Gunsblazaing's diary


#142

“Prayer and meditate”
You know what’s good :wink::+1:
Thanks for the golden reminder


#143

Day 23 out of 26-
Today was ok nothing remarkable was kind of akward for some reason but had confidence still. I need to stop caring about what other people think of me and live my life, still problems at home keep getting to me and make kind of depressed. Other than that energy is great have a lot of it, don’t need to sleep even when I’m tired. Other than that That’s pretty much it.

Peace

Note: I should start reading informative books, right now it’s narrative. But it’s better than no books at all.


#144

Thanks for stepping by brother, and yes Im trying to make habits of those two. They help me with my journey quite a lot actually.


#145

Day 24 out of 26-
Today was better, confidence level was quite high. I’m starting to get used to living without the addiction, though comes strangeness here and there, but I’m getting used to living like this, living the nofap life, the better life. Talking to people isn’t akward anymore, even girls, talking to them is easier and don’t feel uncomfortable like I used to. Basically things are getting better, seeing life in a better, simplified picture, I try to not see as complicated. Still need to make every moment I could usefu and productive, work on certification, practice my hobby start new hobbys, try something new. Thats my goal for now, will try my best to achive it, and then follow up with a different goal. Will make the process as productive as I could.

Peace.


#146

Day 25 out of 26- passed my previous streak yesterday, I forget to mention that. Lol.

Today was quite alright, read a book and played a video game, since I stayed home. Ate spicy food, and I knew after I eat it will make my day harder, meaning it will be harder to avoid triggers, make me horney, but I avoided that by going outside, an boy I cant tell you. It became a lot harder to Avoid triggers but tired my best, and kept my eyes down. Outside, you’ll find tons of triggers the best thing is when you see them, you ignore them, concentrate on what your doing, and get the hell out as soon as your done. That’s what I did. I usually keep spicy foods in the morning, so when night comes, everything comes back to normal and I can sleep in peace. Can’t wait to go thousands of times beyond my previous streak.

Remember stay productive, keep your eyes off triggers, and seize the day; meaning no laziness.

Peace.


#147

Day 26 out of 26 next goal 31-
Had a wet dream this morning ( I think I don’t remember but I’m kind of 100% sure) spent morning on video games, I just had to get some stuff done spent about 1 hour, studied a new language for 30 mins then went to sleep, of course I read my book for a while. After I got up I brushed my teeth, prayed, and Cooked my self something. Tried to work on certification but got busy with something else.

That’s it will update tommrow for day 27.


#148

Day 27 out of 31-
All good, confidence is fair. Went to work, felling more alert and more satisfied with my self, accepting my self, just acting normal. Thats pretty much it.

Will update tommrow

Also had a couple of urges, but quickly noted and pushed them away.

Peace.


#149

Day 28 out of 31-
All good, today was great. Talking to randoms is easier, I don’t get irritated easily and make sure I’m treated correctly. That’s really it, today was great.

Peace.


#150

Day 29 out of 31- 1 day untill 1 month baby!
Today was alright, was little depressed for some reason played video games read a book and finished it. Had little sleep that may be the reaosn. Anyways right now doing great prayed anf will meditate.

Peace.


#151

Day 30 out of 31- 1 untill goal’s achieved. Finally hit 1 month , two more and reboot will be successful!

Today wasn’t the best day, it was okay, but not the best. I was quite akward. For some reason. Very akward. It’s like I had no confidence, it just keeps fluctuating. One day I’m full of confidence, one I’m not, and one where im in the middle. I don’t know what’s the reason behind it. Maybe because I’m still getting used to the change? , Maybe becouse I had been an addict for almost 10 years ? That’s a better one. I’ll let my body get used to the change, I’ll try to stay out of my comfort zone and push myself. Of course I’ll have good and bad days, I’ve had days where I’m full of confidence. Like I said I’ll let my body get used to the whole thing aka rebooting.

Peace.


#152

I relapsed, cant believe it omg, what have I done… Fuckin stupid. No. Fml fml fml


#155

Rise again brother :muscle:… I’m with you, you can do this :facepunch::facepunch:


#156

Rise again !
Don´t punish yourself so hard, you´re an addict, addicts relaspe some day. You have to be conscious of that. The important thing is to rise again and do a better score next time. Also, I believe 30 days is not that bad. (Im not saying that when you reach your goal, you have to go fap the next day, on the contrary, you always have to look for more)

:muscle::muscle:


#157

Back to day 0. (Out of 3)

Today was fine, I know it’s the day after the relpase which is okay. But then you get hit by a storm of the consqunces on the day after.
Nothing remarkable happened today.

Peace.


#158

Day 1 out of 3-
Akwardness, I hate all the things I’m getting right now, I’m back to these shitty days I had before. All the negatives are starting to show up and I hate it, luckly it’s not as bad because I had 30 days streak, but still very shitty situation. Will get out of it.


#159

Day 2 out of 3-

There is somthing shallow inside me, it’s like I smoked a billion cigarettes, it’s a feeling of feeling trapped. All these negatives I’m getting are really affecting me. I noticed that when I get nrevous I start to shake, don’t know why, I start shaking. I try to hide it, I try to stop it but it just keeps going. My Brain didn’t expect this to happen. When it was rewiring and then suddenly I mess up. My brain and body both got surprised by what I did and are punishing me for it


#160

Day 3 out of 3, next 7 days-
All good, in work, better mood, better energy. Day 7 is where its at, for now though I’ll focus on holding on, pushing triggers away, keeping my good habits going.

Peace.


#161

Failied, day 0 , shouldn’t have kept my devices up, shouldve turned them off.


#162

What’s worng with me? I said browsing is prouabited ? Going on it from another device, thinking it’s okay.??? What kind of dump shit are you?? Just when I was getting normal, just when I was doing good, just when I was getting my benefits… phone stays off no matter what your stupid brain says, no exucceses stupid f b.


#163

Day 0 out of dk
Woke depressed as shit, a friend on nofap group sent an doc that made me less depressed, it made me look at the relpase in another way, a more optimistic way. It made it very simple for me to accept the relpase, learn from it and move on with a better attitude. Elmaniting the reason of the relpase, also will learn to use my will power to block P will not depend on the apps. That’s how it will be even stronger and can resist much more. After all I gotta do is to Avoid anything pmo related and watch the days pass, and my brain rewiring.