Nep's diary (in pursuit of being unbreakable)

Here is mine…

ddm6v4

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Okay
New plan

  1. Getting up on or before 5 am - 6am
  2. Pranayam, (anulom vilom, kapalbhati, bhasrika, bhramri) and if it goes well some light exercise
  3. Looking at the dot
  4. Studies
  5. No Youtube, no twitter, no useless internet at all
  6. Useless phone usage < 30 mins throughout the day
  7. Evening pranayam
  8. Tratak before sleep (10 mins)

Starting slow, starting small
I’ve also learned one thing - small consistent steps are always better than big steps followed by nothing after some time

I’m resetting my days too
Not sure how many times chaser has got me and I didn’t bother to show up
So I have to reset them now

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And this guy!
7 days away from his perfect 1000 days.

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What did you just do? :cold_face:

I’m sorry
What do you mean?

@FlowForCourage
If you’re speaking of relapse no I haven’t done it, I haven’t done it just now

Read here

My bad!

I have seen “19 min” under your nickname on the app… I thought it was a relapse!

So
I’ve got a stone in me
It’s not big, just 4mm (which they told me is not big and can be dissolved I guess)
Not much big of a problem, however hurts like hell
Yesterday I know I could barely sleep due to extreme pain
He told me to recover and then continue my workout after that. Everything will be fine I hope.

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I cannot say I have been there …
But I had a major scare because my urologist suggested me a Scan as I complained of pain around my urethra

Turned out it was just because of over sitting in lockdown

I wish you speedy recovery champ.
We shall play hopskotch with that stone :joy::joy:
Or if dissolved idk .
But hey you got this!!

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I got this
One of my people said she got a feeling that I’ve crossed the hard part
It’s evening again, the excruciating pain is supposed to start now, it hasn’t
Yesterday, when I wrote my last entry I was doing great. I was in the hospital. Had my things checked up and was about to go home. However while coming back, the pain started. We were on the bike, I was still 50 km away from home. I did bear it, then had to be admitted. Had to have some saline bottles. That stupid nurse - couldn’t find my vein twice. I don’t even remember how many times I was pierced with needles(yeah I’m afraid of them😂, even if a grown up). And then another couple hours of unbearable pain. When it was over I can’t tell you how relieved I was. Today morning I still had pain, but not as severe. I went through it. No pain so far. I don’t want to take those needles again. But as it seems to me - I’ve been through the hard part. Now the end remains. I’ll get the stone out and be back again

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Just when I thought it was over :unamused:
Nope, not over yet. It’s 4 in the morning and what a smooth transition of painless to mild pain to a stronger one. This has been ruining my sleep since I don’t even remember now :unamused: :unamused:
What in the world? I want the fucking stone out now. Just fucking out. Out of me. Get the hell out of me man! At least the pain is bearable enough to let me type this now. Those other times were horrible. Literally horrible. I wish this doesn’t happen to anyone else. Drink plenty of water folks!

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I wish you a lot of courage during this ordeal … May you get well quickly.

I’ve lost again
Relapsed
Thought I could do NNN
But all pathetic.
Stuck like before again. I’ll have to start all over again. Everything. Start all over again!
I have to get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight. Get up and fight.
The monster can’t die. Can’t die. It can’t die. It just can’t die. It can’t die. It has to get up and fight. No matter what happens. Monster has to fight. My monster has to fight. My monster has to fight. My monster has to fight. My monster has to fight. My monster has to fight. My monster has to fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight
There’s no other way. Only way is to fight back. Only way is to fight back.

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:’( Why did you do that!!!

I’m sorry bro. I’m really sorry. I can use a lot of help rn. Will you help me???
This has got to be my last ejaculation of this year. Like you. I need help. I really do. I can’t keep losing like this. Chaser has got me really good.

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Okay
New rules

Rule 1 - I know what’s the problem. There’s a trigger. A woman. First off I have to eliminate her at max. I can’t eliminate her completely. So I have to keep her at bay. No choices at all.

Rule 2 - don’t, and I’m fucking serious don’t even take a peek. A peek will be considered a relapse now. No matter what, no peeks. Edging is also a relapse now. That’s it.

Rule 3 - I can’t afford to sleep in a position that stimulates my thing. Nope not at all.

Rule 4 - absolutely no sexual thoughts while sleeping. No thoughts at all.

