Wednesday 8th
@Gk-00 @Forodwaith
I know what you mean about personal ongoings @Karan050
For me, writing down things here can sometimes be a double edged sword - when in truth, I just want to be present and optimistic.
I think it’s extremely important for us (in particular) to keep positive and refrain from the things that will drag us down, as its always in those dragged-down moments we seek comfort.
Like Jordan Peterson would say “tidy your room first” - We, here, are special cases.
Positivety and doing what is needed - you wouldn’t take a recovering alcoholic to the pub.
It’s been a wonderful day, the morning wasn’t a good one but I’d already forgotten about it.
No church this morning as it was a funeral Mass for only family & friends of the deceased, but am looking forward to Mass tomorrow.
I spent all day with my close friend who stayed in India for a year on a spiritual journey.
A wonderful day spent with him.
I feel so open and relaxed around him, he’s wise, understanding, and always aspires to truth, and what is good & healthy. He has a positive impact.
The beautiful woman in the local shop,
Her eyes and smile stirred me (omg she’s adorable) 
I struggle to believe in that attraction, that I could attract,… “She’s just being friendly, or maybe she thinks we’re a gay couple” 
… or to go deeper; maybe I feel unworthy. I’m unsure, but it’s okay,… Small steps I can gradually see what’s going on, who I am.
For a long time now I feel vacuous, dull and uninteresting. Porn related? Yes most definitely.
I struggle with intellectual things, getting caught in “the opposite is always true” - but is it?
I’m not so sure right now - which is great.
Our bodies, at least, have a mind of its own, regardless of what we want to believe.
My friend has an open energy, his beliefs have changed for the better, its though he has jumped train tracks, where God is present, where as before it was just a theory often dismissed.
Science and pragmatism being pinnacle.
That nature, his openess, availability is what brought energy.
Probably why there was some energy in the shop, conversationally messing around.
He is good company.
Someone conscious of death, and open to the possibility of much larger things at play than we realise, that logic struggles with.
He said some amazing things today, one of which was “I dislike that phrase ‘people need to wake up’ people are already awake, we are conscious, but its the question of ‘how much attention are we giving?’”
Thanks be to God for today. I’m so grateful for friends like him.
I’d like to think that gorgeous normal looking lady felt drawn to me, and there may be something special in me. It’s a good reason for being here, and making an effort, even though I feel in a slight state of wishful thinking about it. 
I wish that wasn’t so, and I was more outgoing and free of doubt.
There’s nothing sexier than a guy that makes an effort. It’s not about being perfect, but care, attention and availability.
My friend gets me (I know its a vain thing to think about) my religiosity isn’t some form of chastisement to please a deity, but a practice because worldly things are unsatisfying, where God is The Lord, and the only true fulfillment that is never exhausted. I’m grateful for him, I don’t feel so alone outside of Catholic community
Survive Saavan Challenge (July 6 - Aug 3) メN0 PMOメ
or am I? Am I putting into effect all of my strategies, am I understanding this journey each day to my fullest ability, or am I just getting lucky?
