My P story
Hey brothers/sisters , it was like last week of april 2019,i fapped for the very first time, i was jerking for more than 30 minutes and then i ejaculated for the first time. I was 12 that time now i am 14 years old:pensive:. Back in 2015 i was in class 4 , i searched for haldi ghati (to know about it) , i was watching that video then suddenly i saw a recommendation of a video, then i wanted more so i searched for that kind of girls on google and i opened website and saw girls having DK in their mouth, i was like eww, then i watched video of girls stripping their clothes off and i liked that watched for more than 3 hours that day . Then my father seen all the searches and the website (idk how he saw i deleted every search, but the website flashing on the top and i used all the net pack of that day or month i dont remember ). After someday my friends told me about i searched it and i watched photos and started searching my favorite cartoons, actresses with that black word __ (till then my father forgot everything about that ) .
Then in my 5th class my father had a lyf phone with high speed internet pack for 1 year for free(jio 4g:sweat_smile:) and started to watch porn regularly and thought I will stop it after my birthday. But i didn’t, i watched cartoon P (that derived me crazy) i tried to fap but semen didn’t came out that time (jerked for 2 for 2 minutes ). Then one day i watched ‘Sultan’ movie of salman khan(i think i got emotional that time as he lost his first son and his sad story). Then i decided i won’t watch p anymore , and i did that . I watched that once in 2-3 mid of 2017 and stopped watching that shit totally. But when i was in 7 or 8 , i also rubbed my part for more than 15 minutes while bathing and semen didn’t come. But had nightfalls between the period of 2017-2019 , i was like what’s this , i was scared that time .
My PMO story
In 2019 the moment came, i was like I won’t stop until i ejaculate like the P actors, i was sweating, my palms were paining:persevere: and i stopped in between and finally after 30 or 40 minutes of rubbing my semen comes out, i was just looking at my semen that was so thick, i was surprised and happy when it came out after that ,i was feeling bad . But i wanted more so i started to do it regularly using soap while bathing. But then after 2 weeks of fapping regularly (almost twice ), i used to fap once (mostly twice) in every 3 days, i had shoulder pain and lower back pain that time, my parents were worried and my mother cried sometimes when i screamed because of pain and i recovered from it but still feel pain in my shouldets sometime(pain was really really intense really intense) . Till September i fapped once or twice every 3 days . Then in October 2019 , i started to workout and i fapped once in every 5 days.
After that i had a new year resolution for 2020 but relapsed at the start of the year, i loved a girl from the end of 2018 just for her ,from 2nd January i had a streak of 16 days. I was happy but i relapsed (she wasn’t my gf but she was my crush we used to see each other every day) i was addicted to watch her everyday and she also watched me daily at the same time in evening, she was like my motivation, whenever i fapped i wasn’t able to see her because of work this really happened with me and yeah when i relapsed at 1st jan, i saw her and promised to god if i won’t fap i will see her everyday. During my 16 days streak me and she watched each other everyday twice i was very motivated, however i fapped on 17th day. After that i used to fap once in a week. Then, lockdown ruined me again i was fapping daily (and i didn’t see her during this). Then for her i controlled myself and fapped once in every 2-3 days .
After all this my birthday and diwali was about to come i had a streak of 3or 4 days, and she wasn’t coming to see me . I was really sad and my birthday came just after 1 day on 22nd November i came to know that any other proposed her and she accepted (this happened with me third time , i loved her and she also loved me but i haven’t proposed her because of my shyness will talk about it later) . I had a 1 week streak. After that i cried daily and relapsed daily.
From start of this year i did this every 1-2 days. And now i am fapping twice daily, watching p and relapsing because of sexual dreams. I am getting worse day by day. I am becoming fat again, previous year i worked hard i had good physique (but results were slow because of M) after accident(dec 2020) i came on track very harldy in February of this year but again i am not working out, becoming fat. I can’t wake up early , i procastinate.
Things i lost:
My charm and attractiveness
I haven’t grown taller since last 3 years i want to grow taller.
Lost my good physique
My will power is over now. But i will try best to have 136 days streak as my birthday present (2 weeks earlier i was about to give myself 150 days present) .
Till now i tried many things to stop fapping, i tied plastic, thread on my DK(private part) and it is really painful when my peni* erect while sleeping i cutted that thread today (i did this many times with me to stop), i used a very sticky bandage on my part to stop ( i used a whole roll), cutted there with blades, and tied rubber because of which my peni* had cuts and started to bleed and today i had a cut too because of yesterday’s thread. But i can’t control myself .
I am dying , i am a loser . Please help me @Jaskeerat, @NhTbH , @kanu, @keats , @PhysicsChampion , @TheBigSP , @rewire_user , @Samaranjay i want to get out of it . Main kya se kya ho gaya . I don’t know who am i now.