Nep's diary (in pursuit of being unbreakable)

and well
I wasn’t counting the days this time.
But I’ve finished 50 days now.

3 Likes

as men we should feel lucky.
We are divinely blessed with the things between our legs which can create such energy that can transform us completely. Too bad most men waste it out.
Sexual energy is never to be wasted, but to be channeled and transmuted into creativity.
Stay strong everyone.

2 Likes

reasserting it today more anger than ever before
Had some cravings for those things but when watched some stuff on TV (not me, just mum watching a damn serial) I was completely unaffected.

Asserting this too, shouting it out to that monkey part of my brain who wants these things.
I will not let anything stand in my way. Maybe I’ll turn into an asexual, but who tf cares?
I’m not getting nightfalls either. I don’t remember in these days getting a nightfall. It seems a long time since I’ve had one. I guess the energy is transmuting.

I want to fight like a monster. I want to fight forever, for every second of my life. Every moment of my life I want it to be pushing forward through the obstacles(both internal and external). That spark of fire in humans, I want it to turn into volcano of molten lava inside me so that it can never be extinguished.
Every moment I want to think of being stronger than before, being better and better and never backing down.

I know I’m yet to reach this state, but I’m hoping to be there. When the monster is unleashed, he will never stop.

2 Likes
2 Likes

thank you for sharing this post
this is so interesting that they’re so widespread in our society

1 Like

actually kept the post for myself, but I guess you’re welcome :sweat_smile:

2 Likes

you could use apps like Pocket, Raindrop.io, since they’re free and really useful for this purpose

2 Likes

they’re cross-platform and private

2 Likes

thanks. Will look into them

2 Likes

Almost relapsed today in the afternoon.
Somehow kept resisting.
My head was completely dizzy due to all this and I wasn’t able to move for a couple of minutes.

I need my heart (and brain) made of iron.

3 Likes

my urges aren’t gone yet.
This will be one long night.

2 Likes

Successfully resisted my urges of yesterday and today. Not only urges but other negative thoughts which deemed me as failure in my eyes (which sort of are connected to urges since they make me sad and increase the tendency to relapse).

Proud of what I’ve done today. I held strong and didn’t give in. A massive improvement in my brain process and can still be improved.

3 Likes

Another thing that I’ve learned today is that I need rewards that will make me keep going, not stop.
My brain can think that - “now you’ve resisted great, and you can stop now”. That reward is dangerous.
The reward here should be my increase in abilities so my brain should say -“now you’ve resisted so far, and let’s see how much you can keep going”.
I believe this is precisely how Goggins works.

3 Likes

Hold your ground and stay on it.
Bravery is cultivated with time and effort.

2 Likes

I’m tired. This fucking sucks.
Even after putting this much effort my dopamine levels are low.

1 Like

a very important thing that I realized (again)
Being a monster is to take what sucks “head on”.
That’s the most fundamental of it. To endure the discomfort is to be the monster.
To overcome it will result in a stronger one.

3 Likes

embracing my arrogance self again.

2 Likes

man I’m feeling overwhelmed again.

I’m trying to remember this

but it is too much easier said than done.
I got to hold on somehow.
I really need some dopamine, but not in my usual zombie way.
Man where the fuck is my dopamine from this struggling.
Last 3-4 days have been out of comfort zone and I’ve really tried to be strong.
I thought I’ll get used to it, but so far so not good

3 Likes

okay I got to hold on.
Just a little more. Don’t you fucking dare to back down.
I got this. I have to hold. Stand there. Stand still.
Just stand there. Hold your ground. Hold it. I can’t quit. I got to fight. I got to fight. I got to hold myself.
I just have to stand here on my ground. Just stand here. Don’t back down. Don’t lose. Don’t quit. Stay here, stay for a bit more. Stay here. Don’t lose.

2 Likes

I think I made it out of this situation.
Although I’ll be keeping alert instead of being lenient.

3 Likes