Before and after (Hard mode)- Alpaco's diary

Before starting
I’ve always been trying to stop this, actually, but sometimes I did it more than once per day… I couldn’t end my work in time, I was always busy and never had time for myself. I was feelt even worse every time I did that, I felt so discouraged.
One thing I noticed is that U often tought: “This will be the last time.” Guess what? It never was

First day after starting
Pretty much the only difference is that I felt like one day I would have done it

My longest streak
I once had a 1 month long streak. It felt amazing, like if I was a small kid again, before masturbating for the first time

Short streaks (3-4 days)
Everything that happened before was just me writing my memories, but now the diary actually starts
I’m not really busy now, and I really think I won’t fail anymore. The big problem is that I know I eill never ever get to do it again, I don’t have to stop for like 1 month and then I can do it, so it happens always think “This is the last time”. It’s going better tho, I gained a lot more hope.

Update 25/02/2021
It’s almost unnerving, there is not something you can do, you just have to wait…
With all the challenges this awesome community gives, I’m really sure that I’ll be able to stop!

To be continued

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