Day 13.
Today I was at my happiest place Iāve been in a long time, today after the gym, I went to the supermarket, I had my head up instead of looking at the ground and felt very confident and was smiling because I felt very happy, I havenāt felt this happy in a long time. It also felt like people could sense this confidence I was feeling because I couldnāt help but notice they were happy too, I even felt like a natural just by saying hello to the cashier.
Today at the gym was pull, which covers shoulders, back, biceps and triceps. I did more work on my shoulders than I normally would and achieved the amount of reps that I intended to do on my last set with shoulders, my muscles started to feel fatigued so I did a half set and rested and then did another half and decided to finish my session after this because I was happy with todayās progress which I made. I was going to do bicep curls at the end of my session but decided I had done enough, I was concerned that if I did them it might be overdoing it, and it might burn my muscles, I decided to give my muscles rest and allow a few days to recover, the muscle growth happens during this phase, Iām happy with the progress I made this week, next week Iāll be back at the gym and keeping up the grind!!! 
Day 18.
Was a productive few days off work, I helped my parents out with some tasks to make their work and lives abit easier. I took a few days off gym to allow for recovery and muscle growth, I go back tonight, its leg day for me. These past 2 days ive been back at work, this morning my alarm went off 10 minutes earlier so I can wake up earlier and get to work on time, ive been in this funk where I have been sleeping til right before starting work its going to get worse with daylight savings starting next week but somehow Iām going to figure out how to break this cycle. There is this person who ive been working with for over a year now and she was a complete stranger to me until she revealed she went on the same school bus as me when I was a kid. So this girl at work who is a few years older than me, I recently started having more conversations with her after my confidence grew, ive been getting to know her a bit better. We actually went to the same school when I was just 8 years old, we also went on the same school bus, I was real young back then and had forgotten who she was, one day we were working together and she revealed who she was and then all of a sudden memories of my childhood came flooding back and next thing I remembered who she was, I was surprised at first then was a bit overwhelmed with all of these childhood memories, but I stayed calm because I was already talking to her anyway, after that revelation I took a few days to process it until the shock had worn off. We both share something in common, I told her about my autism and she revealed she has aspergers which is a form of autism. She gets social anxiety which is something I also get aswell, so itās good she feels comfortable talking about this with me because I know what itās like to have social anxiety. Since telling her this I donāt feel as weird around her anymore, I find itās easy to talk to her. Iām happy to be friends with her since she was someone who I went to school with, I do like talking to her, but I donāt know if I want to be more than friends with her since we work at the same place and I also want to keep things professional between us.
This is the same girl you mentioned before who used to bully you?
----Yeah thatās her!
Take your time man. Its obvious to feel connected to someone after they turn out to have a lot of similarities with you. It can grow into a great friendship, and maybe a life-long companionship as well. But to have romantic connection with someone is something thatās very different. You have been alone for far too long and she is probably the first girl in a long time who is being so nice and close to you, so its obvious for you to feel that way. Both of you will understand the real nature of your relationship after you begin hanging out with others as well. By hanging out, I mean talking, knowing and understanding others. So take it easy. This is a great friendship that both of you have and I hope you guys continue to have this connection forever.
Thanks brother, I needed that
Day 21. This is the longest Iāve been since I fell off my reboot in July and things have not been easy since then all those relapses affected my mental health so bad that I almost gave up on myself, I thought about suicide at 1 point, my turning point was when I got very sick with gastroenteritis and I was locked in my room for 3 days beating my meat non-stop and it caused all these fears and felt trapped in my own demons like there was no way out, and not only that, I was induced with social anxiety and too scared to face the world which lead to frustration and I screamed like a little kid having a tantrum, I felt lost at the time since then I shifted my mindset and figured out my why which has helped, my why is what motivates me to keep going. Im currently trying to develop better habits which help me to stay my course on nofap, these include brushing my teeth, waking up earlier, cutting back on takeaways and cooking food at home, keeping my room tidy, personal hygiene, and mowing lawns etc. I find when I maintain good habits, it helps alot because im busy transmuting my sexual energy into it and gives me a sense of accomplishment, but really it all comes to being disciplined which also helps with other aspects. So today at work there were a few challenges but I still got everything which was required done and thatās all that really matters.
Very happy for you brother. Keep going strong. The world belongs to you.
Day 23. Today I transmuted alot of energy into waterblasting while listening to my favorite Playlist, tomorrow Iām going to do more waterblasting. I woke up with urges this morning after having a vivid dream of a sexual encounter, I didnāt give in, I sent my brothers on discord messages which helped me and I was so busy that I forgot about it, anyway it has been a good day.
Day 30. I am 1 month clean this is the longest Iāve been since July, prior to this streak I had been relapsing alot to the point I almost stopped trying and I didnāt care anymore, it took alot of discipline to get back up and reach a month again, and Iām proud. These past few days havenāt been easy, Im still going to the gym and still trying my best to maintain good habits which has helped, things have started to get real for me and this is the phase where most people relapse, suddenly my emotions have hit me like a ton of bricks, Iāve been feeling social anxiety and wanting to avoid things and Iāve been feeling this empty void inside me aswell which has been making me feel sad which is a trigger for me to relapse but I havenāt, because I donāt want to ive been riding through it by staying busy and doing at least 10 minutes meditation a day, today afternoon I noticed my low mood triggering me, when I noticed it I didnāt allow it to escalate I got up and I decided I donāt trust myself alone on a device when Im feeling like this, so Iām using my device where there is other people. These withdrawals are the reason I always relapse especially the empty void feeling I experience, thatās actually why I fell off 110 days in July. Anyway this is all part of the process, once I overcome these feelings I will feel like a king.