I’m done lol. Bhad mai gaya guldasta.
This is my wish now. That dude in my profile did the same.
Wish I had done the same, I wish I had stopped when there was still time.
1 Like
what did you do???
1 Like
So another incident about that kid.
It was long since I had seen him. And he kept speaking “kaka” (uncle in Marathi) which he uses to denote to me. He said it so many times, calling me towards him and man my heart melted and I couldn’t take it. So I went to hold him for a while.
An aunty in our colony was asking to take him with her, but he was adamant to be with me 
I took him on the top of my house, and we watched moon and stars together for a while. He was pointing his hand towards the moon, wanting to catch it.
7 Likes
That’s awesomly cute.
1 Like
Aaaand I fell sick. Feels good to use all of my willpower though 
I exhausted it completely.
1 Like
I’ll make my mind bend to my will. No more overthinking of irrelevant topics. Only driven for the goal.
For now, all the mental stress translated into physical. I’ll do it over and over again. Until I become the person I want to be. My body is a dictatorship and I’m (soul) the dictator 
You’ll listen to me soon. You’re going to be my slave. I’ll beat those worthless desires out of you.
4 Likes
just fucking leave me alone you morons! I’m not here to satisfy you. Let me live by my rules. Go fuck yourself
I want to live. Live by my rules. Not by these stupid desires.
Let me live you idiots. Let go of me.
3 Likes
It seems my attraction to trans ■■■■ is fading away.
It was one damage that was done to my brain because of constantly watching ■■■■.
Thankfully I didn’t go on to watch homo stuff (no hate to homos, but mine was pure lust)
1 Like
Wow…kaka means uncle in Odia too.
Nice to meet you !
I am from Odisha.
1 Like
Kaka means uncle in every Indian language
2 Likes
Nice to meet you too
Hm🤔
1 Like
I had a very violent dream.
I was in a workplace and some terrorists attacked us.
They held us hostage and constantly were patrolling, and meanwhile degrading us (calling us names and hitting us sometimes). It made me very angry.
Meanwhile there was a guy from the rescue team, but sadly got beaten up and placed next to me.
I was very angry because of one guy who was constantly berating me (and probably was gay, wanting to do stuff to me). But he was also bigger and stronger and armed.
I asked the guy next to me if he can do something, but he was injured. His weapons were taken away from him but he had his knife inside his uniform which he managed to hide from the terrorists.
He showed me that. I took it and while being both angry and scared, sneaked behind that guy and brutally stabbed him to death 
He had a twin brother who came to see what happened and I was below the corpse of the one I had killed. When his brother turned it around I stabbed his throat too.
Unfortunately killing two of them was not enough and more men came up and they caught me and were taking me and I was scared and woke up.
4 Likes
We also call our uncle “Dada” 
1 Like
Bhyi I also have alot of these dreams, and in mine people are always hunting me and I’m running away most times😂
Same same, kaka, dada, baba,
1 Like
so I went on for a trip on bike and found a street vendor moving his cart of pani puri, probably trying to get home.
And I asked him if I can get some from him in the middle of a road
Not to mention I’ve still got my loose motions and yet I decided to eat that.
But he stopped for me and was a very kind man. He actually gave me some extra puris for the same rate. And I’m full now 
It’s been months since I ate that. Fever has left a bitter taste in my mouth so anyway I needed something tasty.
I hope to find him again someday and be his friend.
4 Likes
Man sometimes thinking about these things feels so good.
Enhanced cognitive abilties, superhuman strength and intelligence. Extreme endurance and drive to achieve your goal. And the most important thing of all - unbreakable focus.
Having these things is certainly not easy, one has to earn them.
Feels good to fantasize them, because these desires are worth your entire life. Just imagine you are constantly driven to achieve what you want and you are unstoppable and equipped with this abilities.
Even when you are unable to work for a while you can’t stop thinking about it. That obsession is what one needs to bring the whole world down.
3 Likes
This diary is been with me through all. Man I’m going to be so thankful for it and the notes I’ve made on it.
I love my diary 
(cringe but yeah )
I hope the website never goes down. But yeah after I have achieved my goal, I’ll make sure to get it printed out for my own. It has my mistakes and my insights and so I never forget them I’ll keep it with me
3 Likes