I have another video coming shortly, this video is called the book of nofap
This is my latest video called the Book of Nofap 
1 Like
Day 50.
Been busy with my study and stuff got the majority of it done, itās due at the end of next month, so will be busy trying to get it done, after I have finished my study, I am going to start focusing on myself alot more than I have been and work on improving other aspects of my life, with nofap and gym being my 2 foundations, they are the things push me to better myself.
4 Likes
Oh man so I went to the dairy my former gf works at I had thoughts of pussying out and choosing not to go through with it at all, but I was like fuck it and pushed through my nerves and anxiety and when I arrived at the little store, I acted super natural pretending that I was there to buy something, I saw her behind the counter and then my whole body started shaking nervously, it was very hard to control when it was my turn to pay for something at the counter, I said hello, she said hello but she didnāt notice it was me, she was quite busy serving other customers so itās understandable, after I paid she said thank you, I said thank you back, but she seemed quite busy, nevertheless I still see this as a win and I am very proud of myself. I proved myself something, I can talk to her without things being awkward like it used to be, doing this gave me closure, and for once in my life I can finally say Iām ready to move on.
8 Likes
Congratulations for half century, keep up the good fight 
4 Likes
Thank you brother!
20 characters
4 Likes
Long post!
Today was an absolute shitty day for me, I didnāt relapse, but I have been feeling down in the dumps starting yesterday I was feeling lonely and started thinking about my ex, I think I may have done something stupid without thinking first, I decided to buy a block of chocolate and write her name on it, I then went to the place she works at, she wasnāt there, so I then asked the cashier in a nervous laughing voice if she could give the chocolate block to my ex, she said yep, I said thank you, I left the store and started laughing nervously I was full of mixed emotions and energy, as I was about to leave in my car, I noticed the girl ringing my ex I started laughing and left in my car, when I left, my ex actually showed up to investigate she didnāt know it was me, unless she looked at the security cameras 
, I then had a while to think, and maybe I wish I had of thought about it first, that thoughtful thing I did, she doesnāt know who it was that gave her this chocolate, she is probably thinking some random guy is stalking her, Iām thinking if whether or not I should have wrote who it from, but itās fine, we all make mistakes, I am very young and am still learning about love, I spent all of last night and today thinking about her because even though it has been 7 years I still think about her and really want to get back in touch with her but I donāt know how, I know some say donāt get back with exes but this particular ex I was the one who broke up her, it was via text I was young, dumb and going through puberty, we didnāt leave on the best terms, we stopped talking and eventually I couldnāt talk to her because I was too shy and I soon got all hung up about it and things escalated on a downward spiral and I started turning to pmo for comfort, but now that Iām healing from pmo, all the roots of my pmo addiction that I have been numbing out for years have become quite apparent, I have to find a way to confront them one way or another even if that means me being vulnerable, now with this ex of mine who I am still in love with, I thought I had finally moved on from her because for 4 years I would hardly think about her and was spending all of this time trying to quit pmo addiction, but then I started having these dreams about her, I thought hmm wonder how she is, and I got on with my day, but then I started seeing her randomly but I couldnāt bring myself to talk to her and thatās when I started to wonder if I was really over her I started thinking about her alot and said to myself I should say hello next time I see her, I then inadvertently find out from someone where she works, I decided to say hello but she was so busy that she didnāt even know it was me, I went a week later and a different cashier served me, she looked at me and I think this time she saw me, I left the store and I briefly looked back, she looked at me too, then the next day I was feeling hyper confident and thatās when the chocolate thing happenedā:joy:, I donāt expect her to feel the same way about me, but all I want is to have a meaningful conversation with her and catch up with her, I didnāt get that when we were in a relationship I was so shy back then, that we would just text each other instead of talking in person, thats all I ever want
I spent the majority of today processing everything going on in my head, and being down in the dumps, I almost ended up wanting to giving in but I didnāt because Iāve come so far, and this is the longest Iāve been since last year and there is no way Iām going back to that shithole again, I lost 4 years that I will never get back because of pmo, I am finally getting out of it, I believe that this pmo addiction all started because I couldnāt get over my ex, no one is to blame, but I was the one who went on this downward spiral, I wasnāt to know, we all mistakes, I am grateful though because those mistakes are what shaped me into who I am today, all the self improvement and the endless efforts to quit pmo, and now Iām confronting the roots, including my ex and my adhd and autism, I believe confronting these issues, are what I need to help me heal and get closure.