Rule 5 - plenty of exercise. To exhaust myself for good.
My kidney stone is almost solved, so this should be not be much of a problem now. I can do it. I can do 50 again and that will be good.

Rule 6 - The max probability of this happening is during the night when I’m sleeping and during the afternoon, when I’m alone. So be careful regarding that. Edging at this time isn’t allowed, so is sleeping at bad positions.

My goal now is one week. Start small, continue small, let it all accumulate and achieve big

After that I’ll try to get back to routine. This has to be easy. Yes it is easy. Who am I kidding? Before this I could fight off urges for 10-12 hours straight despite severe stressful situations, while simultaneously doing the work. My dopamine levels are just a bit higher now. Have to bring them down and bear with it. This is my training. I can fight and win. I can fight and win. I can fight and win. I can fight and win. I can fight and win. I can fight and win.

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Hey bud! You really dont need rules…Imposing rules means restricitng yourself–This subconsiously creates an image that PMO is a “Forbidden Fruit”.

Take this analogy… In childhood we were told to not do something…BUT rather than not thinking about it …We started thinking about it MORE and MORE… Its just human nature.

So I say… You start enjoying life rather than restricting it…

Just follow the following intructions as given in the EasyPeasy Book and You will surely be PMO free!!

*If you follow these instructions, you cannot fail:

  1. Make a solemn vow that you’ll never, ever, go online to visit your harem OR settle for static pictures OR make peace with erotic graphics OR anything that contains supernormal stimuli, and stick to your vow.
  2. Get this clear in your mind: There’s absolutely nothing to give up. By that, it isn’t meant that you will be better off as a non-PMOer (you’ve known this all along); nor that although there is no rational reason why you PMO, you get some pleasure or crutch from it, since otherwise you wouldn’t do it. What’s meant is there’s no genuine pleasure or crutch in PMOing. It’s just an illusion, like banging your head against a wall to get pleasure when you stop.
  3. There’s no such thing as a confirmed PMOer. You’re just one of the hundreds of millions who’ve fallen for the subtle trap. Like the millions of other ex-PMOers who once thought they couldn’t escape, you’ve escaped.
  4. If at any time in your life you were to weigh up the pros and cons of PMOing, the overwhelming conclusion would always be “Stop doing it. You’re a fool!” Nothing will ever change that. It’s always been that way and always will be. Having made what you know to be the correct decision, don’t ever torture yourself by doubting. Pascal’s Wager perfectly applies to PMO, with no chance of loss, high chances of gains, and high chances of avoiding losses.
  5. Don’t try not to think about porn, or worry that you’re thinking about it constantly. Whenever you do think about it, whether today, tomorrow, or the rest of your life, think “YIPPEE! I’M A NON-PMOer!”
  6. Do not use any form of substitute. Do not keep your laptop next to you while you sleep. Do not avoid plays, movies or magazines. Do not change your lifestyle in any way purely because you’ve stopped. If you follow the above instructions, you’ll soon experience the ‘moment of revelation’, but:
  7. Don’t wait for the ‘moment of revelation’ to come. Just get on with your life, enjoying the highs and coping with the lows. You’ll find in no time at all the moment will arrive.
    The Instructions
  8. Follow all instructions.
  9. Keep an open mind.
  10. Start with a feeling of elation.
  11. Ignore all advice and influence that conflicts with EasyPeasy.
  12. Resist any promise of a temporary fix.
  13. Get it clear in your mind: Porn provides no genuine pleasure or crutch and you aren’t making a sacrifice. There’s nothing to give up and no reason to feel deprived.
  14. Don’t wait to quit, do it now!
  15. Make a decision never to watch again and never question it.
  16. Remember there is no such thing as just one peek.
  17. Never watch porn again.*
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I’ll keep this here to remind me of what I have achieved so far

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Had an urge last night
Glad I didn’t give in
It feels really awful later, not to mention the loss of strength.
Today I did 50 sets again, and I must say I’m affected because I didn’t exercise for a long time. Usually I’d finish 50 in 8-10 mins, today it took me 15. My flexibility is still doing good, or perhaps even better. My strength isn’t gone yet. I have to hold on. I can do it. Got my share of dopamine too, not to mention the sense of accomplishment.

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2 days out
I have less anxiety now.
I’m glad I’m holding up😃

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I have to fight. I have to hold on. That is the only way. I know very well what it does
It hurts
It scares you
It overwhelms you
But when you cross that
It pumps you

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