Hey 
so before we start let me introduce myself my name is Nikita and I’m 19yrs old right now I’m in college and the issue is I’m an ambivert kind of person.
(hn yhi se sb prob shuru hoti hai)I was a very extrovert and life loving kind of person but when my best frnds in school left me and I saw my grades degrading I found that I should change my company and then I just started hanging out with one or two studious kids changed my routine and gradually I made it in my tenth standard I scored amazing this was when I realised how wrong I was. And I was living a smooth life one or two gud frnds studies sleep n peace 
right NO!!!
THE ACTUAL TWIST IS HERE:this is when I changed my school and I discovered tht I had problems in socializing I don’t really wanna interact with anyone I found my vibes didn’t match with anybody around hence I decided instead of being with worthless people I should be standing alone 
though this was the decision tht gave me great power and confidence but also became my reason to get struck in this shit:(
As I mentioned I didn’t really talked to anybody in classroom at so I got into social media and there I met a guy 
He was nice,sweet n rude at the same time,almost like the perfect friend I have always wanted 
we became friends when I was in 11th .he promised he’ll never let love n this shit spoil our bond and will prove to everyone tht a girl n guy can be just friends too:cat:and I was so dumb to trust him chlo the movie starts…we used to talk for hours , whenever I had any problem I would just explain him and uske pass hr chiz ka solution hota tha and this is how gradually I became so dependent on a guy who was kilometres away from me …even for solving my smallest problems 
(ek pro tip du kbhi kisi pe itna dependent bhi mt hona ki uske Jane k bad sochne smjhne ki himmat hi na rhe)
And then sb acha tha I used to think jb ye ek friend h why do I need anybody else my 12th board exams came n did well scored 94%(mere liye bahut tha …from 60%se yha tk ka safr)I used to feel like my frnd tarun in lucky for me and then came the darkest phase 
just like most other guys itna acha frnd bnne k bad after one n half year he suddenly blocked me writing long messages saying “tu bahut achi ldki hai mai tere layak ni hu mujhe apni habbit mt bna bla bla I’m getting engaged bye” and I was like wtf:neutral_face:
for a moment I didn’t understand wht was wrong with him and then I became totally lonely 
fell into this trap of watching ■■■■ masturbating not because mujhe habbit thi ya urges just because I missed the attention love which I got from him …trust me guys this was my worst phase I was never too addicted to it but these things were spoiling my mind .I felt lonely and lazy I spend days on shit apps talking to random strangers sone gud some bad .but then I decided no I have to finally get out of this nonsense and I’m here NO there’s again a twist 
And then while talking to such strangers i ended up talking to a guy who God knows why fell in love with me (online love n long distance relationship are the shit things I have ever heard of).and when he poured up his feelings to me I was afraid wht if one day I left n he feels the same way I’m feeling rn so I decided to end this chapter and start on a new life…
AND SO HERE I’M 
writing my own story ,sharing emotions and trying to be just a Lil better everyday if u can relate do tell me
One more things you aren’t lonely 
just say to uself tht u r in luv 
with the best person n that’s God:v:
Signing 
Nikita choudhary
Relatable, i thought I was the best when I was in 11th.
Guess I was wrong, there are people far better.
Dayum, I also dated someone, in 11th till the end of 12th class.
She left when i entered college, thought she was enough, she left a void. Started living alone, but for most of my life, living alone is normal ig. It was only when I dated her, i started to engage with others. Those 2 years were amazing.
So, you rejected him? Well, when my gf left me , i remember there came another girl in my life and she pulled me out of depression. I still owe her for what she did. You should not stop interacting, who knows, you might get someone good.
COVID times were all about Omegle and e-dating ig (now it’s banned, good 
)
Yea even I think such apps used to drain my energy’s leaving social media is the best decision I ever made
Damn. He got engaged? He must be much older than you then.
Anyway let it be. You are in a good place now. Take care.
Damn right. Nikita di, u can feel comfortable here. There are some females who could help u too @SwatiV is one I’ve seen @Dari
Yea he was just two years more than me but bcoz of his aggressive behaviour n some more nonsense he was engaged into his family decided to get him into any serious relationships so he mave responsibilities n he left me saying he’s getting engaged it was totally illogical but it’s ok
I’ll surely luv to connect to like minded PPL tnqh
DAY 13 ON THE APP🙂
Everything is okay …i think I took a right decision of joining this community life is going pretty well but now after conquering the first step i.e. controlling my mind n emotions it’s time to step towards a productive life .
As I’m in college so I’m doing all my preprations from my home sometimes I feel lonely and completely alone while other times I feel I’m happy all alone ,
wht is wid this chaos of emotions! Does anybody else experiences same?!do share how u combat it …
Signing
Call friends, video call
Conduct cam group meetings.
Do not stay alone. I did same mistake years ago
I got no frnds to do tht n hence I have accepted being alone plus i advice others to do same lol
You are in college, dude; make friends. While online classes are going on, you cannot do anything; you have to deal
There is a difference in being lonely and being alone. Loneliness is a psychological state where you feel you got no social life. Loneliness can affect our mental state critically. Accept your current state but don’t get comfortable with this in the long run.
Whereas Being alone is recommended. It means staying by yourself or simply just having time for yourself. Here you have friends and good social life but you haven’t forget about your own self. Your brain needs your time.
I am somewhat in a similar phase. Though I do got some good friends. But I have to stay home all day in my room for doing preparation for my exams. I also feel down many times. This is the time where our brain is asking for some social interactions. Of course it’s not possible to just go out whenever you want. We have to tell ourselves that this is happening for a purpose. And this phase will indeed end some day.
Yea I know humans r social beings n we need interaction n company but most of my classmates aren’t like I don’t feel talking to them some r busy with nonsense shits some r just into gossiping it’s better to stay all by myself just one or two besties n protect my aura
I DONT feel like making frnds anymore after getting betrayed from a school frnd n another one to whom I was dedicated to for one n half year
No more energy n trust is left for frnds
Hey nikita ! I felt what u are going through bcoz i had a crush on a boy but he left me…then in need of attention and love i got into this thing…still Im blaming him for my situation…but wanna get through it…happy atleast u made 13th day
This phase will end one day, You ain’t going to stay surrounded with people whom you don’t like always. That’s why I said that it’s also important to accept your current state because many things aren’t in your control. If you are happy by yourself, It’s great.
Just make sure you don’t make it a excuse for not trying to reach people even when you know you need to.
Don’t worry sista remember always be a giver that’s one of the best feminine quality woman 
can poses .
And if u r addicted to ■■■■ n shit just go slow try making it two days three days n then step further.
Baaki feel free to talk idk where r other girls but I’m glad I got one to discuss 
there are many girls sis,but they are not ready to talk about that
Yea even I felt tht girls hesitate talking bout their weakness n addictions instead of being supportive to each other still the community is decent one💛
I guess difficulty in finding good friends is getting little common. It was pretty long to read but I get that your male friendship grown into a relationship type of thing and you were so dependent on him.
I hope you are more self independent now. I am myself almost getting into an LDR if you feel like there’s something you can learn from my experience I am linking my post here. No issues if you don’t want to read it. I update our status whenever there’s something that happens