In this post I am being as vulnerable as I can, because being vulnerable is how we heal.
Thanks for reading guys, sorry for all the baggage!
3 Likes
You are 20 and 7 years ago you haves girlfriend now she is your ex .
You had a GF at 13 
3 Likes
Iām actually 21 will be 22 this year , I had just turned 15 when me and her started dating her, but yeah I was very young when I started dating her, she was actually the one that had a crush on me back in high school, no girl like that had ever had a crush on me before, she was a first I didnāt have a crush on anyone at the time, but when I found out from her friends that she had a crush on me, I was reluctant at first, and she even denied it but I soon realized her friends were actually telling the truth, I decided to go along with it and see where it leads, we would text each other alot, sometimes we would hug, me and her would both get real shy, we became like the cutest couple in the whole school, unfortunately summer holidays happened, we lost touch for a while and I broke up with her, big mistake, because months later I really did develop feelings for her, only this time I couldnāt figure out how to get back with her, it was like karma getting back for dumping her via text, she didnāt seem upset, but she probably was, I had gone and hurt her feelings without realizing.
1 Like
Just stop thinking about past regrets start a new start .
3 Likes
Well done for staying strong today and not going back to hell. Thereās nothing good for you back there.
Itās hard, brother. I watched your video about the situation and how you broke up. Itās a painful issue that brings up feelings of regret.
There may be some good in having a conversation with her, perhaps getting some closure about the relationship, but donāt set yourself up for failure by thinking something more will come of it. It has been many years since you broke up. Youāre both different people now. You donāt want to get your hopes up about something deeper than a friendly conversation, that will just cause more pain. Sheās not the only girl who will ever be interested in you, and you know better this time around, you have learned from the mistakes of the past and can have a better relationship with someone else in the future.
3 Likes
Thank you bro, she actually told me this morning that she is not interested, and I respect that 100%, I then told her everything that I have been going through and all the regrets I have struggled with all of these years, I even told her how sorry I am for breaking up with her in the first place and all the hurt I had put her through at the time, I also told her about some positive changes ive made in my life and how I hope one day me and her can be civil about things and still be friends, I had tell her otherwise I would spend the rest of my life thinking about the hurt I had caused, I feel much better now!
5 Likes
Thatās awesome bro, really glad to hear that mate
3 Likes
Day 60.
This is the longest I have been since last year when I had last rebooted, going this far especially the lead up to 2 months has been hard I would always lose to my emotions or wasnāt paying attention to my triggers because I believed I was in control, but after my last relapsed 4 times was probably my darkest day on my whole journey I had milked myself completely dry, took me 3 weeks to start feeling good about myself, only this time I was done being the guy who would avoid challenging situations or social interactions, I was so caught up in pmo that I didnāt actually realize it, since then I have been working real hard trying to get out of my comfort zone and I have to say, I am very proud of my efforts, my brain will always trick me and tell me to stay in my comfort zone, but Iāve had enough regrets in the past, so I have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone no matter how hard it is, these are some good efforts which Iām proud, these past few days have been quite interesting, my brain decided to challenge me with some very big hurdles, this was a chance to prove how committed I really am, these were some tough days, my mood actually went below baseline and had some negative thoughts, these negative thoughts could have been what ended my streak, but no, I held on as long as I could, it almost tried to take me down, but I fought despite this negativity, I wasnāt going to let it take me down again, so I decided to be with the negative thoughts no matter how hard they were, and I even reached out, because I couldnāt deal with it alone anymore, doing that I decided to get some sleep and talk to that girl the next day, I didnāt need to though because she text me to say sheās not interested, and I realized that this was my chance to tell her everything, im glad I did because I got alot of weight off my chest that I had been bottling up and numbing for years, for the first time since the break up, I was able to start grieving properly, I let my emotions do their thing, listened to music about dealing with grief and I let myself cry after this I felt so much better and decided its time to start moving on, I told myself there are plenty other fish in the sea, I then went home to do some study, completed a unit and handed it in, I got 2 more units to complete and then I will get a graduation certificate, after this I went to the gym, the place I love more than anything, also being around other brothers at the gym who are very encouraging made me feel better, I used all of that negative energy and used it as drive to push me harder until I couldnāt push anymore, I was very proud of my efforts from here on forward my main focus is me and Iām going to keep pushing with my self improvement im also going to keep pushing out of my comfort zone. Thanks guys for all the support, you guys really helped me when I was really struggling, so I am very grateful to be here posting my achievement.
