‘Love will never lose its power
All my failures, could not erase’
This is one of my favourite songs and summerizes what I feel now.
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At times, I think the same things. I want to go back in time and solve the problem before it started, but that’s not how you learn things. You learn by making mistakes, and fixing them. And besides, it’s not possible to go back anyways. You will come out of this journey stronger than you would have been without experiencing it. You know yourself so much better because of this experience. It happened, and that sucks, but there’s a lot we can learn from these experiences.
Maybe think about what your future self would want to tell you now, instead of trying to tell you past self something. You probably won’t know what your future self will want to say, but that’s okay. Try to make it so your future self has nothing to say to your present self. Do your best to live to your ideals and live life to its fullest.
Take care 
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This song you posted…made me cry because you see I was rebellious as a Christian and at times it was hard to confirm my belief due to my faith not being as strong as it should be. I was also a youth pastor’s kid and don’t know if that makes any difference.
My life has been as a double life kind of thing. Guess my disguise is like a mask, I want to put it on when I feel like and not as much as I should.
Also having a diagnosis as a BiPolar, doesn’t help as well.
In time though I hope and pray I can finally take the chains that hold me in bondage to the sin. I hope one day I can say I have reached my goal and stay away from PMO. I am 10 days strong and hope to surpass my longest streak which I am glad about. Also another thing, do you have any other eye opening music videos? In this time for me to requarantine it would be nice to have something motivational to listen to because in times of depression for me I turn my back back to sin and guess that is the fault of my mentality as a girl. I have self-esteem and self-confidence to survive these urges that make one happy for a second instead of a lifetime of pure happiness.
PS wishing you the best in your journey 
hope to read more about it and support you in every way I can. As some people like to say, “Strength rises in numbers!”
-Jen
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I like the maturity in your posts. You’re gonna be cured soon.
That’s so good you spent your free time on nostalgy and overthinking rather than relapsing. Now get up end prepare for your exams xd
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I loved this song @comingclean. Even though Iam not a Christian it bought some peace into my heart. I think this song can help us when urges hit. Iam saving this song. Thanks for sharing it @comingclean.
@Attempt_Two_Electric_Boogaloo I agree with you brother. Only when we hit the rock bottom in life we’ll get to know the greatness and magnificence of our life. This is our chance to make our greatest come back and doing that together is the best thing in this world. Iam so happy to be with you people in this Journey where we are becoming the best version of ourselves. That is what God wants us to do.
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Thank you. I think it’s amazing that our relatively small (active) group of people on this forum can keep eachother going so well in beating one of the hardest addictions around. I wouldn’t know, but I expect that such a wonderful community doesn’t exist for people wanting to stop smoking or drinking, for example. I love each and every one of you, not only for helping others improve their live, but also for improving your own life.
By sharing, and giving, we strengthen ourselves and receive even more from the community.
I was not religiously raised, and don’t regard myself as religious, but I’m beginning to understand more and more why people would turn to religion. I’m becoming more and more tolerant to other people’s religions, where my parents weren’t to a great degree. I’ll definitely come back to this song when I need to stop myself from acting upon urges.
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As a female what drawback do you feel?
Oh, wow, thank you for your kind responses! 
edit: next time I’m going to answer you seperately because this way I found it a little bit impersonal* after I sent the reply. (*Sorry about that.)
Jen, @jam5c I’ll send you a message in the next days, at the latest on Thursday. Until then: yes, I’ve made a playlist recently. 
This is a good piece of advice! Thank you @Attempt_Two_Electric_Boogaloo You’d make a good therapist. 
(Therapists after all are nothing but professional friends and you’re a good friend.)
Thank you, @Hubinho! Your words meant a lot to me.
Understood. 
I agree with you, @Tagore. I always like to read your posts and comments, your positivity is truly inspiring. You have a talent to encourage others. Thank you!
Good question. I’m going to write about it in the next days.
