Nep's diary (in pursuit of being unbreakable)

Day 20
Flatline has come up
I’m annoyed so much by the lack of dopamine
Once I get natural with my studies again, I’ll be fine
This is the final stage of this journey, and the most difficult one. After I finish this, I’ll start a new one. But it’s so irritating I can’t help it. I’m weak. But I have to keep myself here.

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Day 22
Learned an important lesson today
Keeping resentments doesn’t help
And certainly they don’t help you progress, rather they just weigh you down
I would admit that I’m not a perfect human, I do have resentments against people. However, it’s time for me to let go of them. And that I don’t need to keep highlighting them anymore. Neither I need to think about anyone why he/she is like this. I just need to leave them out and move on. I need not to reflect onto them at times. None of that is worth it. This is probably my first step to achieve that “focus” I’ve been always wanting. I can do this. My progress is slow, but I’m still in the game. I’m so happy to have learned this. It’s a liberating feeling. It’s not to look cool in front of everyone, to appear like a monk in front of everyone. It is for me. It is for my own mental health and peace. It is for me to grow as a human. I’m happy. I will act less on feelings and more rationally now.

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That ending, when he runs happily - that’s how I’m feeling rn🙃

Well, they skipped this part. I still have to grow though. And I’ll do it.

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Alright
So I edged to the brink
I’m not resetting my counter yet. And I’m making a checklist. I’ll follow it no matter what. That’s how it has to go, no fking excuses. I’ll do these things everyday

  1. Getting up on or before 5 am
  2. Pranayam, 50 surya namaskar, 1-2 km run (has to take 1 hr)
  3. Study (10 hrs)
  4. No sleep during daytime
  5. Light pranayam, 50 suryanamaskar in the evening
  6. No Youtube, no twitter, no useless internet at all
  7. Phone usage < 30 mins throughout the day
  8. Tratak before sleep

:x:for failure
:white_check_mark: for success
Now I have to do or die
I’m not dying yet. I’m backing up and fighting. Even if it hurts like hell I will fight. I will fight. I will win. I will fight
I will win, I will fight and win. I will fight and win. I will fight and win. I will fight and win, I will fight and win, I will fight and win, I will fight and win, I will fight and win, I will fight and win, I will fight and win, I will fight and win, I will fight and win

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Creativity, intelligence, focus, memory, cognition, confidence - you are all my slaves now. To my every braincell, you are my slave. This is an assault. I’m taking back what is mine - you. You will serve me till our deaths. You are not allowed to go anywhere. You will follow your original purpose now - to aid me for achieving my goals. Nothing else
You will serve me no matter what. You are my slaves no matter what. You’re not on your own now. You’re under my command. And only my command. You will follow my orders and no one else’s. No matter what, you will serve me and you will aid me. You will keep doing this till I achieve my goal. You will keep this up till the life is finished. You are my slaves. Act like slaves. Get to work and keep serving me for my objective. You heard me??? Get to fkin work. You have only one purpose of serving me. Only me.

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in the evening I did 100 suryanamaskaras
I’m still not happy with myself, I have to use this energy for constructive purposes
I’m studying hard, hardest than I have ever done

  1. Getting up on or before 5 am (it was 5:05 am, hope it is acceptable) :white_check_mark:
  2. Pranayam, 50 surya namaskar, 1-2 km run (has to take 1 hr) :white_check_mark:
  3. Study (10 hrs) it was 7 hrs :x:
  4. No sleep during daytime :x:
  5. Light pranayam, 50 suryanamaskar in the evening :white_check_mark:
  6. No Youtube, no twitter, no useless internet at all :white_check_mark:
  7. Phone usage < 30 mins throughout the day :white_check_mark:
  8. Tratak before sleep :white_check_mark:
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Hello brother I read your progress…its cool…try hard share your code…mine is…d99ed2

ddm6v4

This is mine…

  1. Getting up on or before 5 am :white_check_mark:
  2. Pranayam, 50 surya namaskar,1-2 km run (has to take 1 hr) :white_check_mark:
  3. Study (10 hrs) :x: I did 7 hrs again
  4. No sleep during daytime :white_check_mark:
  5. Light pranayam, 50 suryanamaskar in the evening :white_check_mark:
  6. No Youtube, no twitter, no useless internet at all :white_check_mark:
  7. Phone usage < 30 mins throughout the day :x: it was 40 mins
  8. Tratak before sleep :white_check_mark:
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Change of plans - maybe for studies I can’t directly jump to 10 hours from nothing. So my focus would be to do it 5+ hours. It has taken a huge amount of willpower and my head hurts like anything. But I’ll have to do it. No matter what

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Start small, finish big!

Okay
So I’ve screwed up :pensive:
I’ll have to start again :sweat:
I have nothing to say now

Pay attention to the chaser effect! Be careful bro.

Next one will be longer :muscle:

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Yeah well
To compensate for that
I did 100 sets of suryanamaskar (a form of exercise)
Last time it took me 28 minutes, this time 5 minutes less. My head hurts less and I’m becoming better

Thank you so much for your concern.
I’ll have to start again anyway. Can’t get back the lost time

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