Hubinho's Diary

I cut skin on my finger, got it sewn up, and now got stitches for 2 weeks. I’m unable to workout. It’s hrd as it was the necessary thing that helped me to be productive.
I need to be in shape asap. In 50 days I run halfmarathon and in 40 days I start karate or boxing classes.

The most important now, I left chaser effect. Now building my greatness.

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If you’ve just hurt your finger, you can still go on a run, if you feel like.

True. I’m going to start today.
I can’t focus. I have much work to do on pc. Mind keeps saying to open porn :frowning:

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Relapsed again yesterday. That’s sad. I was building my new self again, making plans, adding daily chores, doing stuff. And then suddenly yesterday I was home alone. That sucks.
All of my motivation, my achievements, my plans ruined.
For me it was same mistake as always. When all is going good, I tend to forget about basics. bout making plan of the day the day before, about working out schedule, about prayers.
Back to the day 0. Let’s go! I can win finally.

I’m good. Finally people are all around me. I have meetings with old and new colleagues all the time. It feels great. I was at home in the village for last 2 months and really missed people. There’s not much time left for working, but it’s just the first week of studies, few more days and we all will be working.

Only bad thing is that my penis wasn’t hard for 5 days. Maybe because I was edging too long when relapsed last time. I will give him one more week and I hope to wake up with morning erection.

And what was the most important recently, my first date with new girl. Task failed succesfully. I mean I got tickets to the theater and she forgot what time and was late. I couldn’t contact her so I entered to the theater alone. She was waiting for me all that time in the cafe close by, seems like her mistake was a big deal for her. We met after theater, she was so apologising. And at the end we had awesome evening. We are registering for the dance lessons as a couple and we decided to meet much more often.
I’m so proud of myself. It was enough to stop simping. I just changed my thinking, that I deserve to be with the best girl that I know. And here it is.

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Dick works :slight_smile: I had mornign erection and even wet dream.

Realtionship with girl is getting serious. We meet quite often. It makes me happy. I overcome porn and I deserve happiness.

Studying sucks recently. My pc broke down and I lost loads of time and some data :frowning:

I’m happy. My streak just crossed 3 weeks. The girl is chatting me everyday. We can’t meet as she’s ill now. I finished halfmarathon, I run quite often. I finally can work, just sit in front of my pc and learn coding. My self confidence is awesome, I can do whatever I want and I feel good about myself.

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No matter what is the question. The answer is NoFap.

I can’t find enough intimacy to write here regularly. So just small summary of how my life is going.

I have a job in electronics :slight_smile: Just accidentaly. Friend of friend of friend of my friend told him that the company he works for is looking for electronics engineer. The ad about position was covered so good on their website. I guess I was the only candidate. And they offered me 150% of salary that I wanted. Tomorrow is my first day at work. On the one hand I can say goodbye to my free time as I will have work and university now. On the other hand dreams come true. Job in my profession and quite big money.

In the next few days I will talk to the girl if we are officially a couple. We meet very, very often. And we chat all the time when we can’t meet. I think that touching is the next step. It’s hard now as it’s cold outside and inside we only talk or dance. I wish I could grab her hand when we walk. I will do it and I promise it won’t be awkward.

I had very strong urges during this longer weekend. I did nothing. Now it will be tough time at university. Porn sucks and is making my studies difficult. Porn is no more in my life. I want to be free. I’m free.

This is the best year of my life. I gained self confidence, I finished degree, I got a gf, I finished half marathon, I got a job. The only thing is that I imagined it different way. I thought I will study programming a lot, go through difficult recrutation and get a job in programming. Instead I got job without trying and without any progtamming skills.
I got a gf without picking her up, without making good impression. She just showed her interest in me one day and then she was very patient for me making every step to develop our relationship. She’s 2 years older than me. She seems mature and knows what she wants from life. If she’s interested in me and is patient, then it’s definitely for real. I can’t screw it.

I can’t understand why God is giving me all these blessings this year. I feel like I haven’t really earned it.

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:joy::joy::joy::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: Wtf .
:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::rofl:
I can’t stop laughing.

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Nice bro. Congrats on all these amazing gifts and achievements.really happy for you. :+1::+1:

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Bruh that’s amazing :fire:
Just reading this made me happy. Appreciate what you’ve got now. Happy for you.

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Thank you @pingpong1 @Samaranjay It means a lot to me :blush: :blush: :blush:

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As last time, short summary of how things are going.