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Dear sister @comingclean I went through your diary and felt happy that you are making good Improvements. I saw instances where you conquered some urges. Great job! Keep going like this. You are a strong woman who has unlimited potential within you. Jesus is with you. All you have to do is, as I tell to all my brother companions, unleash the inner beast 
I’ll also suggest you add meditation, affirmation, visualization etc into your daily routine if those things aren’t there. This is a process in which we are changing our entire life, so those things will come handy 
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I’ve an intense baby fever these days. 
It’s kind of funny, actually. I’m sitting here studying, longing for a baby 
and doing nothing about it. 
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My story and some random thoughts
Hi, I wanted to collect my thoughts again on my story. It still would require more time because it’s a really complex topic…
I tried to choose my words carefully but it may contain triggering content for some people, so please keep that in mind while reading it.
.
I think I’m lucky because I’ve never watched P intentionally, I’ve only seen soft P on Instagram, Youtube and in films but never on purpose.
My first memory is from the time I was 4. I think I discovered some good feelings accidently. Hope it’s okay if I share that with you guys. However, I didn’t know anything about it and I clearly remember that I was busy with playing in the kindergarten instead of this so I forgot it until around 9.
I can’t remember exactly, but I think I found an atlas at home where were pictures about pregnancy, lady parts… (my mum was a nurse) and that could be the trigger that made me curious about this again.
I can really count this as a problem since I hit puberty. Hormones are strong…
At the age of 13 I started to go to a youth group in church. I heard the m word there for the first time. So since that time I knew it was a sin and didn’t wanted to do it, but I relapsed (can we call ot a relapse in the beginning?) like every 3-4 months.
There was one time when I was free for almost a year. I relapsed because we had a lesson one time at the university where a ‘sexual pscyhologist’ talked about sexual health including M. She sad that it was totally okay and encouraged us to ‘discover our bodies’. 
I was really upset about what I’ve heard. I was angry, disturbed and at the same time, her words kept echoing in my ears… few days later I relapsed and it became a 2-3 months problem again.
Things got worse 2 years ago when I started to be friends with people in my study group who often said dirty things and had a harmful attitude on relationships and sexuality. I always tried to ignore the things I’ve heard, but my fantasies deepened and I started to relapse more often, 1 or 2 times a months, and after that every 2-3 weeks. Sometimes I could stop it for 3 months but relapsed again and again…
I always wanted to quit but I couldn’t. Last autumn I got even more determined and started to seek for more help. I was at counseling several times in my church, but the woman I talked with didn’t know much about this addiction. (So sad.) I felt really hopeless and alone.
I was crying out to God on the 31th of December to help me to get out of this and every issues I had related to that. (anxiety, self-esteem issues…) I was heartbroken.
I found some christian content about this and it led to more and more useful things. (shout out for the youtube algorythms…)
Other areas of my life also started to bloom, I had some great success at the university, got into some really interesting research projects etc.
I was happy.
At that time, one guy from the church asked me out. I wasn’t into him and honestly I didn’t want to think about boys and relationships at all, but somehow I said yes and well, it turned out as a suprisingly good decision. He’s one of the greatest people I’ve ever met and the way he treats me is one of my biggest motivation to become a better person and to quit this once and for all.
Tomorrow is going to be the day when I pass my last streak, the day I found this app.
I’m thankful that I can be here and experience the power of this supporting community.
Thank you, guys.
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We’re glad to have you here where we can all support eachother My dream is to one day look back and remember all of you in this community and know that we all did our best to make it out of this addiction. Maybe even come back here and chat y’all up to see how things are going if this app will still be a thing. We all can and will do this.
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Through this community, we are all together…fighting together with the Demon inside us. Of course we all are very far away from each other, even we do not know each other personally but still through our mind, brain frequency and that same mind set against this addiction WE ARE UNITED. Unity is the most powerful thing and give us strength to fight with urges and win every time when urges hit. NEVER GIVE UP SISTER. Use your belief system, use this power in unity, use your strengths and slay that demon inside you.
#NoFapForever 
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Hello @comingclean!
First of all, you are in good company. We are proud of you as a community, and as friends in this mutual challenge against evil.
