Amen, Brother! Thank God for His love! Jesus loves me this I know is still the greatest miracle that I know!
3 Likes
November 14, 2024
Hey! I hope everyone’s doing alright tonight. I hope tonight’s post doesn’t drag anyone down. It may sound like a bummer, but honestly as I’m writing this, I actually feel pretty great! I’m not down in the dumps, I’m in a good mood, I’m just writing some stuff down while I have it on my mind. So, don’t let it get you down.
Something That’s Tripped Me Up
I don’t know about you, but something that really tripped me up, especially early on in my addiction, is that I would tell myself that people that are “really grown up” and “adult” can look at this kind of stuff. Even in the case of stuff that’s not technically nudity, just immodest, there’s a lot of people, some even Christians, that didn’t seem to have a problem with it. And for so long I felt like maybe I just wasn’t mature enough to handle it, and it made me wonder why I couldn’t be normal like everyone else.
You know, I think to a degree that “adult content” is a bit of a misnomer. Although there are subjects that are not suitable for a younger audience level due to graphic violence, subject matter, and such, some things, I believe, aren’t suitable for even adults to watch. They say that you’re a byproduct of the media that you consume, and I think that there’s merit to that statement. Pornography is not suitable, regardless of whether you are 18+ or not. Even though I’ve never been on an actual p*** site, I’ve watched movies that I knew had nudity in them with the intention of satisfying my sexual desires. I’m ashamed of those times, and I wish I could take back every minute of it. While I can’t do that, I can change what I consume now.
I’ve felt many times like I was a bit odd, and that I had to watch something, or pretend that I liked something in order for others to like me. And honestly, I sometimes struggle with that pressure even to this day. It’s like I’m constantly seeking approval from others. But slowly I’m trying to learn to voice my convictions, or even my likes and dislikes, without being disrespectful, or without being someone else’s doormat. I don’t have to do things the way everyone else does. Neither do I have to be an oddball. There are going to be some things that are a stumbling block to me that others have no problem with, and there are going to be some things that others can’t cope with that are not my personal struggles. But we can be respectful of one another and help each other along.
I mentioned about movies, and I think that’s been big for me. There are going to be some movies that others watch that I’m not going to be comfortable watching. That’s okay, that’s my personal problem. But the Christian Walk is not so much about what I can get by with and what I can’t get by with, but rather, it’s about doing what’s pleasing to God, doing the things that cultivate my Christian Walk, and what keeps my conscience clear before God. Paul, in Romans 14 has a lot of great stuff to say on this topic. I won’t paste the whole chapter here, but I’ll put up some of the last few verses in the chapter:
Romans 14:19-23
[19] Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
[20] For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence.
[21] It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
[22] Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
[23] And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
I hope some of what I’ve said makes sense. In the end, we’re aiming to do what’s pleasing to God, what’s best for our Christian Walk, and what keeps us in a good conscience before God (“Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:” 1 Timothy 1:5).
I will make one recommendation. If you have the same trouble that I’ve had with movies, you can try a service like VidAngel or Enjoy Movies Your Way, or even ClearPlay. These all* have Content Filtering and will skip past scenes with nudity or s** in them. And of course, you can also avoid the questionable movie altogether, and that’s fine, too. That’s just an option. But I thought I’d share the resources.
*Note: Not all titles featured with Enjoy Movies Your Way have “Content Filtering”. Only the titles with “Certified Filters” include this feature.
Anyways, thanks for reading, and I hope y’all have a great evening/day!
God Bless You In Your Fight!
2 Likes
One useful thing that is useful is IMDB parents guide. This is great because it has a run down of the content in any film so me and my brother and sisters dont get a nasty supprise. We’ve found that a lot of films over a 12 in the uk aren’t really that suitable.
2 Likes
One day down, Brother! That first day really means a lot when you’re getting back up! It’s like a little boost to get you back a going! I am praying for you Brother. God has got the whole world in his hands. Don’t give up hope and keep fighting and know that our Redeemer lives.
2 Likes
Thank you, Brother, for the encouragement! It really does help having at least one day free from this rotten addiction! I give glory to God for it!
2 Likes
November 24, 2024, Day 5
Hey, I hope everyone’s doing well tonight! I know it’s been a while since I’ve written in here. I guess I’ve gotten sidetracked. I don’t know how often I’ll get to write in here, but I’ll try to write on a little more of a regular basis.
