Humble Might's Journal

Thanks brother, this online world is a nasty place full of traps.

you too keep going strong!

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day 13/90:

Rainy weekend.
After how chores i am sitting now having a drink, hearing the rain fall.
I am thinking about the pointless race and competition of this “modern” world.
Obsession with the physical appearance of people and object instead of functionality.

Pointless debates on fictional characters in anime and movies, Fomo of what will happen next episode…

  1. or the what if… or how to…
  2. The 10 rules to be…
  3. the best exercises for…the perfect x… the most effective x…

and the freaking list goes on.

Going on YouTube today I saw the Trent.
The trash thumbnails hook they use to catch my interest and then spike cheap dopamine.

I am not falling anymore for that i am sticking to no videos during the week and only a few on weekends.
this has brought great peace of mind and productivity to me these days.
The urge is there but I am moving forward.
in expectation for the days when the urge will be nothing but a memory, or so weak that each time It shows up I will say: “i was expecting a challenge” and squash the fake trash.

Journalling is really helping me push true.
The urge to ■■■■ and cheap dopamine is there but I am pushing away every day and night with discipline and resolve so far.

The Detox goes on with force for I am in control.
I am a warrior not a slave to ■■■■ or cheap dopamine and fake digital media/ videos.

I live in the world not on a screen.

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Discipline is my ally.

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Amazing journey bro, keep it going, you deserve everything in this world!

My problem was with f*cking twitter, i used to spend literally the whole day in that app, from twitter to p0rn, and from p0rn to twitter.

I dont have much of an addiction to youtube, i use it for audiobooks, meditation videos, law of attraction videos…

Is it still harmful if i watch a few random yt vids at the end of the day when i finished all my tasks??

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Hi, thanks brother,

Yes, many social media twittery, FB are dopamine spikers to hook us just like ■■■■ and then make us addict.
We must limit or abstain to break free; I see no other way.

I am fighting the YouTube those “what if, how to videos…” recently I realized the nasty trap to suck our time in it by them. but since abstaining from all kinds of videos during the week this I feel more at peace and is helping strengthen my will against po0rn urge also.

But you do not have addiction to YouTube like me, so a few videos at the end of the day should be no problem.

Just finish your disciplines first.

Wish you all the best Steve, keep going strong!

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Day 14/90

14 day I knew I could do.
Same way I can keep going, one day at a time.
low urges but, not looking back focus is on the goal on freedom from ■■■■ forever.

The big companies online use the internet in demonic ways.
They use dopamine spikers to draw thousands of us in.
Videos or motion pictures are very addictive to the young mind.

After this “curse” has been laid on us, to only way out is to abstain and break free with iron will and discipline that’s how I see it.

Lets go 1 day at a time, climbing out of the valley.
Its me vs the addiction/curse and i am stronger.
I live in the real world, not on a fake screen!

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1 Peter 5:8 (KJV) Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

The internet is of the devil, just be careful at what you look at. These big companies do use it for there own pleasure and they want the world to follow them. This is the reason why when all of us start young at watching ■■■■ it is hard to break away.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJV) There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

This is only a common mistake that we fall into but God offers a way out of this ■■■■ addiction. Just take each day to pray for deliverance. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved. God bless you Brother.

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day 15/90

a new week eager to start my discipline.

The urge of the darkside came telling me to surrender with sweet words of comfort and pleasure.

but I brushed it aside.

Discipline lifts me up while fake trash of ■■■■ brings me down.
Discipline strengthens me, while ■■■■ is fake masked digital poison that enslaves me.

This is my conviction discipline is my ally, with it I move, I push forward relentless on my journey.
Breaking the cycle, breaking free from the slavery.

This is for me alone, it’s me vs me.
People can motivate me but i walk the path I do it for me and no one else.
with or without I move relentlessly forward.

if I fall its fighting.

No PMO keeping eyes, mind and action clean and controlled.
I am a Jedi warrior, i rise above, not a slave that lays down on command.

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day 16/90

Keeping away from videos is really helping.

I am feeling more alert. more in the now.

That itch is still lingering there, but refuse it again today. I know its nothing but trash.

I realized in this journey the eyes are the window of the mind; the mind is fed through my eyes.

As long as I keep my eyes free from the trash of ■■■■ I’m making progress.

Standing my ground with discipline and resolve.

image

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Be strong don’t give up. Just keep fighting this and you will be much stronger. Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope.

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day 17/90

Up and ready to go.
Some urges again today but I pushed back.

I feel more clarity and have been thinking.

videos not just ■■■■ are the bane of society.

I mean those motion pictures are influencing thousands of minds daily.
how many thoughts in your mind are truly yours? or injected by videos on social media, adds and other stuff?
Being bombarded daily, drinking those images through our eyes?

These days with very limited videos and no ■■■■, are really helping me think clearly.