5 Likes
Day 62.
Iāve been focusing on myself more, im almost finished my study and the gym, Iāve been impressed with my efforts and ive been working on my social skills, thats an important one for nofap, when you are alone, you are more likely to relapse, social interactions are very important. Me and that girl are talking again, she has no interest in pursuing a relationship and thatās fine, me and her have been texting each other and we have been having conversations about our lives, itās fair to say both of us have grown up, and we are both headed in the right direction
3 Likes
Really proud of you man, youāve made fantastic progress this year and turned things around for yourself. Facing your fears and conquering your emotions is inspiring, Iām learning from you 
My emotions have gotten the better of me many times in the past. Keep up the positive habits and the growth, consistency will get you far 
2 Likes
Thanks bro I will do!
2 Likes
Long post
Potential Trigger: showing signs of weakness and being caught up in some recent events during my vacation.
Date: 12/6/24
Root Cause: Social interactions with a group of people a few days prior including Alcohol, weed and Social media.
Emotional Triggers: Loneliness, depression, anxiety, boredom, stress, brain fog, etc
Description: So a few days ago I decided to go on a 2 day vacation/road trip to some destinations I had been planning for the past month, I knew this would be a trip worth taking and it would be a great chance to go site seeing while driving my car and have social interactions with people who I have never met before, just before my trip I had finally reached 2 months again after many failed attempts, not only that, there were also issues involving my ex, and I realized this trip is exactly what I needed, it would be a chance to forget about her and do what I actually intend to do on this trip, that day I left at 10am and traveled 2 hours to a ghost town, the roads I was traveling soon turned to gravel and then there were some hills which I traveled through, this was the part I found quite fun, most people donāt travel these kind of roads because of how far away from civilization they are and help is miles away if something went wrong, but I was putting myself first and giving myself some challenges to face despite the risks, it wasnāt long before I arrived at the ghost town in the middle of nowhere, there were no shops here, only empty buildings and a club which cooks food and serves drinks later in the day, in this town there were alot of houses that people live in and because of the way the town is people know each other quite well, unlike towns which are quite civilized, the know nearly everything that happens in the area and when someone who theyāve never seen around this town before arrives and sticks around for a while, then they are quick to notice. This ghost town that I decided to stay at for the night, I noticed this community hall with an increasing group of people arriving and there were kids as well, I didnāt really take notice at first, because I was more focused on my quest of exploring the town on foot and learning about the history of this town, after exploring most of the area, I was just enjoying a few more walks around the area, the party was still active and I noticed these people staring at me but I kept walking and doing my thing, I soon decided to park my car somewhere for the night, and decided to rest for a few hours until it got dark and I was ready for potential interactions, while I was resting, these vehicles were driving past and noticed me parked here as if they have never seen me before, when it was dark enough I walked to the local club, had a meal and a drink, noone was there except for this local older guy who asked where Iām from and what brings me here I told him where im from and reasons, he initially thought I was coming here for work, I told him I was traveling, we talked for a bit and then his wife rung for him to come home, I then finished my food and drink and went back to my car to sleep, after a while I realized it was too early to sleep so I decided to go for another walk and see if those group of people were still at that place, they were still there and as I was walking, they asked if I want something to eat, at first I was reluctant, but then I was like ok, I then approached the group and next thing I know Iām suddenly having conversations with people ive never even met before, initially I was quite shy to begin with and no intention of staying long, but soon I came around after a few drinks and conversations people were asking where Iām from and why Iām I told them my version of events and this girl my age asked if Iām single, I said yes, she then took a photo of me and me with my mullet hairstyle showing, she tells me about this girl who is single and sends the photos to her according to this girl she claims that the girl she sent to secretly admires me, she even gave me her name and address for if I visit this place again, I spent most of the