Neveragains journal (+the part from the old forum)


#145

Tomorrow I will reach the highest streak of the last month :slight_smile:
Also, just 8 more days and I will have the highest streak of the last 3months

I now have two weeks of holidays. I feel amazing. All the pressure from the exam period is lifted from my shoulders. Thus, feeling really good


#146

just a quick reminder for myself.
one moment, urges can be not-existend, in the next, they can hit you like a truck.

i have them right now, because i don’t wanna go to bed since i didn’t have time for my night routine. there are some things i would like to do but i’m too tires for them. so, i’m looking for ways to stay awake.

instead, i will sleep now witout the routine i would love to do. i will do it better tomorrow.


#147

besides that, i’m on day 10 and not expecting to give-in any time soon :blush:


#148

Deleted my twitch and youtube account. I realized that they trapped me in a cyber world. They captured my thoughts the whole day and prevented me from living the life I deserve.

It really hurts me to do that. It feels like cutting out a part of myself. It became a part of my identity. Maybe the main part. I don’t wanna have that anymore. I have an amazing life. I just have to grab it

Day 11 finished :slight_smile:


#149

Life became such a rollercoaster.
I know that I can’t go back into my old life. Also, I don’t want to.
But I’m still not familiar enough with the new life. I often feel torn apart. Not really knowing how to feel.
Mainly, I miss my refuge. The place where I can flee from my life.

I try to have a lot of time where I have time for myself. Meditating or trying to feel the life around me.

The path I’ve choosen feels right eventhough it hurts like hell.


#150

At some point I will write my story down in one post (I guess when I feel like I am rewired)
I guess I will start now to gather some things that it will be easier then.

my Do’s:

  • Meditation
  • Enough time for myself
  • Finding happiness in small things
  • Habits
  • knowledge that I can change every second

my Dont’s

  • Looking for THE solution
  • easy fix
  • porn-blocker
  • excuss my behaviour because I’m an addict