Everything is all about how bad you want to be away from porn.
Iām so damn horny right now
But I canāt relapse
Good thing is that my brain is being programmed to take on a lot of guilt after relapse(I used to feel nothing before). Something I canāt really take on. Time to sleep. And study as hard as I can.
Had loads of dopamine today. Watched YouTube like crazy. I here on promise Iām not watching a single clip tomorrow. What I can do is give myself inputs
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Dont do it bro,
Im regreting after my relapse today, please stay patient i know im no one to advice you but, you will sense a victory after the urge is over.
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I know
Iām that guy who has taken a head on with 10 hours of consistently being hornyš
Time to put that training to use. I feel headache too. Its a good sign. Iām rewiring. Gotta love these headaches
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My monster is coming up again. Gotta love that metal bat vibe. More they hurt you more youāre pumped up. More damage you take more your attributes increase and harder you strike them back. Wish I could do that in real life. Maybe I will, one day 
Donāt focus on the urges. Let them be and observe how they pass.
Those were words of an attention seeking loser.
Iām sorry guys.
tās OK. You have the right to feel what you feel. Do it with consciousness. And then do your best to let it go.
I have relapsed today again
I thought I could surpass my loop of 12 days
I couldnāt again
Now I take a vow
Starting now, I will surpass my record
And I wonāt be coming to my diary before that at all
Starting today, till I hit day 15
I make my promise to God and everyone out here
Iāll not relapse no matter what.
Thank you everyone who have encouraged me and who have stood up with me.
I swear on my community, I will not relapse. I will die but not relapse till I go to day 15, and after that Iāll break my record of 37 days too.
God please give me strength. I have to surpass 2 weeks now
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Iām on my 15th day today
I kept my vow
And Iām happy about it. It is time for a new battle. I will call it rewiring 2.0
To break the 12 days loop I need to hit 20 days and I have to make sure I donāt make another loop.
Other than that, being massively productive again.
I did study for 8+ hours for last 2 days, till my head got dizzy too. But totally worth it.
This is a big jump from being unproductive and thinking too much all day.
The goal now would be to incorporate the most important thing for me (studies) as a part of my lifestyle. I can incorporate exercise and other things later.
Thank you God for giving me strength to be able to make it this far.
Iām coming with a new boost again
Crossed my 2nd highest streak of 28 days
Right now at day 30
Hopefully I can also cross my highest streak of 37 days now
Just another week.
Urges are on fire, and almost gave up last night. But God knows something made me hold on (God himself did it I guess, I canāt be more thankful)
Itās time to evolve beyond this. I need to channelize this extra energy for a better purpose.
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Day 62
Iām not happy
I havenāt made much progress except for controlling my dick.
I realized something today. I wonāt be happy no matter whatever the days of nofap come up. 100 days, 1000 days it wonāt satisfy me.
And even if things were different they wonāt make me happy. I mean for sure Iād enjoy them for a while, but itās not enough. Itās simply not enough.
Iām still stuck inside a big mess. Iām still afraid. Still not disciplined. Iām still not using my willpower enough. Iām still not pushing myself hard enough.
Nofap was just one aspect of this long journey.
A part of my mind is speaking to me right now. This voice inside me is mocking me constantly. Telling me Iām worthless. Telling me Iām a coward with lots of self pity. Telling me that I havenāt yet faced my fears. Itās so tough to face my fears, the fucked up emotional stance Iāve taken on. Nofap isnāt a magical solution for everything. Nofap although extremely important is definitely not enough. Thereās a lot more in this journey. I have to face my fears. I have to do things that I hate but are necessary to achieve my goals. I have to go beyond my comfort zone and achieve my emotional stability there. I have to conquer my other demons now. I have to fight. Itās going to be a painful journey. But thereās nothing else I have to do in life.
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Iām just hating on myself right now. Iām a coward. Weak piece of trash with no control on his emotions.
Iām just weak. Iām worthless. Iām of no use to this world. Iām of no use to anyone. Iām still a pleasure seeking zombie. Afraid of the big world out there.
The only way I change it is when I go through that scary torturous path which can free me from all this.
I have to take charge. I have to become the monster. I hope I make it.
I have to fight. I have to hold on. Somehow with whatever strength left in me.
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Day 64
Life feels like hell
I crave the dopamine, but canāt get enough of it
But today feels for the first time my disciplined side wants to wake up again. A huge battle going on inside. Two parts of the same mind. One craves for dopamine. Other craves for achievements so says that this easy dopamine is simply not worth it. Letās do it the hard way. I did wake up early in the morning today even though it sucked hard. Exercised too. Feels good but not enough. Need to study hard now.
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A quote I read from Mdf app
Donāt remember the exact sentence but it said that when things are rough and you are sad itās best to concentrate your efforts to make the situation better.
Running away is definitely not a good solution.
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Day 66
Itās my dadās birthday
Had a heated quarrel with him
So things were a bit awkward
Growing up is something I donāt want right now
But after 5 days itās my birthday too
Time to get serious for the goal
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Day 67
Not having a good relationship with my parents
Honestly it sucks like anything now
Craving for dopamine like crazy
I wish there was an easy way out of this
I have to hold on
Day 68
This is the last time Iām mentioning my day
Since last 3 days Iām not waking up early, it sucks.
Seeing the competition between @Tagore and @_TIGER makes me feel like a loser.
Theyāre the strongest members of the community
Iām thinking of making a list and sticking to the routine every single day
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Bro skip the work, what you want to do at 10 .00 pm. And go to sleep ,next day you are on the track . Waking up early is the key ā¦ you are in 68 day . Now enjoy 
but when getting closer to 90 days stay away from all triggers and follow strict rule. .from 90 to 120 , focus on only nofap
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I was doing that
I was getting up early at betn 5-5:15 am
Then exercise then study
It wasnāt perfect. It was in bits and pieces and it sucked
But one day I was up late and now this is the 3rd day Iām just late. So even if my things werenāt perfect it was still better than getting up late and not doing anything at all