Today I had the strongest urges since I started this streak, they were so strong that I almost gave in, I didnāt try giving in but I had lots of flashbacks, I noticed myself online, thoughts were crossing my mind, that I should for thingās to search for stuff to get a buzz, I knew it was right there, I feel like I was on the verge of clicking that search bar, I managed to break the cycle there while I still could, I temporarily uninstalled fb and sc until I get myself together, social media is not a good place to be around when struggling like this, things would escalate very quickly, so I have made the right call. I had strong urges throughout the night and throughout most of today, my brain was playing lots of tricks on me such as you should go look at some things they wonāt or things such as oh, you should go home and binge on soft content for a few hours, to make things harder my brain became fogged up as if I had relapsed, temptation was so strong that things felt dull, it was my brains way of tricking me to do pmo again, I almost did end up giving in due to these strong urges, but I found a way out through the otherside unharmed, it took alot of convincing, lucky for me I was at work, I kept reminding myself every 5 minutes of the consequences throughout the day if I give in to pmo, it is no place for me, i was also transmuting my sexual energy, I kept doing this stuff until my urges subsided. Today was such a hard day, I made it through today unharmed and Iām proud of myself for not giving in.
Itās in times of hardship that we learn how strong we truly are.
Well done brother, you had a serious challenge in front of you and you didnāt give up. I want to be able to do what youāve done when that time comes for me.
Those thoughts may linger for a few days, but you have shown that you can get through them and stay clean. Remember all the benefits in your life as a result of your freedom. Stay strong 
Thanks brother, you are absolutely right!
Well brothers unfortunately I gave in to my urges today and I relapsed, If I learned anything, it is that pmo solved nothing and only brought back my guilt and shame it was not, this is a small setback which taught me a valuable lesson that I already know, it takes only 1 peek to relapse, the root trigger was loneliness, thats the main thing that stands in my way, a lot happened in recent months which helped me become a better version of myself as mentioned, I got closure with my ex and moved on, I finished my study and got certificates, there are other things such as gym and getting out of my comfort zone, and being clean from pmo is the reason for this, these positive changes will be with me forever. Some things that may have lead to this relapse included me eating junk food again, there were other factors such as alcohol and weed, the weed was a big mistake, even though it was a month ago, it is possible the side effects are still there, it is unfortunate that I relapsed, however, it was 1 mistake I made in a 3 month period, if there is anything I learned, its that there is many things I did that helped and meant I was able to reboot, this relapse hasnāt set me back completely, this is a minor setback that I will learn from and forget about, I just need to focus on the good habits that I was already in and keep up my grind.
Iām ready to get into dating now that Iāve moved on from my ex, I have installed tinder and I have some potential matches, Iām not keeping my hopes up, Iām just getting to know one of my potential matches.
Day 2.
Iām feeling proud because I got 2 certificates for some study I did, all that time and effort to do this study was worth it in the end, Iāll be able to use those on resumes if I get other jobs in the future.
Nah man I think thatās bs.
Youāre working on yourself and improving in life. Nofap is just one aspect, which honestly you even forget about once you reach a certain point. Donāt give it all the credit. Sure, it helps I donāt disagree with that. But Iād recommend avoiding that mindset since itāll kill you during urges and post relapse.
PMO isnāt just an addiction, remember, itās a symptom. A symptom of a life thatās not fulfilled and that is ruled by comfort. PMO is just the sign of the disease of a meaningless living, and it dies in the light of meaning.
Nofap doesnāt improve your life. But improving your life includes nofap.
Iāve made this video so I remember how I felt after relapsing.
Day 4.
