Day 14
You don’t seem to understand, this body is not yours to get orgasms.
- (Me talking to my urges)
Proceeds to destroy them just like that 
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Alright.
Getting some chest pains on the left side.
Also my left arm is a bit numb. Don’t want to exercise but somehow I got to manage to pull it off.
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You are doing well. Motivate yourself
A nightmare that shouldn’t happen to anyone 
I was racing my bike on a bridge and got caught in a honeybee swarm. And many of them collided with me and were on my clothes.
Fortunately only one was able to sting me, on my right hand. But it’s swollen now. Hurts a lot.
Can’t imagine what it would’ve been if I had stings all over my body. Even one sting can swell my hand and make it hurt so bad lol.
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Ah shit
good that it didn’t go worse . Take care
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I’m still wondering how did I get away with one sting. They were everywhere on me 
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so
this morning I brought that kid to my room.
He like that fastrack watch box I have. He opens it and takes the foam and plays with it and I was there sitting with him and started doing the same thing as him and thinking what the hell am I doing here with him 
He rubbed the foam on his palm, I rubbed it on his hand and his face and he was doing the same to me and he was enjoying it and so was I. Nothing else. Thinking about it still makes me laugh.
He made my day though, and I’m going to do those things even more with him now.
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True freedom was never being able to do whatever you want as in feeding to those pleasures (including sex, tasty food, drugs, internet and much more).
True freedom is when you are able to face that pain you are running away from, and that’s when you are able to do whatever you want.
Discipline gives the greatest freedom of your life. Delaying happiness is great, and perhaps the ability to say no completely to that happiness is even greater.
When you find that courage to face your fears and are able to look eye to eye into them and tell them - “you can’t do shit to me” I doubt how many pleasures in this world are actually greater than that.
The area of brain responsible for logic and willpower (i.e. the charioteer as explained in Bhagavad Gita, which is termed as “intelligence”) is called as prefrontal cortex or PFC for short.
And maybe nothing can beat the pure joy of feeling the immense strength in your PFC.
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And maybe as a pleasure this isn’t quite bad too 
Especially when you see something as magnificent as this 
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That’s one hell of a bizarre and scary predicament you found yourself in . Glad you’re ok bro. And don’t race on the streets bro 
Btw, what were you riding?
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I don’t do that lol, unless it’s an empty road (with no people around). Which it was, but there was a reason behind it
it’s kinda embarrassing to tell but here you go
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meh
Even after thinking to myself that I don’t need a woman, those desires try to get me when I see a woman’s figure. Although they don’t make a very significant impact and I send them away, it still serves as a reminder that I can slip if I get too comfortable.
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Not embarassing at all brother. What’s embarassing is the guys who whine in front of their parents to get them a premium ride.
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Lol yeah way too much.
I’m no bike enthusiast though, so this one works for me.
But I’d love to learn horse riding someday. I always imagined my character as a nomad in a fantasy world where he visits a lot of places and gains knowledge and has a horse who happens to be his very best friend (like roach, which is witcher’s horse)
Just a piece of fantasy in my mind anyway.
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Just stay on your feet.
You have to live, but not like a wimp.
Your stubbornness has kept you so far. It still demands you to chase your dream. Don’t let it go out of your sight.
Those voices and thought patterns want you to run away from this. They are hurting you. But don’t let them control you. These days the progress was slow but you still have come this far, you can’t let it slip away.
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man I wonder if anyone here comes from Afghanistan/Pakistan in the desert area where they grow melons.
I love muskmelons so much and I heard there they grow the biggest ones in the world. In here they are so much smaller lol.
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A thing that came to my realization today,
You don’t have to be perfect, just pushy.
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44 Suryanamaskaras in less than 5 minutes!
It’s a lot more of a mental game than physical.
Now maybe if I increase my capacity and would be able to do 20 more in 2 minutes?
That will make 64 in less than 10 minutes!
And what if I’m able to do 100 without any rest?
Well my fitness will be the greatest ever I have achieved in my life.
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Man that kid makes my day so much
He saw me and came running and shouting “kaka ye n” (he was calling me towards himself) and wanting to share his mango leaf with which he was trying to make some sounds (I guess his mum showed him that)
Too bad I was busy.
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Had to face extreme urges today. They just came out of nowhere. Was wondering if this was my end. Good thing it wasn’t. I held on and now they’re gone.
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