CM2018: My Journey to Porn-Free (+ Advices)

[Special_Bird]

Yes I love that podcast! Wish there was more like it specifically related to ■■■■.

If you want another good one, more motivational/military stuff though, you should listen to the Jocko Podcast by Jocko Willink. He has a lot of good advice and is an ex-Navy Seal.

I’m very glad to hear that you have made it to day 10 man! This is good stuff. Watch out for those urges though, make sure to attack them head on and deal with them here. That’s the biggest way that journaling has helped me. I write it all here and work through it as I get it, then I post it so that I can get feedback from everyone. I actually just wrote how I do this to another brother of ours so I’m gonna quote it below for you. Try it out, I think it will really help you. And don’t be embarrassed about trying it, I know it seems dumb at first, but it will really benefit you if you put your all into it.

@Special_Bird

Remember that when those urges come back, come here and write about them. Pick at them in your brain, question them. What is the root of the urge? Why are you feeling this?

Typically I find that urges come at us when we are feeling negative emotions, something is bothering us. And because we have been addicted for so long, it can be very subliminal, we had no idea we were feeling bad because we are used to using PMO to suppress it. But the fact that you are getting urges should alert you that you have an unresolved problem.

And maybe that problem is that you are tired and need to get sleep or hungry and need to eat, or lonley and need to spend time with someone. Or it could be that something happened today that is bothering you, maybe someone said something really rude.

I know in my case, sometimes urges will come from feeling lame for not having a girlfriend by now. Hanging out with my friends can sometimes bring those feelings up. In the past I would just relapse because of it and maybe not even know why. But when I started to talk to the urge, face it head on, I realized that I had the power to change it once I revealed its lies. It was trying to comfort me and say that I could have virtual girlfriends. Which sounds really stupid when said out loud. But that’s exactly my point.

Often times the urges are so overwhelming when we just feel them, but when we actually talk to them by writing down as we pick it apart in our head, we come to realize that the urge’s arguments are stupid. And when you can see those dumb arguments on paper, you feel empowered to counter-argument them.

So whether it’s a need to be fulfilled or just a bad feeling, when we address it, the urge will go away and we can either fix our need or talk reason with ourselves about what we are feeling is wrong. Writing it here is all the better, especially for bad emotions, since if you can’t think of anything positive to turn it around, we can .

In my experience, trying this technique of talking with the urge takes a lot of practice, at first it seems stupid and the urge comes right back, but that just means you need to dig further and counter-argue more. Eventually it will go away. But it is hard sifting through our thoughts, even on paper. It will take a lot of time before you can truly unravel everything.

Keep fighting man! You are making a lot of good progress