I fell off nofap earlier in the week, but 1 good thing that came out of this I learned a valuable lesson from this and was able to figure out where it all went wrong, the root of this was loneliness, there were other things such poor health choices and stress I started eating lots of junk made other poor choices such as alcohol it induced negative thoughts, prior to my setback I was stress with things involving my parents, I could have have handled it better, another good thing is, I did not binge, I got right back up, and did some reflecting, pmo didnāt solve anything it only brought back shame guilt and anxiety, I affected my self esteem and and confidence a little, but I saw this as 1 mistake I made in 3 months, I bounced back and continued my daily habits that I had been doing when I had rebooted, this is 1 mistake I made, I could have fallen on a downward spiral and binged, but I got right back up instead and things have gone back to how they were when I had rebooted, my main focus is to keep up the grind and maintain my good habits.
I have made poor choices in the past and made many mistakes including today, but Iām not ready to give up, I have a whole life ahead of, earlier today, I made poor choices, I relapsed 3 times, I snapped and was ready to leave the forum, I took a few hours to calm down as I was in a bad way, it has been nearly 5 years since I was hooked on pmo, 5 years of getting back and falling, but I have just had enough of falling into pmo, if I left this forum pmo would have won. Iām not giving up, I am 21 years old and I want to live the life that I deserve without pmo, my biggest desire is fall in love and have children of my own and pass on my genes, I have other desires but falling in love is what I really want out of everything, but to do that I have to make real positive changes, this canāt happen if masturbating to ā ā ā ā all, this behavior has to stop, i need to stop pmo permanently to live a better life, today was terrible but giving up on myself wonāt do anything, from this day forward I am going to commit to nofap i am going start improving myself again, the past is in the past, and forget day counts, because everyday Iām off pmo is a day I didnāt give, this is a new beginning right here right now, with this new found strength I will get back out of this hole, my time in the dark is over. Hereās to new beginning, Iām going to give this my best shot possible, setback and urges are bound to happen and are to be expected.
Thank you for reading brothers, without you guys I wouldnāt be here.
This is a good video ill use it to remind myself why Iām on nofap.
Today was a quiet day, my car is at the garage getting work done, and today I was busy filling my mind with motivational and inspirational information, I spent 2 hours reading your brain on ā ā ā ā , this is the first time I have actually read it properly, it has crucial information about what excessive ā ā ā ā use can do to the brain, I managed to get out of my room and have soup for lunch, then I started to clean clutter out of my room that has been piling up for 3 weeks, I had started to let things slip before I knew it Iām behind on my own washing and Iāve been wearing the same clothes for days, it makes me look unhygienic and I feel like someone who is homeless, I also have to keep my room clean otherwise my landlord will complain that it is a mess, my room is inspected every few months to make sure everything is nice and tidy.
so on my last big streak I was 110 days last week I fell off and in the days that followed I relapsed quadruple times in 24 hours, it was a very bad day and almost gave up, but I realized that pmo wins if I give up so I got back up with a renewed mind and stronger will than ever before to quit pmo, life without this drug is way better, my life feels more fulfilled, Iām only a couple days clean at the moment, I did some thinking and realized that when I was on this big streak that there were faults on some parts which could be what lead to my recent downfall 2 things I can identify was I was suffering from loneliness despite being surrounded by people and my confidence growing, another thing is I was stuck in the past, while some of these things in the past I confronted and actually managed to close the book on some of them for good, my ex is a good example, I apologized for some things I did following breakup and it helped me move on from those mistakes, but if Iām honest I would still think about her everyday, I know that we were not getting back together, but after a few weeks I started to become obsessed with me and her becoming close friends and that soon I started driving her house every day hoping she would notice me and soon I started going to her work and even started to obsess over making friends with her colleagues and started to watch the workplace every move, I didnāt how bad my obsession was getting, it was getting to the point where connecting with others felt void and it got to a point I would only feel good when I make conversations with her colleagues. I reached a turning when I was having a conversation with my parents about my social life and including things I mentioned this was the moment I realized my obsession had got out of control, my parents helped me realize that the things Iām doing are doing more harm than good, they warned me that what Iām doing is becoming stalkerish and creepy, I realized theyāre right so I decided to stop this otherwise Iām not going to move on, so i did. But in doing this opened up a can of worms of other things in the past and spent the next few moving forward and I started to forget my ex for good this, but the only thing that continued to bother me was feeling of loneliness despite what I mentioned earlier during the next few days things became hard, and all it took was 1 trigger, 1 peak and then boom relapse. All of that is in the past now, all I can do is move forward, Iām back nofap with a a fresh mind and clean slate, Iām going make sure my mind is in the present more and leave the past in the past.