How much clean and serene where the mind of people in the past before all this trash started? depression, low self-esteem, anxiety are rampant in today’s modern age,
trash videos not just P0rn are mayor culprits in this.
they cloud our thoughts with lust and other trash and bring us down in exchange for fake pleasure, cheap dopamine.

I push forward, in the light side the trash is receding, and clear mind is coming.
I am starting to really think for myself
thank you, lord.

the urge is still lingering to tap in the darkside, but I feel i am regaining control.

time to go to work.

day 18/90

This morning there was no electricity.
But because my routine focuses on outdoor activities, and I always use my pc for browsing it was not much of a deal.

was kind of cool actually.
Did not panic or feel anxious or nothing simply went on dressed up n on to work.

Real world beats the internet 10 to 1 always. (Internet only good for information and research more or less, but its getting worse as more and more deceptive information is spread online to.)

day 19/90

■■■■ with all its multitude of fake variants was begging me to surrender to the dark side this morning with the habitual urge,
But I stood my ground again with resolve.
I fell many times before, that painful memory of how shit it felt fueled me forward today.

It’s getting weaker and really, I feel more in control.

today I can watch youtube and netflix so i will do it after doing house chores and going for groceries.

The light side is my force discipline is my ally.

A fight, i am ready! I am stronger than the trash of ■■■■!

After getting the house clean as i planned i sat and watched some YouTube and then I decided to take a quick look on fb anyway,

Wel caught me doom scrolling after about 20 minutes.
the dopamine hit there is really fast. saw a “hot” video clip passing of people doing a pool party men and woman dancing in swim wear and drinking.

But after few seconds I just closed the damn app and went outside in the garden.
It did not really trigger me, I just shrug it off as waste of time, watching men and woman posting fake videos of “how much fun they are supposedly having” exhibiting their bodies… just fake. they are also actually caught in the net like many: looking for likes and external validation nowadays.

Soon it will be 3 weeks. I feel the detox is going well. i still need to push myself but it’s getting easier. I feel a drive right now from within to do more than sitting and watching shit on the internet.

I will prepare and eat dinner now, watch some netflix at night and then lights out.

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day 20/90

Nothing special to report, pushing forward.

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Respect that self control
My damn subconscious mind always gets me
Keep breaking the shackles

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Thanks for the motivation brother.

It’s still hard but, moving forward.

We all can make it; we are stronger than the trash of ■■■■.

The weekend is over almost time to sleep.
but first I will journal my thoughts.

I read this weekend that negative emotions like anger, greed, lust and false pride cloud understanding and can drive us to do wrong things and choices.
How many times has ■■■■ not spiked my lust and driven me to do the deed that left me feeling empty or full of shame and disgust afterwards?
or anger and pride made me say or do mean things to others?

That is the dark side, easy and seductive urging me to surrender.
Tapping in it feels strong or pleasurable but its false illusion. fake dopamine just like ■■■■, in return we become enslaved to them. (Slave to anger lust etc…)
The lord says in Gita and in many books this, I see it is so indeed.

Let my resolve be a powerful drill that breaks through.
human will/spirit is harder than diamond when we focus.

It requires strength to resist, the strong follow the light side, the weak tap on purpose in the Darkside.

If I fall it will be fighting, not by yielding.
for I am a warrior.
Lord has shown me the path of discipline.

In discipline there strength, in discipline strength builds.

Discipline is my ally.

I am a warrior, not a slave.

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day 21/90

Monday morning.
low urges that i brushed off.

Pleasure and video windows are closed till next weekend:
Netflix = X
Youtube = X or max of 3 videos.
Fb and other video sites = X

Stop feeding my mind with motion pictures really makes a difference.

The journey towards freedom, towards a better me continues.

I live in the real world, not the digital fake world.

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day 22/90

No PMO, It’s a choice, but a firm choice.
For me, for yourself and no one else.

Back from my morning walk.
Having fun doing simple things in life.

Discipline and resolve is my ally.

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Day 23/90

Early morning and night the urge comes knocking.

Besides this when I’m idle it also tries but weakly
Knowing this I’m ready with discipline on my side.

Staying busy is the way I conquer the trash of ■■■■ and all others.

As I continue on this journey,
I am contending not with others.
That is shallow that is easy.
The debates and drama we see online in forums and fandoms and sports fanatical competitions needless comparison for ego, fleeting fame and pride’s sake are superficial and external leads often to Jealousy, hate few are truly healthy and mature nowadays. they are a waste of time compared to true victory over the one…

The mightiest opponent.

I content against myself to grow stronger. With my mind and habits.
I help and share generously not compete for ego’s sake.
Thats not the Jedi way, but the Dark side.

I am grateful for the lessons learned helping me build a better me step by step.

If I fall its fighting!

A warrior in the real world, not a slave to ■■■■ and trash.