Watched the count hit day 16. Happy Thanksgiving. Spending time with family. Every day is a win that I change habits. This app really helping. An alternative to check the count and messages when I reach for my phone instead of reaching for the porn. I have been on checking a lot because I use to check out porn multiple times a day. In the morning before work, at lunch break, at night, and especially weekends. This app has been a life saver as it is diverting my habits and the urges reduce after checking the counter and reading inspiration from everyone. Thank you out there.
Happy Thanksgiving @bobm
This is so inspiring journey…
Keep going brother…
You got this…
All the very best.
Started to watch a show with nudity. Stopped self. Going to bed. Don’t want to go down that path. One day at a time.
Am so proud of you…
Woke up rock hard and feeling ready to explode. Out of town so can’t get to the gym. Meditated until it went down. Staying strong and focused on new day. I can do this.
Day started out hard and frustrated, but turned the day around. Kept busy and didn’t isolate. Walked away from a triggering event. Boom! Success.
That’s the success mantra…
We have to keep ourselves busy maximum time.
Day 18. Taking one day at a time. Today I travel home. Feeling down. When I go home I have to face being an adult again with all the responsibilities and stress it entails. Would rather vacation every day of the year lol. This app has been very helpful.
Great progress man👍
I know it’s probably already on your mind, but be extra careful to use your strategies and journal here when you get urges. I know that, at least for me, coming back from a vacation always brings on huge urges when I get home.
Remember the power of writing! When you feel that the urges might overwhelm you, give journaling on here a try. Pick apart the urge’s argument and give it counter-arguments. Get to the root of it and it will disappear.
Stay strong during these coming days We are rooting for you!
Day 19. Slept okay with only waking a couple of times. No dreams, didn’t wake up hard. However, that means I can’t get comfortable and let my guard down or I will succumb to the habit without thinking. I really want to be successful this time. I really want to be the man I pretend to be. I want to be congruent inside and out. Not only do I hide the shame of pmo, I hide the shame of the history of addictive sex with men. They were always available. Can’t believe I just wrote that. Always expecting and fearing rejection. So much shame in my life. I have built a good life for myself, but can’t enjoy it internally because of the struggle with my demons. I will conquer this time.
Yes we all have shame in our lives, things that made us incongruent with our outer image, with who we really want to be. But this is a safe place bro, you can come out of this.
That’s good that you are addressing these secret shameful acts. Addressing your issues and bringing them to light will make them lose their power and help you to understand why you keep going back to this addiction and other addictions.
Stay strong man
@Special_Bird thank you. Your post made me feel much lighter today. Part of me wants to explain my journey and everything I have endured. Yet somehow it doesn’t seem to matter. I have held on to it for so long. Maybe it’s time to just let it go. Let myself heal. Be the person I am meant to be. I wish I had the wisdom I hear on this app in my youth.
Glad to help bro. Ya man I feel that, before I broke free I always felt the need to share my story, but I realized at some point that I just needed to let it go. I was holding on to all the terrible experiences when all it was really doing was holding me down.
That said, if you do want to share your story, there’s no judgement there, but as you said, maybe it’s better to just move forward despite it.
Today is day 20. Made love to my wife. No p no m = no guilt. However it took a long time to O. Still proud of the progress on my personal journey and personal goals. Some day I will be the emotionally healthy person I want to be.
Heading into day 21. Feeling a lot of stress at work this month. Usually look for that way to numb myself. This time going to just deal with it head on. I can’t give up now.
You are doing great! 3 weeks in already. Congrats @bobm
Tough start to day 22. Triggered while at the gym. Found myself downloading an inappropriate app. Immediately uninstalled before looking at anything. Avoided close call. Can’t give up now. Forward.
Keep moving forward bro! We’re all supporting you!
Great job in deleting that app today. Remember that you’re not missing out on anything. There’s no need to go backwards.
Good move man!
Stopping yourself like that takes a lot of willpower and a serious want to be clean.
Be careful though, I know that whenever I would cross the line once in the day, it was easier to cross it later. Remember that when those urges come back, come here and write about them. Pick at them in your brain, question them. What is the root of the urge? Why are you feeling this?
Typically I find that urges come at us when we are feeling negative emotions, something is bothering us. And because we have been addicted for so long, it can be very subliminal, we had no idea we were feeling bad because we are used to using PMO to suppress it. But the fact that you are getting urges should alert you that you have an unresolved problem.
And maybe that problem is that you are tired and need to get sleep or hungry and need to eat, or lonley and need to spend time with someone. Or it could be that something happened today that is bothering you, maybe someone said something really rude.
I know in my case, sometimes urges will come from feeling lame for not having a girlfriend by now. Hanging out with my friends can sometimes bring those feelings up. In the past I would just relapse because of it and maybe not even know why. But when I started to talk to the urge, face it head on, I realized that I had the power to change it once I revealed its lies. It was trying to comfort me and say that I could have virtual girlfriends. Which sounds really stupid when said out loud. But that’s exactly my point.
Often times the urges are so overwhelming when we just feel them, but when we actually talk to them by writing down as we pick it apart in our head, we come to realize that the urge’s arguments are stupid. And when you can see those dumb arguments on paper, you feel empowered to counter-argument them.
So whether it’s a need to be fulfilled or just a bad feeling, when we address it, the urge will go away and we can either fix our need or talk reason with ourselves about what we are feeling is wrong. Writing it here is all the better, especially for bad emotions, since if you can’t think of anything positive to turn it around, we can.
In my experience, trying this technique of talking with the urge takes a lot of practice, at first it seems stupid and the urge comes right back, but that just means you need to dig further and counter-argue more. Eventually it will go away. But it is hard sifting through our thoughts, even on paper. It will take a lot of time before you can truly unravel everything.
I would highly suggest you try it, it has been key to getting me this far in my streak. When we better understand ourselves, we can better take care of ourselves. Mindfulness is key.
Man, remember when you started this journal at day 5, and now you are on day 22! You are making amazing progress man! Keep this fight going