Itās good to see you analysing and reflecting on what led to the relapse and what improvements you can make for more progress and growth.
I agree, letting go of the past will really help you reach the next level.
Stay strong bro.
Itās good to see You reflecting about your experiences and so on. We can change, what we can. But things are What they are. Good luck! See You.
Thank you brothersā¦!
Day 7. Itās been a good 2 days yesterday I celebrated my grandmothers 80th, there was a big get together, lots of extended family showed and all these old people who were my grandmothers friends when she was younger, Im grateful to be able to celebrate my grandmotherās 80th there was no way I was missing my grandmotherās 80th no matter what is going on in my life there is no way Iām missing this, my grandparents are getting so old now that I want to have as many good moments with them while I still can, once my grandparents disappear I wonāt be able have anymore good times with them it will be all gone, but while they are still here I will make sure I make many good memories with them which ill remember for the rest of my life, my grandparents are partly what made me the person I am today and Iām grateful to still have them in my life, my whole extended family the love is so strong that nothing can ever break that, thats my life anchor when everything else is shit and we feel like we are losing it, that unconditional love from family is the one thing never breaks down, thatās the anchor that keeps me going, nothing else matters. These past 2 days at my nanas unmissable 80th was something special, made realize how important family is and how short life can be so its important to be there for each other and show our love and support. Thanks for reading brothers!
Day 0
Well brothers I relapsed 2 times today I am so numb that I canāt really explain how Iām feeling I know that Iām definitely feeling guilty but Iām so numb that I almost cannot notice it, I believe that I some poor choices few days prior that could have been what lead to me relapsing, a few days ago at work i was on break I was bored, so I decided to play minecraft during break which helped fill in time, but then I noticed it started to become a problem because after work I started playing minecraft again but only this time I wasted a whole afternoon on it and even missed out on a gym session because I was hooked to this game by the time I got off my phone it was already nighttime so I decided to have dinner and go to bed, the next day I played minecraft on my breaks, after work I felt like playing it again, but I didnāt give in this time, I tidied my room instead, but then before bed I got these strong urges to masturbate but I didnāt however I ended up playing minecraft again but after a short time I got off minecraft so I could go to sleep, today at work I didnāt play it because I was busy but I got strong urges did my best to keep going and keeping transmuting my sexual energy I was even reminding myself of the consequences if I give in to pmo but for some reason it didnāt seem like enough because after work I gave in to make it worse I was by myself at work and actually masturbated, it was dumb because someone could have caught me and I would be so embarrassed. It makes me wonder if Iām becoming so addicted everytime I relapse that my subconscious doesnāt care what location Iām at, this has happened in my car too, one time I was parked in front of a library beating it, I have to stop pmo before it gets worse than it already is. I was actually going to binge, but I came here instead because I still want to live life without pmo and become that better version of myself that I am when off pmo.
I always tend to play a lot of Minecraft when I have too much free time. And Iāve always noticed a relapse just around the corner. But for me, the linking between the free time ā Minecraft ā relapse was so strong that even playing the game would make me feel like I was about to relapse, if I played for too long.
Eventually Iāve deleted the game. Though I enjoy watching playthroughs on YT, I donāt play it anymore. At least, not when Iāve got work to do. Maybe some time in the future I may consider it. And this is from someone whoās been playing it since 2012.
Great decision man
Keep it up
You are product of your decision 