Gunsblazaing's diary


#164

Yesterday-

Alright day, somehow confidence is good, the thing is I don’t want to concentrate on these stuff, I just want to focus more on my life, just watch the porgress and improve. Day by day passing and eventually rewiring my brain. I’ll keep this diary updated daily to recap my day, and express my fellings.


#165

Today.

Decent day, lacking energy, sleep more is needed I just hope I didn’t lose all my porgress. That’s it. I’m just ready to kill this addiction forever.


#166

Doing fine, was akward and had Mood swings today. Other than that I’m going strong.

Peace


#167

Can’t complain. Went outside, was more clam, had lil confidence and doing good, keeping it simple, Rewiring in the process.


#168

nice one, keep it going!


#169

Today was awesome, I had conversations with my teacher and different students, had worked on my hobby with them, they helped me and was able not to be akward; at least at the end of the day, but in the beginning it wasn’t as great. Checked out another book and ready to finish it and get on with the next one. Energy was better too.

Peace.


#170

Today was alright spent all my day at work, lil but tired but holding my own. Couple of Bad thoughts but holding my own.

Peace.


#171

Today was freaking great, I worked on my hobby the whole day and the result was so frekin good. I’ve started working on this project and I’ve done so much in these couple of days I’ve been working on it. I can’t believe how much we can do with the energy we have, but instead we decide to waste on that bullshit that’s ruins our life and does us no good.

F pmo no more.


#172

Another goddamn relpase! This is starting to become a habit. One thing led to another, furstration is main reason. I shouldn’t have let it take control over me. Going to be 10 years of P addiction and I’m still over here fapping with knowing all the consqunces. I’ll keep going. I know I should learn a lesson but I don’t see anything to learn from. Same mistakes over and over again.


#173

Laziness had control over me the whole week. I didn’t resist it too. I gave up easily I cant keep thing going. Have to fight LAZINESS it is whats making me think oh, instead of doing this and that, I can just fap and all of problems will get solved.

Wroing, effing wrong.


#174

why were you frustrated mate?


#175

Day 0 out of 10; consqunce: no prayer for 7 days.

No benefits at all. Didn’t gain anything from yesterday but trying out a new startegy that hopefully will change my life and get me out of this 10 years addiction.


#176

Day 1 of 10- consqunce: losing prayer for 7 days.
Akward today, in school can’t relate to people, still did talk today and finally solved the problem that furstrated my last time and was quite happy. Will work on my hobby and going pretty good right now with mission: kill laziness, doing everything that my lazy self oppose doing, and right now its looking pretty good. Will continue doing that.


#177

Had a problem with my project.


#178

Yesterday-

Day 2 out of 10- consqunce: no prayer for a whole week.

Today was alright, akward and tired. Had some headaches here and there, otherwise today was decent.


#179

Day 3 out of 10. Consqunce: no prayer for 7 days.

Today was really really good, I got my project done (almost) and the results are freaking great, I’ve been working on this for a week, and it’s paying off. Really good stuff. As in for my day today, it was alright, was acting weird, but, ya. Will update tommrow.


#180

Day 4 out of 10- consqunce: losing prayer for a week.

Today was pretty good, confidence was much, much better talked and feeling just a bit more Normal. kept my gaze down. That’s it.

Edit: Today in school, we have a project thingy, its like debating kind of. I was scared at first but when the actual debate started, i actually had fun, i debated and was in the spirit to actually enjoy the class. It made me happy. A really good day.


#181

Day 5 out of 10- consqunce: one week no prayer.

Today, went to work had energy, socalized and wasn’t as akward. Had some weried feelings in the lower area, still do; i just ignore it though. Just a regular day.


#182

Was either really busy or just forget about the diary. Here is what i did for the past 4 days. 1-10, - 1 week no prayer.

Day 5 out of 10- consqunce: one week no prayer.

Today, went to work had energy, socalized and wasn’t as akward. Had some weried feelings in the lower area, still do; i just ignore it though. Just a regular day.

.,…
Day 6 out of 10- consqunce; no prayer for a week.

Ok, went to work and bought some ware. Confidence is okay, akwardness level low.
…,…
Day 7 out of 10- ; consqunce: losing prayer for 7 days.
…,…,…
Day 8 out of 10- consqunce- 1 week no prayer.

Good worked on my hobby the whole day, gotta change and arrange my schedule, but this is just for today.

All good.
…,…,…,…
And yesterday
9 to 10- consqunce= no prayer for 1 week.
Went to school, getting more confident, acting normal, mostly, more realtible to other people. Other than that very ok for now.
… …
Day 10 out of 10- consqunce- can’t pray for one week.

Pretty good, didn’t stress my self over my hobby like o usually do, so today was kind of clam, other than that pretty nice day.


#183

Yesterday-
Day 11 out of 20- consqunce- 2 weeks of no prayer.

Pretty good day, worked on my hobby and felt pretty good that day, i felt genuine happiness for the first time in a while.
… … … …
Today
12 out of 20, consqunce- 2 weeks of losing prayer.
Good day, in work right now.
Been having some pretty strong urges. Going strong tho