So, if you’ve noticed up above, I’m on Day 5 (yeah, I’ve started writing my streak up there again, but I’m not consciously focusing on it, to be honest, I have to look on here to see what day I’m actually on 
). I relapsed a few days ago, and I’ve had to start again. I had a good 35 days streak, but that’s not my end goal, so I’m starting again. @FaithfulWalker recently relapsed as well, and he asked me…
So, we’re going over these questions again here. Again, I’ll try to answer one per night.
Question #1: Who Made Me Do This?
To this, again, I will have to confess that I made myself relapse. Now it’s not like I was sitting down twiddling my thumbs thinking to myself, “Gee, it sure is boring around here. What could I do tonight? Hey, I know, I think I’ll just throw my streak in the garbage can tonight!” But all the same, I have control over my body, and I have responsibility for my actions. “So then, every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” That’s what Paul said in Romans, and as he said it, I will give account to God for my actions.
This is something that I’m grasping the concept of more and more. I can’t really blame others for my actions. I’ll confess, I’ve done that a lot in my lifetime. But lately, especially, I’ve realized that whatever I do, that’s on me. As the old songwriter wrote of the words that The Reverend Mr. Black used to sing in the valley, “I’ve got to walk that lonesome valley, I’ve got to walk it by myself, oh, nobody else can walk it for me, I’ve got to walk it by myself.” Now that’s not to say that I don’t have companions that will support me, or to say that I should have a self-pity mindset. But no one can live your life for you. That is a gift that God gives to every man, the gift of choice. Others can influence you, either for good or evil, but you make the choice of how you respond. If you waste your life, that’s on you (or, me, in this case).
TL:DR : Big Dummy, me, made me relapse 
, I have to take responsibility for my actions, and for my life. I, alone, will answer for them.
God Bless You In Your Fight!
2 Likes
November 25, 2024 Day 6
My Information
Day 6 of 90
NoFap Streak: 6 days
Stage 1: 0 to 90 Days
Challenge: 6/10 days
Badge: Peasant
Hey, I hope everyone is doing well tonight. Tonight, I’m answering the second question in Believe_100’s list of questions:
Question #2: What Happened?
In thinking of this question, I’m reminded of Paul’s words in Galatians 5:7, “Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?” What happened to me? I was doing pretty good overall. So, if I was doing so good, then how come I relapsed?
This can be summarized in two failures:
- Failure of Endurance
- Failure of Persistence
I failed to endure in a moment of temptation, and I gave in to it. I also failed to continue with the practices that I found to be affective in my fight. In short, it goes back to something that I mentioned before: I didn’t take responsibility for myself. "Oh, my bad day made me do it! My urges made me do it! Poor little ol’ me, I’m just an innocent bystander! I’m a victim of circumstance! 
" But it’s my fault when I relapse, and it’s my fault when I don’t keep doing what works to manage my urges. I have to own up to it. My mistakes are not me, but they do reveal a character flaw that needs work in my life. The good news is that they can be changed. These are only the shadows of things that may be, and not what will be.
God Bless You In Your Fight!
3 Likes
Great work, good taking accountability for your actions and committing to improving. Keep fighting! 
3 Likes
December 01, 2024
My Information
Day 12 of 90
NoFap Streak: 12 days
Stage 1: 0 to 90 Days
Challenge: 12/15 days
Badge: Apprentice
Hey! I hope everyone is doing well this evening! I’m a little behind on journal entries. This weekend has been pretty busy, but it’s been good! I’m on the third question tonight from @FaithfulWalker, and it is…
Question #3: Where Will I Be In 50+ Years?
Now the last time I answered this question, I went kind of dark, I know. But I’d like to look at it again in an honest, but not overly critical, light.
Where will I be? Well, in 50 years, I’ll be 75 years old. I’d like to think that in that amount of time, I will have beaten this thing. But the fact is, that’s not gonna happen magically. I’m not gonna wake up one morning, and suddenly have no struggle at all. There’s work that goes into fighting this, and if I do not accomplish this while I’m still young, I’m going to end up at 75 years old, giving in to the same urges.
Thankfully, these shadows, much like Ebeneezer Scrooge’s shadows can be changed. I’m not a hopeless case, and it feels good to know that! If I correct these things now, I will be 75 years old, looking back on my life, and thanking God for rescuing me from my own self-destructive habits! What I’d like the most is to know that I was able to use my experience one day to help out my sons, and maybe spare them from some of the pain that I’ve went through in this.
God Bless You In Your Fight!
