I did the right thing with sending the card , I just saw she unblocked me in WhatsApp iam so happy about that I can’t tell in words, that means she does care for us!
I will take it easy for now, also my friend said I should try being cool more if she try’s triggering me so we and up in Disput. He is right iam easily triggered by small things , for example the profilpicture story I had with her . Now I know it was just a picture nothing naked or smth dunno why I reacted so dumb on that. Anyways today see me being unblocked is the best feel I could get😊.
Let’s see what happens , for now sleeping
Ps: iam happy but still wanna Disziplin myself to work on „my own“ problems first and if I forget myself somehow please brothers remind me , that’s my main goal!
Got up fairly early today but struggling to sleep early. Trying to get this fixed day by day. The weather was shiny and warm it was awesome. I went to the park for a walk instead of playing games. Overall I can’t blame anything right now, I don’t have urges, may slide into flatline who knows. There was a lot emotional stuff going on in this month for me may that’s the reason why I don’t have urges or feeling not interested in sexuall things. Depression was atleast for today on a very low level , I feel rested and good , the sunshine gave me good vibes . I try to go out again every day just to get myself moving. Plans for tomorrow, since the weather is so nice I will buy inline Skates, it makes fun and bring me back to sport. Hope they not to expensive need to look .
Thats good bro. Now, don’t do anything in haste, again. Her unblocking you is a good sign that she wants to be in touch with you . And try to be less sensitive about small things bro. From her actions, I feel that you are not the only over-sensitive person there, and having 2 extra sensitive people in a relationship is always difficult. But you can control it. Probably saying same things in gentler ways with better words may make her understand your points. As for now, I’ll say that you start again as her friend, see if her behaviour towards you has changed, and only then take any decision regarding moving forward with this relationship (which is obviously not in your hands alone).
We talked today and meet up Thursday at her place. She said forget about what happend etc. I definitely need to stay calm in the future with simple things to avoid this useless disputes. For now I take it easy anyways , I told her about my rehabilitation plans cuz she asked, she likes that I will do that And even said „iam sure you will make it you are strong“ which actually surprised me to hear from her.
Also when I go on her place i will say no if she wants sex, I want to make sure she isn’t useing me for something you know. We will see how she treats me, but 100% I stay calm and don’t say something when angry , then I think we good to go.
Chaotic Day in a good way, I woke up 5am , took a shower went back into bed. I couldn’t sleep so I stand up at 6am again. Watched abit YouTube and decided to cut my hair again on the fade headsides. As this was finished i did some garden work cut the Grass and bushes I got tons of energy for pretty much everything today super nice feeling. After all was done I got back to eat and after that my energy dropped so hard that I have to rest sleep abit. But overall I was very productive today and did what I did with motivation and drive , guess iam healing !
Also urges hitted me hard today after longer time but I channel this energy into productivity then they vanish.
Its just day 16 and you are already turning your life around. Plz don’t relapse. Sometimes in midst of all the bullshit going on in life, its staying clean on nofap that lifts me up. It will help you too. Proud of u mate
Thanks brother I’ll try my best, I was long enough in the relapse cycle , so happy to overcome it. With new understanding and energy we all will beat this addiction! Fuck pmo , fuck the industry of slavery I hate them. I take my life back! Cheers
I woked up early again without alarm clock , took a shower , not ice cold but much colder then usually cuz I had urges and morning wood. That worked instant lol I highly recommend doing that! Then I went out in the garden, all I can say is there is work for days which I will use to make it more pretty there and powering myself out. My bones are hurting but it was fun. Tomorrow try cleaning the flowerbeds on the front from the house, it’s a mess I admit.
Had a small Disput with my mother cuz I cutted the fruittree to much lol and now we need to wait till next year to get fruits from it 🤦🏼
Well I didn’t know how to trim a small fruit tree can happen it will regrow with time.
Overall the weather is so dope man, its almost magnetic to go out. Iam sure that has smth to do with nofap aswell, I have crazy drive to do something doesn’t matter what. That can’t be placebo I feel good in my body and soul right now. Iam happy about how it goes and I keep myself busy cuz I don’t lie the urges are there we can’t ignore them we have to Channel this sexual energy into our life tasks and goals to become a better version of ourself. I work my ass off to get one day where I wanna be , this will be my story when Iam there! Cheers
Today I was lazy as fuck not gonna lie , my bones hurt and muscle pain. Think I was going to far with the garden work , gonna slow down abit now till my body catches up on resting, well what can I exspect , from sitting all day long to work hard on the garden, should be normal I fucked up abit lol.