I was addicted started at 9 years old, and I finally set myself on quitting when I was 20. I tried stopping many times, but it was just a cycle of 1 good day to a week, then days of falling in the muck of shame.
Jesus is fully responsible that I’ve been clean now for 12 days straight, and I’m betting on forever. When the urges started, many times I begged Jesus, “Lord, HELP!!! I NEED YOUR STRENGTH TO FIGHT THIS!” He will never push you away for begging to be in his presence. Remember also to focus your thoughts on thankfulness, and good things. Never dwell on evil things.
You’re God’s Child:wink:
.
Blessings,
~@s4omwu
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I can only speak for myself but some of these can be general experiences for women:
- women’s (P)MO addiction is almost a taboo, you can feel all alone and the shame is worse, too
- it took me years to find good sources and to let go of my pride and bashfulness and download this app for e.g. where most of the users are males
- women are more vulnerable emotionally and in my case, one of the main reason of my addiction was that I was overwhelmed, anxious, stressed and sad quite often and didn’t know how to cope with it.
- hormonal reasons: at the time of ovulation women can experience higher sx drve. It’s a normal thing but if someone is an addict, she can relapse at those times. However, after that it goes down and it’s easier to stay on the right path.
Thank you for asking.
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I ran 5 km on Monday and 3 km today.
I was suffering this time because I was already tired when I started it but managed to finish what I planned.
I didn’t have strong urges today and I can control my thoughts so much better. I’m happy about it.
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I wanted to write that this was one of my favourite songs, but I’ve already used this caption at another song before. 
However, it’s true. This is a cool song and makes me want to dance every time. 
(And I’m working on to accept completely that the lyrics applies to me, as well. )
Have a great day!
I was buried beneath my shame
Who could carry that kind of weight?
It was my tomb
'Til I met You
I was breathing, but not alive
All my failures I tried to hide
It was my tomb
'Til I met You
You called my name
Then I ran out of that grave
Out of the darkness
Into Your glorious day
Ps the bridge is the best part of it.
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The Bible on those who propagate lust, PMO etc. and claim that they’re christians at the same time.
Harsh a little bit.
These false teachers are like unthinking animals, creatures of instinct, born to be caught and destroyed. They scoff at things they do not understand, and like animals, they will be destroyed. Their destruction is their reward for the harm they have done.
They love to indulge in evil pleasures in broad daylight. They are a disgrace and a stain among you.
They delight in deception even as they eat with you in your fellowship meals. They commit adultery with their eyes, and their desire for sin is never satisfied. They lure unstable people into sin, and they are well trained in greed. They live under God’s curse.
They have wandered off the right road and followed the footsteps of Balaam son of Beor, who loved to earn money by doing wrong. But Balaam was stopped from his mad course when his donkey rebuked him with a human voice.
These people are as useless as dried-up springs or as mist blown away by the wind. They are doomed to blackest darkness. They brag about themselves with empty, foolish boasting. With an appeal to twisted sexual desires, they lure back into sin those who have barely escaped from a lifestyle of deception. They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption.
For you are a slave to whatever controls you.
2 Peter 2:12-19 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/2pe.2.12-19.NLT
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I have seen this a lot in my life time that some claim to be of Christian faith yet they fall back to wrongdoings. I know from the day I was baptized again…I feel a lot better with self the reason is because I am changing my ways of living my life and want my life to glorify God not other people.
Thought 
Box on this Passage: The Bible is right about the way in which sin creeps in. It is scary that people out there exist and deception is in plain sight.
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I’m thinking about going to counseling/confessing my sins… There’s a topic by @hunt1ng4self-control (‘Overcoming loneliness’) which reminded me of the power of it and I also found some good parts regarding it.
'This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
1 John 1:5-9 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/1jn.1.5-9.NLT
‘My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.’
1 John 2:1-2 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/1jn.2.1-2.NLT
‘Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment—to love one another—is the same message you heard before. Yet it is also new. Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it. For the darkness is disappearing, and the true light is already shining.’
1 John 2:7-8 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/1jn.2.7-8.NLT
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