Wednesday/Week 49
3/7 Wake up 5:00
3/7 Affirmations
3/7 Meditation
3/7 Exercise
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We are connected in this @Forodwaith @Gk-00 @Forerunner @Rebooter81
It was a ‘waiting-day’ for me too, Forodwaith,
your message is blessing to read 
Prayer was neither profound me.
A lot was said about the Lord lifting the veil -
~ and recently I’ve been waiting for it to be lifted.
[later re-edit as I write]
I want and need to be in that sacred space.
The priest gave a Homily after the gospel ‘Jesus felt sorry for them, as the crowd had followed him for 3 days, and he didn’t want to send them away hungry, as they might faint’ mt 15:29-37
He has compassion on us, he is with us and wishes to give us what we need.
-the Homily didn’t stir me, but asked the question; ‘What is that I’m wanting, and where is the need?’ it brought me make to reflecting;
‘What have I asked for? What am I needing?’
I still haven’t answered it yet. 
Ironically(?) my friend said, “money is good at the moment, I’ve spent money on myself, what do you need?”
I saw an old lady from church today, who I only know by sight, we awkwardly smiled at each other. A few moments later, I saw the sweet South American lady from church in the bank with a surprised glance
(‘oh its you’) - with a fumbled smile.
Only a few moments later I saw that old chap from Tai Chi - I don’t know if he’s religious or not, but (‘God is working through all people’) I thought to myself, just as my mate began to say “aww I’m so hungry, I haven’t eaten yet” as we were walking to get some shopping and Xmas tree… (‘I haven’t eaten yet’… “yes, you have”… ‘You’re right, I have - I had the body & blood of Christ’) Thanks be to God.
“aww I’m so hungry, like I’m gonna faint. You know that feeling?” my mate said again.
Yesterday, @Forerunner you had an inactive day - me too 
I know we could just say “it’s coincidence” or “we see what we want to see”
A friend of my mate said to me when I pointed to God about some of these experiences
“it’s quantum mate. Have you heard of it?”
“no, but it sounds fascinating”
When weird stuff happens, I can only thank the Lord for giving his presence in amusing, timely ways
Thank you Lord for today, and for my companions - please reveal yourself to them, if they so chose
Please don’t allow this message to come off as elitist or crazy-babble - but so we can guide each other back to you everyday and be in that healthy reciprocation.
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Wednesday
@Forodwaith @Forerunner @anon67854825
Yesterday was an inactive day, I have a cold so I did not want to stay outside too much. In the morning I had a few tasks to do, in the afternoon stayed at home and did some light work, although wasteful moments were quite common.
I fell three times yesterday.
Today I will leave for a couple of days, to participate in a spiritual retreat. I do this once every year, and it helps me a lot in finding new energy, making my plans for the future, and feeling the presence of the Lord in my life.
Feels like I’m stuck again in this PMO loop, I want to get back in the saddle and fight with you guys, hopefully this retreat will be an occasion to renew my life!
I will pray a lot in the following days and will not forget all of you
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Thursday
I repetitively called out your name during Mass this morning @Gk-00
Have a good break, and spiritually cleansing time away
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Definitely Quantum (?) Lol
I’ve had some inactivity but trying to keep busy; as a part timer I need more hours but I’ve stayed clean so thank God for that blessings Rbtr81
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Have a blessed retreat and get back on your feet ( that rhymes) time away might be the ticket for a fresh start
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I had a light but real and unfortunate relapse. So that I don’t binge and can bounce back in writing here. I’ve been so depressed recently it’s like nothing matters.
Thursday
It’s a struggle to be productive again. I wonder about Aoshigreen’s point; does reporting negatives create negatives? 
I wish I had the words to end the cycle of suffering and pain I see in my brothers. It’s hard enough trying to be productive in life and move towards meaningful goals without also being trapped in the bowels of addiction. Praying for you guys daily.
Morning Routine:
Wake Up Before 6 AM:
Three Important Tasks: 
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I feel depressed too but pmo will only drag you down further I believe we can do this…
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Gk-00, Forodwraith can I have your codes so can follow you.
My code is 4ulfjr
Forerunner you are doing so well you’re at the top of those I’m following to motivate me ; all those in the top section of my view are those I know or feel i know through chatting on this app like Aoshigreen who I’ve had long private chats with, feel like I know you mate even though I don’t really. I think the better we know those we are following on here the more meaningful it is I guess that should be obvious.
