Sorry brothers …game over:face_with_head_bandage:
I relapsed…as I mentioned I anyhow closed the tab but still I was thinking about it all the time…most of the times…I picked the tablet up for wrong purposes but did something else and put that down…
But in the evening my parents went out…I was alone…I planned how I will relapse and the plan was successful…
Day 0.
I tried playing a game…kick the buddy I thought it was interesting but it was boring…so I choose wrong track…
I had download many videos…but relapsed with one and deleted the rest…
Game over again at day 10 in flatline…
2 months before I was stuck at the same 8-9-10 days phase. I would always relapse on day 8-9-10.
These are the things that helped me get out of this relapse cycle( all these are suggested to me by companions)
Never focus on days. You are recovering every single day of nofap. Your brain doesn’t care about days
Read / watch bhagwat geeta on YouTube.
Cold shower to calm the urges
Not to be overconfident(my last relapse was due to this)
After applying all those things I got to 17 days then 18 and then 25 days streak.
The above words are from a scientist …
If you read the first few words … he’s saying that his first wetdream happened in class 11…(he was unaware of masturbation)…and after wet dream he was very worried (when frequent night falls started happening) that maybe his mind go weak…he might fell tired all time…he started to look for cure of night falls to conserve semen in the body…
And we guys are willingly masturbating and loosing semen…
And that’s the only difference in thinking that makes us a scientist or a coomer…
Did my walking, exercise, prayer, cold shower and all…
I did not sleep in afternoon.
Although I played redball 5 most of time.
And today I almost complete the book …( Jeevan Lakshya…)…a book which tells the ultimate goal of human life …how to achieve goals and importance of goals…
I learnt that…
Most people consider that just living … eating… sleeping… marriage… children… marriage of children… being happy and sad …die…this is the aim and goal of human life:face_with_head_bandage:
Noo
A goal is something special…for which you have to apply some extra effort…that makes you unique…it’s makes you different from the general trend… something for which you take risk.
For a successful life one must have a goal. Human life is a gift and should be used for good purposes.
We should not waste this human life by living the life of an animal
Helping family in house cleaning…(no cold shower and meditation till now).
I was undergoing chaser effect las night. And I remember how much I was thinking about watching bad stuff when I using my phone at night… while I was chatting on whatsapp.
But I managed it and as I gave a little more power to the thought of celibacy…I started thinking that only poor mindset people do those stuff…
Means if you give power to the right thought it is easy.
If you choose the right wolf you will always win.
Stay alert!! we are in war zone.
If our mind swings we get hurt.
Focus on goal and start fighting.
Maa shakti do
From last day everytime I think…what I am doing…is it beneficial…are my day dreams relevant…will this activity help me to my goals… would I be at loss…
And every there is correct and rational result.
And with my strong will power I guide myself… whether to that activity or not…
I still don’t know how can I give in so easily…
I was daydreaming all day…
I studied very little…
And of course my main problem this maladaptive daydreaming won again.
I am suffering from cold right now…
May be I will not be much active for few days.
One of my mistakes is that I was having one video stored hidden in my phone. And I knew about it. I kept it for the chaser effect.
Every time my mind was reminding me about that video. That I have to delete it when I beat this chaser effect.
I kept the video to reach there easily.( FOOLISHNESS) Because I was undergoing chaser effect.
And the plan worked I reached there easily and game over easily…
I have tried this early as well that if you have videos stored on phone…your mind less suggests to watch it because you can easily say that I have already stored it and watch anytime. So mind does not force much.
But this plan failed again proving that it is a bad idea.
Well now I think I should do normal mode first…
Taking up too much pressure is not letting me reboot…
I want to reach 90 days without porn first. This will give me a boost. And then I think I will easily reach 90 days without pmo.
No matters how many times you fail. Never give up. Stand up every time after a fall and you will be more stronger. Because you gain one thing everytime and that is experience.
very true !!
.