night mingling with people, there were these other guys who could tell Iām hiding something and thatās the most obvious reason why Iām here, they asked me if it was because of problems back at home, I denied it at first, but then I told them the truth, about why Iām here, these including things like my ex and life back at home he then talked to me how this is normal and that me putting myself first was a very good thing, he then told me he could tell I was hiding something and the way I was walking around the town during the day gave something away itās as if I was supposed to meet these people, like the universe was trying to tell me something. As the night got later, people were drunk, I had a few to drink, but I was still ok, itās was when a group of us including me smoked some weed that I had to sit down I was tired, I had another rest and joined the group again and every time a person would look at me, I started laughing uncontrollably, I had to go rest again to calm down then I started having conversations, I didnāt realize what I was saying but I was too busy having a good time, because times like these are very rare for me, but as the night drew to a close everyone started to go quieter and quieter, like our brains were resetting, when the night was over and I started to sober up a bit people were leaving and we were all saying goodbye, people shook my hand and said it was very nice meeting me, I said the same thing to them, I had such a good time despite the weed and alcohol, and was the best time ive had since my birthday last year I actually told the group that I will visit this place again because you are all so awesome, some good things came from this, I got someoneās number and a girlās address from another girl who I was having a conversation with, fuck yeah this is awesome I thinking in my head. I went to sleep, woke the next day, helped the group to clean up the party, this is the least I could do after they let me hang out with them, after we finished cleaning up, everyone went home and I thanked everyone for the good time I had last night, I said goodbye and left to continue my vacation, I was happy I had such a good time, but I was also sad because now I have to leave this group of people who Iāve only just met, I couldnāt stop thinking about it, all I was thinking was that I wanna hang out with these people again, I thought about turning around at one point, but I had already planned the rest of the trip before this interaction and it was too late to change plans because I had already booked accommodation and stuff, and costs more money to cancel I did the very best I could to enjoy the rest of the trip I did, but in the back of my head I was still thinking about the night before, no matter what I would do I couldnāt stop when I arrived at this next place to spend the night, I was looking for social interactions there as well, but it wasnāt the same, I did my best to listen to what they were saying in hopes it would spark a few words out of me, which is usually my way of getting a conversation rolling, but I just wasnāt feeling it, so had dinner, thanked the staff and went to sleep for the night, the next morning the restaurant was closed but was open for those who were staying, the staff made me bacon and eggs and had a small conversation and then I thanked them and I checked out, I then made my 2 hour trip back home, I was sad that my trip was over because it meant going back to reality and civilization, these past few days I had a few bad habits, I was eating some junk, I was still thinking about the social interactions, and instead of using social media to post my achievements I was impulsively using it to look for the people I had been hanging with and add them as friends I was on there for hours, and this induced thoughts of anxiety, Loneliness, boredom, and depression etc. I didnāt realize what I was doing to myself until today, I was still doing the same thing, was still thinking about it and then I realized that the longer Iām on FB and I spend thinking about my encounter, the closer/more likely I get to relapsing, especially all the thirst traps you can come across, and if I relapse things only get worse and social interactions becomes way harder but there is much more to lose than that, I just have to move on, itās for the best, if anything Iām very proud, I will visit them again when the time is right, but in the meantime I will focus on me. Thanks for reading guys!
4 Likes
These cherry blossom trees only blossom for 2 weeks out of the year, but itās a beautiful sight when they do.
Treat that experience in the same way. Like you said, it felt like the Universe wanted you to have that experience and meet them. If youāre meant to meet those people again, it will happen. Focus on the good memories you built there and move forward. Appreciate it but donāt try to force things or hold onto it.
Donāt cry because itās over. Smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss
9 Likes
Thank you so much bro! I will do!
2 Likes