Nep's diary (in pursuit of being unbreakable)

Nep_12 · January 7, 2023, 3:59pm

On your feet. Start slow, keep moving forward. You got this.

Nep_12 · January 8, 2023, 6:06am

I’m just going to keep it here

Nep_12 · January 8, 2023, 9:58am

so an important thing to apply right now.

step back
don’t be afraid of the bad outcome. It’s okay, life is there to fuck you in the ass. Nothing surprising. Relax and enjoy. You just gotta make your ass harder. You can.
Assess how you can level up. Go for it one step at a time.
Repeat.

I’m saying it again, my cookies are not that tasty as I thought they would be. But hey, you can do it without cookies too. You can choose to believe in yourself, even without any success in life. There were bad outcomes then, there can be bad outcomes now. But you can still move ahead. You’re alive, you are a life that wants to survive and thrive. Your survival is your responsibility. Take it in your hands.
You can do this man, even with all those failures you can fight back.

Nep_12 · January 8, 2023, 10:13am

Call me a narcissist, but I’ve always believed that I’m meant to do something bigger in my life. Something larger than life. Something that can create a big and fairly permanent difference around me.
I’ve desired it so much.
The desire never went away. It’s still here, in my heart and stronger than ever.
I don’t really know if my desire will be fulfilled, and the stakes right now seem really bad for me. I’m really scared.
But I have to hold on. Because maybe this is my last chance to prove myself.

The_integrous_one · January 8, 2023, 11:06am

Oh shit

It’s ok bro. Things will work out, keep working.

Nep_12 · January 13, 2023, 6:30am

I have to win. No matter how much it sucks

Nep_12 · January 18, 2023, 3:26pm

move you fucking idiot! Move forward! Every second of your life is dedicated towards your goal.

Nep_12 · January 18, 2023, 3:29pm

I don’t care how much it hurts. All I want is that you fucking move. I don’t care even if you die in this attempt, you better move.

Nep_12 · January 19, 2023, 4:48am

If you hate your life, you better go inside that gutter and rot in that stench for a while (maybe will take longer than you expected) and make your wish into your positive changes. Or else you’ll rot forever in it.
That’s how life is going to be.

Nep_12 · January 19, 2023, 4:56am

well when I thought all hopes were being lost I happened to see this.

I needed to remind myself a few things. This diary is my own personal treasure.

Nep_12 · January 19, 2023, 10:00am

And I failed again. Fuck
Okay I can still pull this off. I’m stronger than this.
One step at a time. I can do this.

Nep_12 · January 19, 2023, 10:48am

alright get back on track. Now move.

Nep_12 · January 19, 2023, 1:29pm

Dopamine is really magical.

Today I broke my record of 42 Suryanamaskaras that I had set last feb. I did 44 without any single break at all today. I think I could’ve done more though, maybe 50+. Such a shame that I didn’t push harder.

As for you - you’re still a fucking damn loser. You relapsed last night and today. Those 44 mean nothing now. You have to study and become an expert at it. You have to study 12 hours every fucking day. When you achieve that I’ll think of your reward, because even after that you have to achieve something too big. Even after that you won’t be enough. So the fight isn’t done yet and get moving you idiot.

Nep_12 · January 19, 2023, 1:32pm

I’ll see if you can do 100+ without stopping first, even after that you’re gonna keep pushing.

Remember, you’re the biggest fucking loser that I know of. Biggest loser on this planet! And to compensate for that you got to be the biggest driven person on this planet. Don’t get any new ideas, just move!

The_integrous_one · January 19, 2023, 4:21pm

Rather than 12 hours of study I’d suggest

Working out daily
Meditating daily
Sleeping 8 hours daily.
Studying atleast 7-8 hours daily.

If you manage to do all this consistently you’ll slay for sure and it’s quite manageable too.

The_integrous_one · January 19, 2023, 4:29pm

Bruh if you call yourself a loser you’ll stay a loser.
Get rid of the negative self talk, throw it out of your life completely, rather practice postive affirmations.

Nep_12 · January 24, 2023, 4:48am

You have been too much inside the comfort. Get out and suffer. Suffer for long enough to make it a cakewalk. And stop being scared of suffering.

Nep_12 · January 24, 2023, 4:50am

Keep your eyes on the prize. That prize is you. A bigger, stronger, tougher you.

Mazerunner · January 24, 2023, 7:37am

I think this title is still retained by me

Nep_12 · January 24, 2023, 12:28pm

nah bro, I’m still way behind you. I’m also no longer a big streak person as you think of me to be. I relapsed last night itself. Unsure of the future and I don’t know what will I do now. Of course I got to keep pushing.