Day 22
I can’t believe i made it that far. I am reaching for the stars this time and not planning to look back. It’s the only way to see how much potential I’ve got. 
. Time to take it to the max. Push beyond limits.
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Damn.
Sorry to say
But I relapsed.
It was my birthday yesterday and I finally got an apartment and well as you can see I was living in that car and didn’t relapse throughout 28 days. Which is an incredible feat even for me. Never passed farther than 23 days. I finally got a place and was so happy, didn’t know what to do for my birthday and nobody really to hangout with since it was a new location. I ended up relapsing alot yesterday. At this point i don’t know what to do anymore. Every time I have a home of some type, I just have the urges to relapse even more. Maybe it’s a test to see if I can withstand this time in a place I live and not PMO. Since I lived in my car, you can’t really relapse lol. But maybe this way it’s better to test out how strong I’ve become now.
Well I accept that challenge.
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Hey man! Belated Happy Birthday to you. May you have an Amazing year ahead. You got a place so try to settle in there & Stay Strong 
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Day 2
I didnt really pay much attention about what day i was currently at. But rather how i am changing. Day 2 is indeed a time to decide now or never. 
. Let’s make it all the way to the top. Never looking back. What’s been done is done. Now try to change your life so that you can start a new story. Come on.
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Day 2 today.
I relapsed 2 days ago. It’s harder to control yourself living in an apartment but i must control myself if I want to climb another successful mountain. I will, must and do all that I have to do what it takes to be the best version of myself.
Day 2 is the beginning of change. Let’s go.
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Day 0
I relapsed yesterday. I had a huge urge, luckily i didn’t watch ■■■■. I just felt horny alot. But I still relapsed. I must keep moving forward however and never look back at what I did but what I can do. I must overcome this addiction. No matter what. No excuses.
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Again I have relapsed. This addiction won’t stop.
But you know. It’s because all this time I thought I was walking spiritual but i wasn’t.
I must not think by flesh but by spirit.
Today I am day 1
Yesterday I woke up great and ate well foods and exercised also, I wanted to stay from internet most of the day to feel aware of myself. I am still anxious to go out and socialize in this new city I live in. So I realized I still have homework to do. Got some urges yesterday as well because of all the organic foods i ate yesterday but managed well to surpass.
Today I woke up well, not to bad. I want to focus on myself this week to improve myself mentally. It won’t be easy because your mind also tricks you but I must try. Let’s go.
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This shall be the last declaration of what I have been doing. I am no longer going to say what I’ve been wanting but I shall take action upon the acts I so desire. I am not going to be a coward and give up. No I shall climb once again to the throne and commit myself to the highest degree. Will there be rough times? Yes but in those times remember to read this and say do you really want the old lifestyle again or a new one? Do you wish to stay the same and not change and make things easy or change even though it’s harder?
All these months won’t be wasted because a dumb addiction. No but this time I commit to the name given to me, I walk without fear because that’s who i am. That is what represents me. I am hard to give up because I am stubborn.
I cannot do this alone, with my God I shall overcome. All demons trying to stop me from getting where i am going won’t succeed. I have the power to make it. I made it once haven’t I? So what’s different now? Come on stand up? I say.
Even if it’s just the last time give it your best.
Never surrender and stay up with that firey vision.
This month and the months to come I commit a new life.
Amen.
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day 0.
Woke up early.
Won’t take no for an answer.
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Day 1.
I am dead to my old self. Regardless of what society wants me to be. I won’t conform to what’s harmful. Today I plan to hit the gym or workout after my job. Listen to some motivational speeches and pray that everyday I may ensure for a better day. Amen.
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Day 3 today.
I am going to eat a good breakfast for a busy day.
I plan to read a bit as well and meditate somewhere in the day. Keep being proactive is the goal.
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Day 6
I feel sick today. Felt sick a few days back as well.
I am just in the stages of trying to recover ASAP.
But regardless this morning i decided to still be proactive and not lazy around. I will take it easy but still do some priorities. So far no urges, was feeling some urges yesterday and day 4 as well. But nothing serious that i can’t handle. I always am hopeful that my old lifestyle will burn to dust and the new to come. I wont do this alone this time because with God we can overcome. Amen.
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I don’t know why but this post help me a lot today, I’m on day 7 and it’s midnight here and i can’t sleep and usually what i do is PMO but i know i can’t, for my own good.
I want to say thank you man for making this post, just want to let you know that you just help someone by writing your struggles. Keep it up man let’s go!
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I was lying to myself. I know i was. When I relapsed yesterday I questioned what I did wrong and what I didn’t do to avoid relapsing:
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I didn’t make a routine
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I didn’t wake up early as a routine (might have woken up early but didn’t make it a routine.)
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Didn’t go outside (was inside my apartment the whole day mostly.) Goal is to go outside more.
Didn’t go to church or read anything. I was lying to myself I was, so that I feel better about my life.
(Your spiritual life is important, a spiritual journey for a spiritual walk.) Don’t be lazy.
Writing down struggles as well in a journal
Everyday keeping your mind guarded for urges and reflecting that the past was never the happiest moments. Remember why your doing this.
Pray everyday to God that to heal you and become stronger everyday that passes. Be greatful for another day. (unfortunately)
Most of all abandon the old lifestyle today. So i have homework to do. There isn’t an excuse why I can’t be all that I can be. I dont want to say it, i want to act upon the goal to bring a new self.
If I make these checkmarks then my new self will arrive.
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Day 1
Was an okay day. Didn’t go out much because was focusing on making a YouTube video which took alot of time, regardless I had no urges but next time I will set a timer when to stop and move on to a next task during the day. Today I exercised as well and ate well also. Focused on improving myself. The not going out part is still an issue so I need to change that pretty soon.
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Day 2
Woke up early at 7 a.m. about to buy some breakfast and exercise to. Going to try to cure my sickness today since I’ve been sick a few days back. All I am focused on is to overcome my addiction by the end of this year, won’t give up or give in. “I’m proud to say this is my last time to say something that i will actually do”.
. Whatever it takes.
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What a funny picture lol. Just thought I would post it haha. I will know how it feels in a few months to come. 
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Day 3
Woke up early. Planning to start my day right. Still a little sick but I am getting better by the remedy I did yesterday. Everyday being a little more spiritual. I meditated yesterday night on my goals and who I really am as well which helped me keep a vision for this journey.
Will I exercise today? Not really, I need to get better from sickness and need all the energy.
Will I read? Definitely yes. meditate? Yes. Everyday is the goal. Be proactive? Always. 
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Day 6
The days pass so do the number count timer. I dont feel like keeping track of days because it can hurt people in the end but rather live everyday as if it’s a routine and a new lifestyle.
Today I woke up early, did some delivery and listened to some investor pros. Haven’t had any urges other than the fact that sometimes I get erections from hot chicks but that’s normal. i can feel my power building up inside me even though I am sick so I guess that’s a change, also I feel my personality and self aware i am because there are times I can feel my anxiety become noticeable more and more. So i guess my feelings are starting to show more also.
Will meditate after my job.
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