Pandeybro's diary: want to be mature and successful

October 3 Today I got up at 4:10 am and did meditation pranayama yognidra etc till 5 am.
Then studied 2.5 hrs all followed by (overthinking my main problem)
Generally my Saturday’s are the day of relapsing…:worried::worried::face_with_head_bandage::face_with_head_bandage: So I try to remain more careful specially on Saturdays…

But I am not able to deal with overthinking…
It always reduces my productivity. And mostly leads to relapses.

Somebody help…:pray::pray::pray:

By the way this time no relapsing whatever happens but no looking back…
Less productivity acceptable everything acceptable but no relapsing…
Self introspection mode on …
जय माता दी।:om::om::pray::pray:

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:thinking::thinking::thinking:

What the hell is this bro exactly?

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It’s called maladaptive daydreaming. I’m experiencing it too, it’s very distracting. It happens whenever you’re not doing anything productive or lazing around/overthinking.

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Exactly brother I googled and most of the symptoms match …
There isn’t any official treatment. But I think meditation will work.
So now I know scientifically what my problem is so gonna cure it fast…

:om::om:

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Yeah bro it will work.
Focus on mindfulness meditation. It is the opposite of day dreaming.
I thought you were having fantasies or something regarding future wife.
It’s silly tbh, but most of any daydreaming is silly.
Practise mindfulness, you’ll be ok. :smile:

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SELF INTROSPECTION DONE.

Now it’s time for

REVENGE MODE.

My mind has made me this guy. It is my mind that is only responsible for what my current situation is. And now it is craving for dopamine and I have got the opportunity to take my revenge with it.

And I will not miss this chance. I have planned a new schedule to let the mind crave.

TO CHANGE YOUR SITUATION YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR SELF.

FLATLINE…
AVOID

  1. Social media
  2. Daydreaming
  3. tasty food
  4. TV,. Games
  5. Talking.

TO CHANGE.
1. Do study hard and do tasteless things.

I will be back to the forum in a few days till then good bye.
Stay strong guys
:om::om::pray::pray:

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Relapsed today, feeling embarrassed.

In the morning wathched some soft images. In the afternoon I got a bad news. This issue was not that big but I stretched it. Then watched some more soft pics in the afternoon. And then …dan Dana Dan…game over back to zero.

My morning behaviour warned me but I took advantage of the bad news in the afternoon. It is I who wanted to relapse and not my circumstances forced me to do so…

I could not cross my flatline…

I promise this was my last mistake.

I want to grow, I want to be mature, I want to learn. I want to expand.
Only struggle and pain can make me that.
After accepting my mistake and my failure I’m Starting again.

:pray::pray::om::om:

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Day 1
I was taken away by the chaser effect but it feels good. Now I am ready again to become the best version of mine…

Here I am marking my check points…

14 days ------ October 20.
1 month----- November 5.
3 months ------ January 4 (next year)…

No looking back. I am born to achieve greatness…

Also I will deal with my maladaptive daydreaming. It makes me weaker. And lead to relapses everytime…
Being social is a big solution…

When you are happy with your current situation you do not imagine and create a world of your own in your day dreams.

He maan shakti do​:pray::pray::pray:

I never thought I’ll relapse but I did.
Now I’ll make it my last relapse.

Be conscious.

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In life in order to grow.
We must have…a goal

One strong reason.

A reason that is important than your sleep in morning.
That is important than eating food.
That is important than watching TV.
That is important thanDoing PMO.
That is important than daydreaming.
Important than all your thoughts about future…
A reason that can change your life completely.

If you have such a reason, a goal, you have to become your best version to achieve it. You’ll not sleep any more in the morning, get up early, no TV, no pmo, no daydreaming, no overthinking and all

You become your best version and all the problem is solved. You concentrate all your energy on what you want and the day to day challenges are no longer a problem they become your lifestyle…

Let’s go and give ourselves such a strong goal such a strong reason that pmo goes away forever. Main focus be on that goal and what to do everyday to achieve that goal one day. PMO will no longer be a problem. That is how other people with big streak are going

All the best.
Stay celibating.:om::om::pray::pray:

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Very powerful words man.
Thank you for these. Keep going, we’ll make it this time.

