Post for 3rd October 2019:
I have been accomplishing 9 positive habits for the past few days. I have been reading Scripture, reading and listening to books for self-development, working on my business projects, listening to motivational speeches and continuing my strategy to remain free and clean from pornography and masturbation.
I still feel that I could do more. I’ve see others here pushing themselves and I want to do the same. I know I am still managing to procrastinate heavily each day - even with YouTube blocked on my devices 
. I know I am still slacking in other areas, I want to read MORE, work-out MORE, run MORE, accomplish MORE. I want to be better. Like hellojaani advised, it’s not all about accumulating days on your counter; it’s about improving the quality of your life. And I know I can put in much more effort into that. Yes, I’ve kept up with good habits, but they’ve become easier for me with practice. I need to do more. I want to be in a very good place for 2020, GOD willing. This challenge is a great way to keep me accountable. For that reason, I’m not adding any points to my scoreboard for the past week, because that EFFORT wasn’t there. I’ll add points when I deserve them.
“Since June 12, 2019, I’ve learned this one important thing about myself: I am capable of more than I even imagined. The reason why my streak hasn’t and won’t end today is because I want to feel like a good person and continue living up to my standards and goals. If I feel myself slipping into old patterns including everything I do before I gave into my urges, I shall report to my accountability partner and discuss how to get back on track.”
Day One. Day 113.
At the same time, @hellojaani, I would advise that it is still critical to break free of PMO at the same time in order to accomplish your goals and greatly improve your quality of life. Personally, I know that I cannot accomplish my goals or be the person I want to be while addicted. The shame, regret, pain and self-loathing would pull me down too much to be motivated to do anything worthwhile to improve my life. I didn’t see myself as worth the effort to change or upgrade my circumstances.
I read this in Power over Pornography: The Proven Solution to Overcoming Pornography Addiction by Brian Brandenburg:
What one thing in your life, if you changed it, would make the biggest difference?
For myself, I knew instantly that it was becoming free of the addiction. It was far too soul-destroying on my self-image. I was living so far below my values and principles that I hated my existence. The lack of personal integrity really made me resent myself.
With the correct strategy and plan in place, no, you are most certainly not counting days until your next relapse. It has nothing to do with the days on your counter and everything to do with what you did to reach that level in your streak. If someone reaches the 10th mile in a marathon, kudos, but they will almost certainly fail if they haven’t properly trained, hydrated and nourished their body. Likewise, someone who is on day 3 PMO-free and has finally discovered the strategy that will help them break free and is committed entirely to carrying out that strategy daily is more advanced than someone who is on day 58 but doesn’t quite know how they managed to get there or how to continue, but are just fighting urges for hours and hoping for the best.
I’m no longer afraid of losing my day count. I know what it takes to maintain this streak, and that gives me strength and confidence. GOD willing, I will continue indefinitely. I know that if I relapsed at this level, it was because I stopped following my strategy, I stopped carrying out my positive habits, I stopped coming on the forums and left my WhatsApp and Discord recovery groups. I didn’t reach out to my friends and seek help, I uninstalled my accountability software, I disregarded all of the consequences and barriers I put in place to prevent that from happening. And all for what? A few hours of edging to grotesque videos that repulse me to the core, and an extreme free-fall from a dopamine skyscraper that would splatter me across the sidewalk - bringing back that clinically-diagnosed severe depression and self-loathing and the loss of the will to live; no motivation to accomplish any of my passions and goals in life.
You can definitely succeed. You made it to day 50, that’s incredible! It took me 12 years of trying to quit this addiction to reach day 50. You certainly have what it takes to succeed. Don’t hold onto your weaknesses and past failures; you simply discovered methods that didn’t work for you. Within a few short weeks, you can regain your power over this addiction. You can be living a life that feels better than you’ve felt in years! You’ll experience a renewed ability to love and be loved, have better and deeper relationships with your loved ones, experience greater success in studies and work life and feel HAPPY! Life will improve in almost every area.
Absolutely, keep putting in the effort and improve the quality of your life in other areas, but you won’t enjoy it fully until PMO is gone also.
You can overcome this.
