Well brothers, here I am starting again after nearly 6 months sober, those of you wondering what happened, I had let myself get bored and that lead to consequences, I relapsed and yes I take full responsibility I had let myself get bored and I know Iām better than this, but itās a learning curve to me, i know what I did was wrong and i have to do whatās right and hold myself accountable. On nofap its very important to plan days in advance with activities and keep busy at all costs and you will never get bored. You only get bored when you sit there doing nothing and boredom is the no.1 cause of a relapse.
Ah dudee, itās fine bro, you did really really well this time, letās keep striving to get better.
Yeah I did, I found I learned alot about myself that I didnāt know before and I found overcoming hurdles easy, I decided not to let this relapse get me down, I decided to continue from where I left off and continue my grind and self improvement, that relapse was just a wake up call.
Good to know that bro.
Day 7. The first half of the day I was feeling like shit and started to feel hopeless, but I turned over a leaf just by being around my family and started tidying my room then I used my dadās tractor to pickup some gravel, ive only driven it a few times and Iām learning fast I am starting to pick things up like the controls etc. Doing this left me feeling real good, especially since I have been feeling down for a few days, keeping busy with transmutation and being physically active is good for the mental health.
Today I watched the all blacks play against Ireland then my grandparents came and I spent time with them then while my dad was milking cows, I fed the calves and then I drove my dadās tractor.
(Written yesterday)
Today for my birthday I had work, after work I had a rest for a bit because I was tired then I started getting ready to go to my parents for dinner I had dinner with them and they made me a birthday cake
Day 17.
This week has been big week, prior to my 21st birthday party I was busy preparing for it my party was fun, friends from school were there and I had a good catch up with them, I met someone new who was a +1 of my friends and found her really easy to get along with, after my party the next day there were some family issues and my role was to step up and have the role of being the supportive brother.
Today is the darkest day in my whole nofap journey, because I have relapsed 3 times in a short period of time this is worst state Iāve been in since I started nofap in matter of seconds the consequences for this is weak muscles, no energy to do anything, im completely numb canāt feel a thing, I have got brain fog and canāt think clearly, I am like a zombie and am quite brain dead. Regardless im in this journey for as long as it takes and Iām going to get back up and continue working on my self improvement and become my best self, yes I have fallen badly and yes this is one of the worst days, but I canāt give up, because this addiction will take everything away from until I become helpless, no one is gonna help us especially if we donāt help ourselves, itās up to us to change and put in the effort, I have fallen pretty miserably and itās time rise!!! Im done letting this addiction dictate and its about time I seriously man up and really commit to nofap lifestyle. From this day forward im going to really take nofap real seriously, I am going to put in real effort and Iām going to really work hard to keep physically active.
That looks so peaceful man. Itās really hard to find beaches here that are not crowded.
Thatās me in September 2021 and November 2023, I have definitely grown some muscle since then.
I had relapsed yesterday and the day before, I was actually tidying my room for a house inspection, but I ended up going on my phone throughout the day, and eventually caved in and relapsed, yesterday I relapsed because of the chaser effect and I picked myself up from there, the bedroom is always a danger zone so I have to be careful, Iām getting back up on the horse and going again.
Day 14
Iāve been doing alot, Iāve been working out and studying, which is improving my physical and mental health, people have actually noticed a change in my appearance physique wise, knowing this makes me feel more confident about myself, unfortunately I had no choice but to take a break on short notice, because I tested positive for covid recently and it meant I had to isolate in my room, normally my room is a vulnerable place where I relapse, but Iām not making the same mistakes, so Iāve been turning my phone off to rest, I tidied my room and made my bed, being in my room for 5 days, Iāve been listening to my music on Spotify and downloaded Netflix to divert me from wanting to do pmo while I isolate and recover, I canāt wait to be out of isolation so I can start hitting the gym again, the gym is my happy place.
Ooh man! that sucks. Hope you feel better soon!
Take care brother. Wishing you a speedy recovery and freedom.
Thank you brothers, I got better in time to celebrate Christmas.
Good to know that ā¦
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Day 30
I come to an end of a busy 6 days of work and it saw me returning to the gym following my covid near Christmas time, being back at the gym itās as if I never left, Ive been investing alot of time into this and also cooking healthy meals. Tomorrow being my days off work Iām planning a road trip for myself.
so I get this randon notification from sc so I clicked it because it was in my notification tab then next thing it shows me this video video of a girl drinking coffee, I clicked the profile quickly to see who it was when I saw the profile I realized it was a model, I immediately got out of there and realized I how close I was to being lured in the thirst trap, I then clicked on an icon saying donāt show me these type of videos, it was wrong of sc sending me a notification like that, it gave me a strong urge and the feeling of wanting to bust, I didnāt panic, I stayed calm and distracted myself with cooking, and then the urge passed on.