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About to reach day 3…

Today I got result of my another exam and this result is satisfying. My family is a little happy with this result after so many days…

And I’m enjoying this moment a lot …and this happyness although litte but is more valuable then all my daydreaming pleasure. Because it is real and will last with me forever…

The daydreaming pleasure go away very soon and never return. I want to live in the present and receive happyness that lasts forever…

No pmo always gives good results.
Stay celibating :pray::pray::pray:

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About to reach day 6 …
Today a few members of my family are going out for a week so I’ll have more alone time…will try to study and keep myself busy with games, movies etc…

These I’m studying very less to give myself less pressure and stay away from pmo till I reach 1 week.

People are still taunting and this will continue for years…if I do not change myself by the end of the 2020…let’s work hard and bring a complete transformation and become the best version…
:om::om::pray::pray:

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It is a golden oppurtunity to see your truth. Truth is beautiful. Pass this test and you can easily complete your 1st month pure & strong. Message me everyday when you are alone.

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On 18 Oct…
Woke up at 5am
I went out for morning walk after years…I used to run in my house sometimes in my room only…
I did meditation. Family members are out for a week.
I did some shopping.
In alone time I watched TV. And YouTube… to keep me busy…
I started thinking about my future and career made some plans…will try to quit or reduce social media.
And ofcourse wanna work hard for career.
All my friends have got their platforms and it’s high time for me to achieve mine.
Keep going.

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Oct 19 day 6 going on.
Woke up late…
Went on morning walk about 2 km.
Meditation, shower, and prayer…
Now want to study…

:pray::pray::om::om:

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Keep doing brother! Studying, studying and studying again today :+1: :+1: :+1:

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In the evening of October 19…
I was watching simba movie… skipping some parts…
The rape scene in the movie made me upset…I felt like I also do crime when I watch porn etc…my heart was beating faster in that scene…but in the end the girl got justice and demons were incountered…

Meanwhile my mother started scolded me …and I also replied to her angrily…but afterwards I realised that I was wrong and then I cried a little for not having done something to make them feel proud of me. And if they scold me I also show her rage…

I realised how much parents sacrifice for us…give us food, shelter, clothes , toys etc …and also provide us good education and coaching upto their capabilities…
And if after we reach the age of 20 and they question me what I’ve done for them. Then I get angry and counter question and give arguments, excuses and that too in angry tone…

Their sacrifice can never be repayed So I should talk to them politely. Although I could not make them proud uptill now but should respect them always.

Now I always feel bad when my parents feel unhappy about me or any other reason…

I did not watch the complete movie at night but completed it on morning next day…

Now I will always respect my parents …and definitely make them proud one day
:pray::pray::pray::pray:

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October 20 day 7 going on…

Today I went on walking with my mother and walked for about 2km…
Did all my exercises etc …but I’m not studying much for which i was scolded by my mother.

Now that’s my actual problem…

This maladaptive daydreaming
I was angry at my behavior and wanted to study a lot …but my mind created a story in which I made my parents proud by cracking tough exams and bringing up social reforms…all in my daydream…

So all the motivation and energy which I had gained got away with this day dreaming…
Now again I’m here doing fun because I already made my parents proud in my dream so why studying more…
When would this problem be cured. That’s my major problem I’m still suffering the most.:face_with_head_bandage::face_with_head_bandage::face_with_head_bandage::face_with_head_bandage:

Keep going :pray::om::pray::om: and I will try to study.

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I am very happy for you, the way you went outside for walking. The way you realised your mistakes when you retaliate to your mother and Yes. You are finaly making actual plans to achieve your goals.

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Oct 21…day 8 going on

Went for morning walk…did exercise… studied less today uptill now…

And again I’m in flatline with low energy and motivation…And it always accompanies with lots of day dreaming…all about soft things…

I am trying to modify it but now I cannot watch any movies and other fun. … since one of the elder family members has returned early and will not allow me watch movies…and all.

Still let’s hope for the best…
Good bye daydreaming…
Most welcome my books…
Keep going :pray::pray:

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