Last 3 weeks were the toughest in my life. I have been sleeping for 3-4 hours daily. I had mass of things to do for university. My productivity was lower and lower each day as I was in lack of sleep. Mid semester exams and projects. And that’s the time when I started job :smiley: It was hard.
Before I started job, I had more free time so I signed in for some courses like standard dance, disco dance, boxing… and was about to start karate too. Now I’m wreck of human and need a lot of sleep. Today I skipped dance class and christmas party after, I just can’t, I’m exhausted.

There’s one thing that keeps me happy during this period. My gf. I’m so lucky with her. In last post I said that I was going to ask her if we’re couple. I didn’t need to. I feel it. Things are so simple if both people likes each other so much. She takes me a lot of time as we meet very often, but I don’t care. It’s not wasted time, it’s time of happiness.

I was thinking if I should tell her about my addiction, as now she’s real friend of mine and is very honest with me and understanding. But second thought is that I don’t need to. People don’t care about the way that is behind you, about troubles you overcame, they only care about who you are now. And me, I’m cured from addiction. Of course, I have only 45 days in my streak. But I’m getting better from every relapse, my streaks are bigger and bigger. It’s mostly about mindset. Porn is not tempting for me. I feel disgust when I see porn. When I feel urges, I think of my gf, about how pure, beautiful and innocent she is and that I can’t hurt her by relapsing. It works for me.

I don’t have good relationships with my parents. Poor contact, no honesty, just asking about things on the phone. I haven’t been at home for almost 2 months, which is the 2nd longest time for me. I was home last weekend. They said that they see difference in my mindset, in my behavior and that they are proud of me. It was very important for me. Very important.

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I’ve had enough!
End of the semester. Test, projects, studying every night for a past few night and more than a week of such life in front of me. My eyes are closing themselves without my will. It’s extremely tough time for me. Passing subjects doesn’t go smoothly, it’s very hard now.

On the other hand I wouldn’t get that far if I was fapping. And it also gives my power to fight against all these exams and projects. I don’t have time to check this diary recently. I’m just checking the app every few days and streak is growing. It is so powerful. If I translated it correctly, I’m Grand Duke now. 90 days are coming soon.

But this time not only my self power is stronger(thanks to nofap). I had awesome time with my gf recently. Despite the fact that my thoughts are escaping to her so very often and I feel should focus on my studies instead. She’s so supportive for me. She sends me so touching, deep messages that she’s with my and she waits for me when I pass all exams. It’s very distracting, but it gives me power also.

Last time we met was the first time I told her that I love her. She didn’t reply. We continued lying in silence. On the one hand it wasn’t as expected as she didn’t answer the same. But on the other hand it’s also information. She’s always very honest about what she says and what she wants. I know these words to love someone are very powerful. I needed a lot of time to believe that I love her to say it. I was afraid it’s taking me too long. But now I see that she also cannot make it quicker. Now I now I don’t need to hurry in developing our relationship.

I stopped analyzing every word and behaviour of her very quickly. It’s the first time in months that I wondered what does it mean. I know it’s not related to nofap. I just needed to write it as it’s kinda my personal diary. Just to fre my mind and focus on studying more.

I hope I won’t die of overworking or fail any exam. I can’t take it anymore.

Be courage guys, do your chores and be proud of yourselves. We’re doing greatness!

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I can’t take it anymore. Doing project for univ whole night and I didn’t even come to bed. I thought I’d die later at work. This weekend will be crucial for my future. Pray for me or cross your fingers, please.
Tomorrow’s my 90 day of this streak :slight_smile:

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All the best for the project buddy and congrats for completing 90days :fire::fire::fire::fire:

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I am ill, exhausted, but happy!

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Congrats bro :fire::fire::fire::bouquet::bouquet::bouquet:
Many more to come

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I wanted to write a lot about all these things that happened recently. But I keep telling myself that I don’t have time for that. It’s somehow true. Exams and projects are very hard for me and I don’t have time for anything other.

I’ll skip all these events. But today. Today was the best valentine’s of my life. First time when I have a gf. Two days ago was the first time when she told me that she loves me. Today I woke up earlier to give her flowers before I go to work. I took the most beautiful bouquet of roses I found, but I feel like I give her sth worthless. That’s because I visited her after work. She gave me box full of small pieces of paper, there were thousands of them and every one had few words what she is thankful to me and what she appreciate in me. It took her days to prepare it. The last piece of paper at the bottom of the box was simply “kiss me now”. And we really kissed for the first time. Then she ordered me to go studying as there are exams ahead of me.

Guys, that wouldn’t be possible without nofap. I’m the happiest person alive.

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Woaah. Happy for you bro. I only heard this in movies. :fire::fire:

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