Arey dur se phek do aap.
Mummy ka dialogue bolun toh "jitna tum chhipakali se darte ho ussey jyada wo tumse darta hai " 
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Wait raat ko soyi thi na aap .
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God bless you sister with love❤,peace,joy and happiness
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Papa bhi yhi khte hain 
Arre…
…Bhai soyi thi…plan to aisa hi lag rha tha vaise mujhe apna par fir ek chamatkaar hua or vo chhipkali ne apna raasta badal liya and khud hi chli gyi
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So , what’s up guys…
Well…abhi just a few min ago , got a call from my ex…
I know now you will ask me that why didn’t I block him and all ? Bro…well leave the block and all stuff…I had turned my sim off straight for 40 days…then I had to turn it on as I have described earlier because of the document and all stuff and coincidentally on that same day I gotta call from the company of the sim…and they told me to get it recharged else they will turn off my no. permanently…so I had to recharge it…anyway fast forward to today…as it is raining the wifi stopped working so I turned my sim on just to use the internet and guess what…yeah I gotta call from him ( but how , you have blocked right ? ) Yep…he calls me from other numbers like sometimes they are international and sometimes they are spam…i at first disconnected all the calls as it was showing spam then I picked up one as it was not showing spam and showed something like from the company ( the company of my sim )…and yeah he started like begging that forget everything, let’s start together again , I ( he ) even will touch your feet…just forgive me and stuff like that . I just told him no…damn he begged a lot and guess what it just irritated me and nothing…well I just denied straight and said a few things ( don’t worry gaali nhi di )…kind of taunt kh skte hain ( flow flow me bol diya , though I am now thinking ki I should not have said all those things as some of them were mean honestly like very mean 
, Idk ) and after listening he started kind of questioning about getting back I obviously denied all of them , at last he said - okay rho akele ( stay alone ) in a very taunting tone then cut the call…well it’s not that I loved the begging and all . I honestly hate all these things as it just disturbs my mental peace sometimes…
Honestly ye kadar jaane k baad hi q hoti hai ?? Jab rkhna nhi aata to bhyi baad me q aate hain kuch log ?? Khair kya pata chhodo…
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Vo mesg bda ho gya tha na isliye alag post …
just a P.S - Turning my sim off again at least till neet…hmesha k liye to nhi kar skti as I have ‘this’ no. in some of my documents and all…
Now some mann ki baat ( ha ye abhi reh hi gyi ) - After his call I at first thought that to take a break ( ghost honestly ) from RC and like everything but then I asked to myself , Why ?? Answer - because of all the shit happened
I again asked - why the hell this shit even matters and ye RC and all se kya ho jayega Swati ?? Koi shok sabha h kya ki jaana h hi ?? And ye konsi kitab me likha h bhyi ki breakup hua h , ex ka call aaya h to stressed rho , vo chije mat kro jo aapko achi lgti hain , logon se baat mat kro , bahar mat niklo .
And yeah I got my answer and I just said to myself - Chal ab chup chaap diary likh or ye faltu me devdaas na ban .
Well just going for sleep now…( Dimag thoda sa distract hote hue…)
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One day , Come to Kerala. You will never miss a day by atleast watching 10 insects here. Every house is a wildlife sanctuary for insects and lizards . These insects have became a part of my life .
I generally consider lizards and spiders as my friend to some extent. Tbh , I am bit scared of flying cockroaches. Me and my friends ( Lizards and spiders ) are in a mutual agreement by allowing them to live in my house with the condition that it will eliminate cockroach here . Sounds weird but it works. Very less cockroaches here
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Taking a Break…
Just feeling low…
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Hey, I hope you overcome whatever you’re going through.
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Thanks for your concern bro…yeah it’s still going on though…
Well doing by best 
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You may share it with us.
Bola tha na yaad dila dunga .
