Nep's diary (in pursuit of being unbreakable)

I relapsed last night. I’m in a loop and I hate it.
Earlier I was in a loop of 9 days, which got to 6 then it got to 2.
But now I’ll get out of this.
For now again my goal would be 2 days.
After that I’ll control myself for another 2 days. That’s it.

2 Likes

3 Likes

As I wake up tomorrow, I’ll have crossed this. So now I need to work on next 2 days.

4 Likes

I’m looking forward to make another change, which is food. I’m not too crazy behind junk food, but once in a while I keep consuming such food these days. I’ll be eliminating them completely from my life and will stick to home made.

5 Likes

Almost relapsed last night. It’s a weird pattern I’ve got in my mind. One part is highly disgusted by all of this (to the point it actually would want to throw up if I thought about sex enough), and there’s another part which still wants it.

I was about to relapse but then I just listened to the other part which is disgusted and the urges went away.

4 Likes

When Madara says to Guy that his red aura looks like falling red leaves🍁 Guy replies that it’s not without a purpose but they nourish the fresh green leaves which is the whole climax of his process.

The falling red leaves :maple_leaf: here represent our struggles and all the pain one must go through in order to achieve that goal. It’s not pleasant at all, just like the sight of falling leaves isn’t. But you have to keep going through it, so that in the end you get to the other side again. When your struggles come into fruition, that’s the ultimate climax of the process where all the depression goes away and you get acquire strength to not let it affect you anymore.

Similar for PMO, that you go through rough days is the red leaves :maple_leaf: falling, and you not needing it anymore would be the climax of your process.

3 Likes

Man I’m suddenly having uncontrolled urges. What do I do :sob:

1 Like

You can always control the urges. Every time without fail.

Your mind should be like a river, not a swimming pool. If dirt falls into a river, it is washed away quickly and the river remains clean. But if something dirty happens in a swimming pool, everyone has to get out :sweat_smile: Don’t allow any sexual thoughts to remain in your head. That is why the urges become so strong, with each second the desire to indulge them increases.

Remember how you defeated them two days ago. You can do that every time. There will always be a side of us that really wants to continue doing PMO, but there is the other side who is repulsed by it, who is sick and tired of starting his streak over and over again, who finally wants to experience success, joy and true happiness in his life. And even if happiness is out of reach for the moment, that other side knows that life without PMO is better than life with it. So hold onto that other side.

4 Likes

I survived. These weren’t regular urges, these were very strong and made me unable to focus on tasks of the day. Like a sudden attack of horniness on my mind.

3 Likes

Something is really wrong. I got a very strong headache and my body is numb. Feels like I’ll die today.

I lost. I’m sorry guys. I have been a huge disappointment.

1 Like

Did you feel good saying sorry to all of us?

Do you want to change the narrative?

2 Likes

No but it holds me accountable.

I managed to break out of the loop of two days.
Now I’ll have to make a bigger loop at the very least. I have to keep doing such smaller goals.

Moreover I’m excited to break (this given in the app) longest streak.

3 Likes

Man screw being loved by a girl, I want to be loved by a sheep like this :joy:

This picture will stay close to my heart.

4 Likes

GOATED Line :goat:.
I wish I could exchange the place with you.

Btw what happened to that dog? Seems Injured

2 Likes

Lol wdym?

He protected the herd from predators. So the sheep is thanking him…

I usually post pictures which I click myself but this is from the internet. And I love goats and sheeps, which I personally think make better pets than dogs or cats maybe.

But sometimes I eat mutton too :rofl::person_shrugging:

4 Likes

Yearning to live in a natural environment :mountain:

I agree, I once had a goat. I used to love her too much.

It’s all fine man, we have our cultures. My ex used to eat Rabbits.

2 Likes

:joy: Minced meat is best specially kabab and meatballs I love to eat them sometimes.

In my mothers house when she was a child they like to eat meat of :bird: Birds even sometimes my mother used to swallow their hearts :two_hearts: and here I am who have ornithophobia. :smiley:

1 Like

Bro makes it sound so romantic All respect though. I eat meat rarely, I just can’t imagine gulping a heart. :skull::sweat_smile:

1 Like

Well she says that There :heartbeat: taste good.

2 Likes