2 Likes
December 27, 2024
My Information
Day 12 of 90
NoFap Streak: 38 days
Stage 1: 0 to 90 Days
Challenge: 38/40 days
Badge: Army Commander
Hey, I hope everyone is doing well! Things are starting to slow down, now that the holidays are over, and I’ve finally found some time to write in here.
So, the good news is that I’ve had no relapse over the past month. That doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. While I’m not turning to masturbation as a self-medicating behavior, in some ways I’ve had to find something different to fill its place. Sometimes it’s just thinking through what it is that’s causing me to feel so anxious or overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s prayer. And sometimes it’s finding community in the right place. @FaithfulWalker has been a very valuable help to me in this fight! As I’ve said before, he’s been unwilling to see me fail, and just the fact of him believing in me, and encouraging me, is a help to me! Thank you, Brother!
So, I’m way behind on my questions that I was answering for Prayer_Warrior, so I guess it’s time to answer the next question:
How Can I Break This Habit?
Well, in my particular situation, I think that part of the key to overcoming is to “grow up”. Now you may be thinking, “Wait, what do you mean by that?” Well, be honest with me, does masturbating every time I feel lonely, or anxious, or overwhelmed, really sound that mature? Not even close! I think about what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” So how do I break this habit? By putting away childish things. And that is my desire. Every day, I want to come closer and closer to becoming the man (not the boy), that God wants me to be.
God Bless You In Your Fight!
3 Likes
@user1234567890 you are the same way with me Brother. I couldn’t have done it without your help. God has brought you and me together for a purpose and that purpose is to help each other get through this ridiculous habit that has plagued mankind for centuries. We are stronger together than when we were apart. God bless you Brother and don’t give up hope. Keep fighting and know that our Redeemer lives.
3 Likes
@user1234567890 keep going brother. You are making some incredible progress
2 Likes
December 31, 2024
My Information
Day 12 of 90
NoFap Streak: 42 days
Stage 1: 0 to 90 Days
Challenge: 42/45 days
Badge: Champion
Hey, I hope everyone is doing well this evening! As we are finishing up the last couple hours of 2024, I wish everyone a very Happy New Year! I had a list of goals that I wrote last year on New Years Eve that I kept in my wallet. This is the list I had:
My New Years Resolutions For 2024
Get A New Job (Didn’t happen, but I’m learning to be satisfied in the job I’m in.)
Pray More (That actually did happen! Along with reading my Bible more, thanks to the Bible Challenge from @FaithfulWalker )
Declutter My Life (Work in progress, but improvements were made)
Start Dating A Christian Girl (Uh, let’s not even go there 
)
Make Repairs On Our House (That also happened!)
I haven’t made my list for 2025, but when I write it tonight, I’ll post it on here, tomorrow! I am very thankful to be finishing out the old year with a good streak, and starting the new year out in purity! Thanks be to God!
@debellator Thank you for the encouragement! 
God Bless You In Your Fight!
2 Likes
January 4, 2025
My Information
Day 46 of 90
NoFap Streak: 46 days
Stage 1: 0 to 90 Days
Challenge: 46/50 days
Badge: Nobleman
Hey, I hope everyone is doing alright! I mentioned last time that I would be writing a list of goals for the new year. I noticed one difference in this year’s list, and last year’s list. I noticed that last year I struggled to come up with any real goals for the new year, whereas this year, I felt like they just kept coming to mind as I wrote them out this year. I felt like I had more that I actually wanted to accomplish, and that I actually had a purpose. Some of these goals may seem more abstract, and some of them are more concrete.
My Goals For 2025
- Reduce My Anxiety
- Reduce My Anger
- Stay Consistent in Decluttering My Life
- Develop Myself Into Someone More Suitable For Marriage
- Pray More
- Read the Bible More
- Put Forth More Effort Into Studying
- Put More Effort Into Contributing To Savings
- Read 10 Books by the End of the Year
- Work More on Repairing the House
- Work More on My Music
- Love My Family More
- Create More Memories
- Evangelize More
- Further My Education
These are just some things that I’d like to work on this year.
God Bless You In Your Fight!
2 Likes
Brother I used to set resolutions but not anymore. When I set resolutions and don’t meet the goal then I get down and out about it. But there is only one resolution that I plan to do, it will take me this year to complete this resolution. I know I can’t have my hopes up about it but I will try to the best of my ability to remain clean all this year. God bless you Brother.
1 Like
Looks like a good set of things to do!