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Brother it literally means a lot to me…thank you 
Abhi thoda waqt hai 
, shi waqt aane par jrur share krungi…
Arre bhai , satya khu to mujhe svyam yaad nhi hai well itna pata kuch self growth and all se related tha…wait yaad kar lu mai
Edit : Ab Tak yaad to nhi aayi h exactly kya thi…khair baad me dekhte hain…itni saari chije hain honestly share karne ko pata nhi chalta ki kab kya thi…
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March 26 , 12:10 AM
So what’s up guys , hope you all are doing well 
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Well it’s been a while I haven’t posted anything here , like about my day and all stuff…so well I was a bit stressed ( more than a bit though ) about some “things” , sharing here…( Q ki bhut hua na yar ye andar rakhna and then letting that thing consumes you…feelings or ranting whatever you say , it is as it as unfiltered I can say )
Well as I described I gotta call from him and got disturbed for a bit , though I didn’t pay much attention to what he said and all but there’s this thing which just hit me hard…after the call I turned off my sim but since I said very mean things like verryyy mean things in anger to him that day on call I felt very guilty ( not for him but for myself ki yar Swati tu kabse itna bura bolne lag gyi )…and yeah here comes my ego of being “nice” and yeah I texted him sorry and in reply he said something which like triggered me 
and I ended up calling him though I was able to control my anger and didn’t say anything mean or not even anything related to relationship , I just explained him what he misunderstood in a polite way ( andar anger liye though ) , he again asked me why I am not coming back , what’s the reason ? I just wanted to rant like hell but yeah I controlled myself as I didn’t want any kind of drama and just told him in short that I was not happy and my needs weren’t getting met , he again tried to convince me I just then told him that listen I was literally depressed a few days ago and I don’t want to get into that state again so yeah leave me upkaar hoga bdaa and
he then said - " Oo…So I am responsible for your depression and all ?!"
I just said that IDK , after listening to your marriage and all stuff I just got depressed like hell and don’t want the same shit happen to me again and yeah here comes the amazing thing which he told me , I mean great 
He said - That’s your fault that you took it that way and got sad , I atleast have told you
I said - Oo so should I reward you now for your great honesty ?
He said - No but there are some boys who don’t even tell you so , it was my duty to do so , I at least did that and you should have taken that another way and shouldn’t react like that…
Bhyi waaahh !!! Damn manipulation at its heights , It just hit me like a truck Mann !!!
I mean it doesn’t matter what I felt ( not even felt I was literally depressed, and marriage and all is not the small thing ) what matters is “i shouldn’t react like that”…that “it was my fault that I went into depression, got severe anxiety and all”.
Hey Shiv ji !!! And inspite of that he had courage to again ask me about coming back into the relationship…!!!
Bas bura lag rha tha is baat ka ki I didn’t ( or may be never ) matter in that relationship…my feelings , my needs , what I wanted , nothing…i was just a medium or an object jise use kar liya gya for what that bloody sexting , or money !!! Or what !!! And fir ego bhi hurt ho jata h kuch keh do to bhdiyaa h bhyi 
what only matters is he doesn’t get blame ye bhi bhdiya h…
Honestly i am also a stupid like hell jise ye samajh nhi aata…truth is samajh to sab aa gya bas accept nhi ho rha…Hmmmm Mann !!! Bas us din khoon ka ghut pikar reh gyi…
Khair I know I am responsible for all this shit…par thik h not anymore…
I literally just want to scream and feeling like saying this
Bhaad me jaye sab !!! Literally !!! Khud ko bas ab bnana h next level bhut hua…enough is enough !!!
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Ab shaadi nahi ho rhi kya uski?
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He is literally stupid . You should understand such type of people . They are manipulative, believe that they are true and super honest. Whereas in reality they are manipulative and controlling. Anyways become strong and great. 
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Is he married? How old is he? Wtf
Kya hi pata 
…jab mene pucha tha to he told ki abhi 1-2 saal to nhi ho rhi and started manipulating ki listen mai nhi krunga shaadi aisa kuch nhi h bhut pyar karta hoon and stuff like that…fir vhi mene ant me firmly pucha ki mai kaise ruk jau already 1.5 year tune ache se treat nhi kiya , kaise yakin kru mai , paper par likh kar de skta h kya ki tu mera hi rhega shaadi nhi krega and all obviously kya hi khega …he said a No…
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Nope he isn’t…age i can’t tell…aise hi…just feeling conscious… kshma kre
Shukriya…aa gyi h akal bas yakin honestly nhi ho rha ki Aisa bhi ho sakta h kya…i honestly thought kuch to farak pda hoga after break up par na…nothing vhi old patterns , vhi manipulation, sab kuch vhi…mai hi pagal thi Jo itna invest kar baithi…khair ab mai ranting band karti hu…
Kashma kre…
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