God Bless Rbtr81
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@Forodwaith you matter my friend.
The little things you’ve shared - when others dissappear in false-unworthiness to be here through falling - you’ve remained and persisted.
I wanted to be in companionship with you and @Gk-00 from the start of this secondary group.
I got what I hoped for. Your involved in my life now - one day we’ll all meet up
I don’t know if it’s a good/bad thing, selfish/empathetic, but like @Forerunner said I really want/wanted to end those miserable cycles.
But the dialogues I’ve had with you @Rebooter81 with our toing-&-froing, and difficult people in our lives - we’re just as difficult and complex. We can’t fix what we don’t understand, but we can *be-together to help understand, so we know what it is needed
[*with each other/with ourselves]
Today I told myself - I want the suffering,
I want to want, to delight in it.
Prayer/this journey/attentive
The Gospel was piercing.
“the wise man built his house upon the rocks, the foolish man built he had upon the sand”
I remember it as something I sang in school,
Much much later, to see it as “the wise man builds his foundations upon God - the unmoved mover”
I hadn’t heard this gospel in years - I don’t even recall reading hearing it since joining a church.
21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter"
24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock"
Today, it clearly said to me;
I’ve cried out “Lord, Lord” so many times.
I had to check through the rest of Matthew 7, to get context.
Even though they are teachings to follow.
Deep down, I knew he was asking me to take some action, instead of crying out.
Last night I dreamt of crossing train tracks,
One train was coming, so I had to return, but another train was coming the other way, and had to call out to be saved.
There’s a lot to learn from the dream.
On searching, ‘Mental-work’ stood out among ideas
Exercise = none
Media = 
but its late - 1:30am and using my phone 
better make this quick
Piano = none, and won’t be able tomorrow.
Lacked using foresight, as the room we’re using for Xmas is being used tomorrow - so I can’t clean up, decorate.
Making plans/adaptability are wise
Social = Fun Xmas preparation shopping with my mate and choir this evening.
Thanks be to God for the day and night
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Friday
After hardship will come ease.
Morning Routine:
Wake Up Before 6 AM:
Three Important Tasks:
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Friday
Please pray for me guys @Forerunner @Rebooter81 @Forodwaith @Gk-00
It’s really late now, and so much I want to say.
There’s 2 big things I’ve learnt today, well 3, including yesterday’s thoughts.
1 - Garden we create - planting weeds
2 - p-culture on society - moral spectrum
Liberal/Conservative, freedom/boundaries
~ God the innate
3 - We are saved, just keep trying 
I worked through some things, sadly after a shower I mo’d, due to overworking, lacking quiet - being impatient.
Slept, and new thoughts arose.
Once again grateful to God and always
phone = too much usage, I will do better
prayer =
journey = new solid reason emerged
exercise = nope
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4/7 AffirmationsSaturday
@Forerunner @Rebooter81
@Gk-00 @Forodwaith
Sincerely prayed for you guys, yesterday and today - I lite candles and thought of you, and the presence of God.
We had a special service, with many visitors and various clergy.
Each of you guys popped up in my mind in different verses, and tunes, without asking, during the practice.
It’s ironic, we sang the Lord’s Prayer in Latin - I usually like plainsong, simplicity and powerful words, but it was the worst 
I don’t understand Latin, so the words meant nothing, it was rushed, and not very sacred - just ritualistic, going through the motions. What an absolute bore!
But it could’ve just been me - if I’d spent more time learning it, or learning Italian/or Latin it could have been more profound - but I just wasn’t feeling it at the point. I knew I had some work soon after Mass, and was probably distracted by it.
But anyway, it was a good Mass, and I realise I’m sooooo lucky to have such good priests and community at my local cathedral.
Media = not bad
Exercise = none yet
Prayer/confession/journey = can never do enough, but can always over-do it.
~ I realise that sounds like contradiction, but it’s actually a paradox.
I’m realising after my fall yesterday, I don’t know how to stop and switch off - this idea of feeling guilty for not being busy or productive.
Even creating ideas like, “I should do this… Or more of that” is subconsciously creating that guilt - lols
Social = with the choir, Yep! Me and my tenor buddy from Ghana are jokers, and the whole choir is generally - joy and laughter are infectious. Lovely time with them.
Thank you for the day, my Rock
You Rock 
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You a tenor? I’m bass
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Saturday
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Joshua:1:9
Morning Routine:
Wake Up before 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:
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@BruceLee If you have a full day on Sunday it can be your best week so far!
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