Tuesday 13.04.2021
Day 9
Iam not happy how this day ends, I feeld extremely lonely and depressed, my confidence went to zero. Also I think my girlfriend lost the interest on me, Sunday was perfect to meetup from last weekend but she did not msg me the whole day. Also when I send her a msg , it takes long Till she even write back, she never did that before, I feel that she isn’t interested at all. I purposely didn’t asked her on Sunday to meetup just to see if she will ask me first to hang out. No response from her and iam sure she had time so no excuses!
I made big mistakes on this Relationship , iam not the same Person as before that Relationship.
Good thing I totally understand now what I made wrong the whole time, and that is the reason why she treat me like that. I downscaled my selfvalue so much just to be a „nice guy“ that she took over the masculine role in our Relationship.
Also i learned what „shit talking“ means thanks for the Tipp @anon65589122 .
So far so good, still i msg her today and asked - if everything is ok and if not she can tell me?
I admit the msg about asking what’s going on was useless, I may put more gasoline into the fire by that, but I couldn’t hold back that question
Thoughts
-
is it possible for me to take over the masculine role again since I messed it up so much?
-
How long will it take for me to stop Overthinking everything so I can finally relax from my thoughts .
-
Should I start give a Damn and just looking for myself ? Is that what I seek?
Iam not expecting a big reaction from her about the msg what’s going on. I basically failed the „shit test“ there with my msg. I will react calm no matter what she will say, also I learn so much about being alpha that I will never ever do the same dumb mistakes, I just hope it’s not to late for me to Change her Perspective on me. From now on I will not asked her anymore to hang out, no park walking, no how is your Day? Iam focused on myself again, work on me. If she is the Woman who loves me too, then she will search contact to me , not opposite all the time. I will take my selfvalue back , and if that means I lose her then it is like that One thing is clear I don’t wanna play this stupid games anymore iam really tired of it.
Rules for myself
- Selfvalue
- Confidence
- Angry Management
- Stop the Fucking chasing
- Stay to my words
- bring back the Good times
Last but not least DO SOMETHING!
Long way to go but I finally got a lot answers to my questions, time to change.