2 Likes
February 2, 2025
Hey, I hope everyone is doing well tonight. It’s been close to a month, and I haven’t posted in here in a while. It’s been an even longer time since I did a longer post. If I’m being honest, I stopped doing longer posts on here, because I felt unfit to be giving advice, when I was struggling to apply the same advice to my life. I am also aware that this is supposed to be The Macro Files, not The Whine Cellar 
, and I don’t want it to just be a place to wallow in self-pity.
So what’s been going on in my life? Well, for starters, It’s been over 70 days since my last relapse (the exact number, I don’t know, I’ll get to the reason for that for a minute). Now, what’s the significance of that? Well, 70 days is the longest I have ever made it without masturbation. No peeking at content, no looking up, as @MrSam105 calls it, pseudo-p***, no fantasizing about macrophilia, no edging, no nothing.
I’m not saying that to sound like I’m some great guy. I’ll be honest, even without this junk in my life, there’s been days that I have been very ashamed of how I’ve handled my life. When I started NoFap, I honestly thought that my only “real problem” was with masturbation. What I’ve realized is that masturbation is just one of the symptoms. It’s like spraying Lysol on a dead rat, because the room smells bad. The smell is just a result of the decaying body of the rat. And similarly, my habit is merely a symptom of underlying issues in my life with sin. Unforgiveness, unbelief, anxiety, bitterness, selfishness, prayerlessness, these are just a few of the things that I’ve uncovered in my journey. Day by day, I battle these things. Every day that I wake up, I make a choice, whether I’m going to confront these problems, or just turn around and give up. For the child of God, I think there is one obvious answer, and that is to continue in the fight.
I do not consciously keep up with my days right now. Honestly, if you were to ask me right now what my exact total of days was, I couldn’t tell you. I have tried my best to not focus all day on telling myself, “Don’t screw it up today!” and just not even give it place in my mind.
Now that’s not easy. After all, masturbation has had a special place in my life. It’s had it’s own recliner in the living room of my life, and it feels nice and comfortable in its place. Even to this day, when I’m feeling anxious, I am tempted to give in. But by the help of Almighty God, every time I’ve had these thoughts, I’ve done my best to dismiss them as quick as they present themselves.
What are some things that I still struggle with? Well, a couple of things. One: I’m still struggling with trust. I know that it’s embarrassing to say, but even some of the ones that are closest to me, I have a hard time trusting. I’ve had some that have been dishonest with me, and I’ve had some that have hurt me unknowingly. But I am trying to take steps to forgive and to love, because I know that I have been forgiven and loved by Christ.
Two: I still find myself struggling with my self-consciousness. As a kid, I grew up in a very sheltered environment, and I’ve felt like I missed a lot of basic everyday life stuff that I should have been taught but wasn’t. Sometimes it makes me feel like I don’t measure up to everyone else. I’m also bad to defeat myself in my mind before I ever come up with the solution to overcoming these obstacles. I don’t feel very successful in my efforts, but I am trying to work on them.
Anyways, the fight continues!
God Bless You In Your Fight!
5 Likes
That’s the best thing to do Brother I may have numbers in my journal but I am making each day count. By God’s grace every day is a blessing that we fight.
“God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers”
3 Likes
NoFap has improved your ability to introspect.
2 Likes
February 4, 2025
Hey, I hope everyone is doing well this evening! Today has been a pretty good day today, nothing out of the ordinary. I did change my profile picture (Oh, the excitement is too much! Be still, my beating heart! 
). I know that’s kind of boring, but hey, I’ve been told that I’m easily entertained .
Okay, so as I said last time, I’m around seventy-something days into this thing. I’m still very much a novice right now. Some have made it over 200+ days, and then relapsed, and that’s a sobering thought to me. It’s kind of like the Bible says about him that thinketh he stands, take heed, lest he fall.
Now that’s the negative side of things. At the same time, I am very thankful to God for His grace and His love towards me! He has given me strength to make it this many days thus far! While I don’t want to overinflate my ego and fill my heart with pride, I also don’t want to spit on the gift that God has blessed me with!
I’m not sure of how or when I’ll do it, but I’ve been thinking about the Physical Media Challenge that I did last year, and I’m thinking about trying it again. I’m not sure if it’ll be a few weeks, or even in a month, but I’d like to do it again, but maybe tweak it a little bit. I think I was a bit overambitious with some of my goals, but that’s okay. That just shows me what my strengths and weaknesses are. But anyways, I’ll post something here once I’ve worked the details out.
God Bless You In Your Fight!
2 Likes