Comingclean's [24 F] diary&thoughts | habits • stress • notes

While setting the relapse time, set the date when you think you relapsed. That will give you your streak

See there?

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Hi guys, day 47.

I’m pretty stressed now. It feels like I’m on day 3, urges are strong. I have to finish 3 different tasks until Friday (thesis etc.). If I can make it, I’m gonna be sooo happy.

Have a nice day!

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Real problem is not that you can’t manage but reall problem is that you are thinking of something which will relax your mind. Relaxing your mind is deceptive here. Find a tweak to your brain by doing something. let things go wrong.but promise me today you won’t look back. I know it’s difficult. But you can do it. Just start completing one task at a time.
posting once again my fav,

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You’re gonna make it. Remember that relapsing will not give you benefit. It will be just short term release of tension. But later you are gonna regret it.

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Thank you @assh and @raushan! :blush:


Update:
I downloaded the app again to be able checking
the forum easier these days.

Right now the urges are left but I expect them to return tomorrow.

Good night.

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Day 49
I’m better now. Yesterday was a hard day, I was a real mess. Didn’t relapse, though

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Day 50.

I just want this week to be over. :sob: I’m frustrated and exhausted. Things don’t go smoothly.
No urges right now, but I have a terrible headache.

Tomorrow will be better.

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Do not focus on tomorrow for no one knows what tomorrow will bring. Just know my fellow sister, that the next life will be better for those who believe in Him, who died for all of our iniquities.
God bless.

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Day 51

I have a few hours left to upload my thesis. If everything goes right, it will be done by an hour.

It seems that my exchange trip is also on track
now, I can upload the documents by the deadline (sunday).

In the afternoon, I have another meeting to sign some contracts because of an uni project.

I could postpone my next final exam (I would have had to do next week, but I couldn’t start studying)

I’m optimistic and so-so happy that God and friends helped me to stay pmo free during this hard time.

Have a nice day.

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:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes: What’s that? :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

This is incredible how things are going smoothly when on nopmo. I mean you have some worries and need to work hard, but it all pays off. Keep going!

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Hello, I only just discovered your journey, I try to write a summary of avrt for you: It seems like you try to beat it with willpower, but that will leave you always as if you were missing out. You aren’t missing out! You don’t need m*, noone needs m*, it doesnt give you anything. The urges stem from the anchient part of the brain that also yearns for thirst and hunger, it’s confused, it doesn’t have a concept of time or planning, it only wants " water nowww" or" m* nowww", it can only yearn. It can only urge, it is a quadraplegic without real control. It is the small monster. It has to urge the big monster, consciousness to do something for it but that consciousness is you! You have the power. Because the small monster doesn’t have a concept of time, the word “never” makes it shriek and scream. “I will never m* again.” say it and observe the reaction. Your little monster will put relativations in there instantly: “No, that can’t be, I can never know, that’s something I can never say for sure”. Those are excuses. It shrieks away from “Never” and that’s how you can destroy it. Say it again; I ll never m* again, ever. Can you feel it toss and turn? Fall into panic and anxiety? You’re hurting it, you’re hurting the little monster and taking its power away.

That’s avrt

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I meant university project

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Ok…I got it…

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Everything’s completed. I’m relieved. :raised_hands:

Thanks. :blush: i think I use the ‘be concious, be aware’ method. That’s the reason why I wrote here more often these hard days. I try to optimize my strategy when circumstances change.

During the last days, I’ve reached the level of anxiety when I couldn’t rely on being concious, the only thing that kept me from relapsing was my real life accountability partner/mentor and some sort of feeling that I can’t go back.

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Trggr free:)

‘If you want love, you have to go through the pain.’

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