I went to my gf as planed today, it was great we talked much and we came us closer. She wanted sex but I said NO! She looked at me very confused lol. I just told her that I don’t feel comfortable to do it the first day we see us again after the Disput. She was Horney as hell and me too but I feel proud too say NO and she accepted it. Also we had a few Moments where I was highly triggered, example - why didn’t you just came to my place on my birthday?
Obviously cuz I was blocked and didn’t know what’s going on, but this I DID NOT say out loud. My answer was - thought you want a bit Distanz and I was busy myself. Damn bro she looked with big eyes but she liked it. I was not going to much in detail on the Disput cuz it doesn’t matter anymore , important is that I control myself I this situations better so it will may dont go this far as last time !
Sunday we meet again, iam really happy how this turned out and I keep working on myself.
My muscle pain is better today I just chilled abit in the garden enjoying the weather. Later on I played games, and this way to long , I had fun but had no Disziplin to stop early which I don’t like👎🏻
Also my diet went down the toilet pretty much again , eating a lot chocolate cuz of eastern. But I try not be so hard with myself , I will turn it back into Good again pretty sure.
Urges hit me very hard pretty much daily I don’t resist them like I did before . I feel it and if it doesn’t go away from self , I take cold shower and it’s gone. But mostly I just go out and do some , it’s so important to use this Energy and power out so i don’t fall into the relapse trap. So far so good. Iam thinking about to cancel the meeting with my gf on Sunday , I mean she needs to study for her important exam, I see where it ends then and I will not say no this time
Gonna think about that one night .
Good night brothers and sister’s
Just relapsed few mins ago, man I was not able to sleep with the urge, then I gave in and MO. I didn’t watched porn , maybe that’s why I don’t feel guilty. Not happy that my streak is gone of course , but tbh it’s the first relapse I feel ok with , I don’t think I lost my benefits.
All I can do is reset and start again it is what it is. Iam proud to made it that far after all the mental crap I have been tru those days , and With that mindset I start my new streak , back to the start
Its ok bro. Benefits have not gone anywhere, just the number of days have changed which don’t matter much if you are in right mindset.
And bro, pardon me if I say anything wrong as I don’t have experience with women, but I feel that your reply to her wasn’t appropriate. You should have directly let her know that you were hurt because she blocked you and hence did not find it appropriate to visit her on her birthday, as you didn’t know how it’ll turn out. I believe that small misunderstandings like that happen in any relationship and then we should let others know how we feel about it, so that they don’t do it again in the future. Also, I think that you should visit her this Sunday, not as a distraction but as a breath of fresh air which refreshes her mind so that she can study more efficiently. Though, I’d advise you to not get physically intimate with her till her exams atleast, and tell her that it’ll be a prize she’d get after she performs well in the exam. If you don’t visit her despite her inviting you, then it may make her sad which can further ruin her efficiency in studies. Atleast if I’d invite someone with love and they wouldn’t show up, then it’d greatly disappoint me and I’d think of it for some time in negative manner.
Last time I remember relapsing, It was a 15 day streak, but I had already known the benefits by then. So you have set the ground for a big streak. Go for it
Iam happy to have her back for the moment that’s why I didn’t wanted to go much in detail on the Disput, it would run into a dead end and I probably lose control over my words / reaction. Don’t won’t that to happen right now. Your right obviously but for now I move on with this old Disput I won’t talk about it anymore with her. Not getting physical with her on Sunday will be almost impossible I think she already said last time, she wants it. And if I say no again will probably lead to misunderstanding that’s the last thing I want right now, it’s Good how it goes so far. I’ll go there Sunday will see what happens, just gonna have a Good Time together, what happens will happen
Iam hyped for the new streak, have a good feeling about it
just sitting and try being in the moment. It worked good , it was so peaceful with the birds flying around I love it.
joined aswell and played around 
. The neighbors came out and we talked a little. That was not easy for me to socialize but I work on that.
, took a shower , not ice cold but much colder then usually cuz I had urges and morning wood. That worked instant lol 
I highly recommend doing that! Then I went out in the garden, all I can say is there is work for days which I will use to make it more pretty there and powering myself out. My bones 
are hurting but it was fun. Tomorrow try cleaning the flowerbeds on the front from the house, it’s a mess I admit.
cuz of eastern. But I try not be so hard with myself , I will turn it back into Good again pretty sure.
