because you matter. You are you and that’s okay.