Hubinho's Diary

I know right, the feeling of happiness on a good streak, the feeling of being free, finding joy in small things, is just out of this world :relieved:

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Thank you @pingpong1 @Samaranjay and all others for support. These are just short messages but mean a lot for me.

Back to life. I’m kinda tired, today is the first time this year when I have some time for myself. “Some time”, yes, urges also arrived for the first time this year. Fortunately thinking about my Love was enough to beat them.

It was crazy time. Exams were only for 2 weeks as supposed. But I had also to do some projects, to pass some smaller tests, retake few of them, make upadates in projects. One exam I had to retake and I passed in the last possible chance. I passed everything and there’s the last semester of studies in front of me :slight_smile:
Straight from the last exam I went for my first business trip. I was so excited, first business trip ever and it was abroad and for whole week.
And then straight frm the trip I had to pack all my staff as me and my roommates moved from the dormitory to rented flat. And next days I was working long hours, than dancing, boxing classes. Third day in this flat and I didn’t have time to unpack yet. I only sleep here so far.
In 15 minutes I’m leaving again as today is the Ash Wednesday and I’m going with her to church.

All these things wouldn’t be possible without nofap. As I recall myself from let’s say half a year ago, I’d give uup everything, now I’m succeeding.

I hope to be more often here as exams are over.

Pray for Ukraine

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@Hubinho
Really impressed with your progress :sparkles:

Please keep progressing and keep posting…you might not know…how many people are getting inspired from your journey :fire:

All the best brother…keep moving forward :fire: :100:
Just remember to take appropriate rest…physically and mentally!

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That’s really awesome bro, I can feel these words :relieved:. Embarking on no fap journey is hands down the best decision anyone can ever make in their life.

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Thank you so much guys :blush:

I made mistake. I had longer tram ride and forgot my book, so downloaded game on my phone. This game has strong habit connection with porn for me. I mean that in the past i used to play it and watch porn simultanously. So when I started playing now I immediately got a boner and dirty thoughts. I came back to flat and started touching. Luckily, my Love wrote to me and urge gone. I uninstalled the game, spent whole day with Love and erased dirty thoughts from my memory. I’m fine in that matter.

What I’m not fine is my schedule. Everyday I leave flat at 7:15AM and come back 10-12PM. I can’t live like that, I’m almost as exhausted as during exams.
But I’m not wasting my time. I go to work, to univ lessons, lectures, dance class, boxing class, meet with love, go to chuch, cleaned previous room, did grocery. I can’t imagine what and how to delete from my schedule. My first “free time”(1h) will be on wednesday. i will think about this issue then.

I guess this was supposed to be place for diaries with motivation, fighting addiction, accountability… Mine will be more personal. I need it and doing it.

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Eeey bro, stay careful, you’ve come this far, don’t ruin your mindset just because of some urges now, you are strong and always remember how much better this streak has made you.

Bro you can share whatever you want here. It’s your diary, we’re meant to take our thoughts out here.

That seems like a balanced schedule to me, why do you wanna change it :sweat_smile:, it has a mix of exercise, social interaction, learning which sounds pretty great to me. Just aim for taking good rest between 10 pm and 7 am the time you are home and enjoy every day. But I get it, everyone requires winding down time

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I hit 180 days. First time since I was addicted I crossed half a year.
Few days later I relapsed :frowning: I was in cycle and relapsed 2 more times. Enough is enough. I’m very busy again, so no time for relapsing.

One thing I realised and made me very, very sad. My life was the best during this 6 months. When I relapsed hormones are crazy and my face is sad. Like literally, even if I feel normal, I look in the mirror and see sad face. I could ignore that, but… My gf and my friends instantly started asking “why are you so sad today?”. I can’t tell them. I need 1 week streak asap.

I miss you guys. I keep checking on you. I just don’t have time to write here.
It was my big problem recently, I was very disorganised. Changing it right now. From today it works fine.

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