I uninstalled snapchat for this reason. Broke close to 70+ streaks with people and some well over 1150-200+ days but I posted a final screenshot saying I was deleting the app anyways, and that keeps me accountable lol. I never regret that decision. Willpower is a limited resource, use it wisely.
I installed it once, found the discover page stupid and uninstalled in 2 days, never went there again
I never go on the discover page, I only go there to send my family photos
Day 0
So here I am starting again, I am going to keep going no matter what and keep up the grind, I’m not going to let myself get bored and I’m going to learn to embrace the urge instead of trying to get rid of it, ive fallen badly today but I’m to get back up.
Day 1
Did alot today, mowed my parents lawns, prune branches and sprayed some areas in the backyard, it was a good day and a way for me to get back on track.
Day 7
Been busy with gym and work like usual, been getting alot of anxiety the past few days, and am suffering from low dopamine but I’m staying consistent and keeping my head up, because this is the withdrawal phase and that’s the hardest bit to get and the worst place to be, but I’m not giving up, I’m continuing to stay strong. The gym and my work are the only things keeping me going right now, I’m continuing to take cold showers and be naked which help too, I’m also trying to start practicing meditation again.
last night I relapsed, so here I am starting again, I will take a few days to focus on myself, my mental health comes first.
So I have relapsed again, this relapse has really hit me this time, ive realized how lost I’ve become, it feels like no matter how hard I try its as if I’m not trying hard enough, looking back at last year when I nearly went 6 months on nofap, there were things I was doing that allowed me to go this far on nofap, especially during the first 30 to 90 days, starting from that relapse from last year, I decided to sit down and find strategies to prevent relapsing, and went as far as uninstalling all my social, even the important ones, except for YouTube, because I knew having social media there was not going to help me especially in this state, so I took a few weeks off and started sorting myself out, in the first few days I was on YouTube researching nofap and motivational videos that had an impact on me for the next few months, this information stuck in my head and helped me form a new mindset, all of the worries had disappeared, I was barely using my phone because instead I was busy living my life, and applying everything i learned from from nofap in my life, I was constantly keeping physically active and when I had urges I always had something to do, after reaching 90 days my brain had rebooted and life became a new normal I had brought social media back into my life, but was using it in moderation, I was no longer dependent on it, I also felt I could set my own boundaries without feeling like I was missing out on anything life felt amazing and I was feeling fulfilled, skip forward to just days before reaching 6 months, I made one silly mistake of being on my phone in my room thinking I wouldn’t relapse and I was wrong because it happened in the blink of an eye, and there I was starting again for the first time in 6 months, since then I’ve been trying to get back on nofap but I’ve been struggling to stay on nofap, and every time I relapse, I just feel weaker and weaker, for a while now, ive been realizing that something has to change and I’ve been trying to figure out what, but I think I have now got it figured out, firstly my phone usage, being in this state I’m in, im better off doing something else, in response to this relapse I have decided to take a break from all social media, even the important one’s, because rn I’m my own top priority and I’m not going to get better with these influences, its for the best. I’m at one of my lowest moments right now and all I can do is rise.
Brother, you can find your way back again.
I was so proud of you when I saw that you passed 90 days and beyond. I kept up with your journey and enjoyed the videos you posted as well. You really had figured out how to break out of the cycle.
You had such a strong commitment. It was inspiring to me as I was really deep in the addiction at that time and I was lost, as you feel right now.
Rise from here brother, you don’t belong in the darkness anymore. That chapter of life is over, time to reach the heights you deserve.
Thank you brother, its good to know my videos helped, i wish you the best in your journey!
I have got a new YouTube video coming in the next few days or the next week, I did a rehearsal last night and am still writing down the transcript for the main part of the video.
Brother this fight isn’t over until you win
Never back down prepare for the next round
Nothing big, but I managed to say hello to a group of girls who I went to high school with, I didn’t say much but I did say hello and that I’m doing great as I was walking past them, I see it as a achievement because I almost got too shy to say hello.
Day 25
Been getting alot done, have been studying, transmuting my sexual energy, been hitting the gym, made a YouTube video which is the video above, also been keeping my room clean and trying to keep on top of my washing, today I missed out on a rodeo show but still got there at the end while food trucks are still running, I also got to see people who I went to high school with which was exciting, back then I was this shy introverted guy, now I find I can talk more than I used to.
Day 28
Since the end of last year, I’ve been suffering from a very sharp pain in my lower back, caused by bending over alot at work, which is a problem because im tall, the pain in my back radiates into my right leg even though I rest the pain doesn’t go away, my back becomes all stiff, and have trouble walking properly in the first few steps I take, this morning when I woke up was probably the worst pain I have ever experienced, I could hardly move but after taking painkillers and I started moving around, the pain disappeared, for me the pain always reduces when I move around more, always comes back when I’m resting and not moving around, I’ve come to believe what I am experiencing is sciatic pain, which is a pinched sciatic nerve in the lower back fortunately it is reversible with regular exercise the pain will reduce but it could take a few weeks to a few months but I’m willing to work on my back recovery and it’s a good reason to stay busy, keep exercising and focus on my sexual transmutation more, my back recovery will give me something to focus on, especially on nofap, I had stopped exercising for a while because I thought that was causing the pain, but it just got worse, so exercise is the best medicine, when I have finished my work study, I won’t be sitting down as much, so will be able to move around more.
Day 30
1 month free from ■■■■ and masturbation, I had a wet dream this morning, was a big mess in my underwear, I been working on myself focusing on studying work and gym, I’ve also been having me time without going on my phone been visiting the beach or going to galas to meet old friends, and when im home, I’ve been mowing lawns and doing some washing. Today I was at my parents for a whole day, fixed their broken clothes line and did some welding, it was a very productive day for me. I’ve been doing quite well doing the things I normally do, I’m also remembering to stay humble and remind myself that this is not a day count.
Keep going strong brother, you’re doing great
Hopefully exercise helps heal those issues with your back, sounds painful
Thank you bro, been moving around alot in the past few days which has been helping.