It was my first try with NO FAP. 39 days isn’t so bad for a first try…
It was just masturbation, without porn.
This relapse started yesterday when I discovered a ball on my left testicle! I got very afraid! I thought it could be cancer or a tumour. I thought it could be because of semen retention. Today, I checked my testicle to see if this ball was still there. It didn’t… Then I checked my erection quality… I started to masturbate to get an erection… And I relapse stupidly! In a few minutes. It was like a frenzy.
Now I’ve to take responsibility for this stupid experience and I’ve to learn lessons.
New rule to succeed with this 90-days challenge: NEVER NEVER NEVER TOUCH MY DICK! Exceptions to piss and to take a shower.
I’m a little bit disappointed, but I know this journey is not an easy one. I realized how bad effects had masturbation on my sexuality. It’s a “MUST” to reboot my brain and my penis sensations!
My life isn’t easy for this moment. I’m still looking for a job. I’m struggling with finances. And my relationship with my girlfriend is horrible! I have lost almost 20lbs.
I feel like I’m lost in this universe. It’s why I’ve to take a new very important habit: praying!
Without God, I’ll not succeed. I’ll not create the life that I deserve.
It’s a long time now that I haven’t written here. Maybe it’s because I lack discipline, energy, and happiness in my life.
I seriously need to take responsibility for my life. 100% of this responsibility!
I’m very aware that we’re the result of our habits. We built ourselves by these very little daily actions: thinking, speaking, feeling, doing, … Each decision that we take has the power to change our life.
It’s why I’m right now writing here. I need to consider my life. Who I need to be to get the life that I desire.
Before everything… I thanks every person who is active in this forum. By your examples, I get inspired. I truly believe that people who try to NO PMO are not average… We’re here because we expect a wonderful life colored by our honorable personality. And it’s on what we all work. I’m very grateful for your writings and shared thoughts.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 0/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 0/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
MY MORNING ROUTINE:
Wake up at 5 am
Visualisation
Alpha meditation
MOOC Studying
Reading
Self-improvement working
Breakfast
Deep working
MY EVENING ROUTINE
Alpha meditation
Writing
Go to bed at 11 pm
My actual reading: “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahansa Yogananda
Yes totally agree, small actions can lead to big changes. My last relapse was that I didn’t get up early in the morning to workout on Monday, then Tuesday, then the whole week… and finally relapsed. These two things may seem irrelevant but it seems the body has a trend of ‘upward’ and ‘downward’, when I didn’t workout the body turned downward, and got back to the previous habits… So I’d say every aspect of life counts. Cultivate positive habits!
By the way it seems your sharing code is another user?? May you please check it?
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 3/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 3/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
I’m happy to do something of value in my life. Training my Spirit is the humblest work that we could make.
My intention is to meditate and pray God more and more! Without God I’m nothing, but with Him I’m everything and I can everything.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 4/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 4/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
Day 4… I’m tired. It’s hard… But I know that there are a lot of benefits at the end of these challenges. I have to keep doing.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 5/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 5/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
Day 5… For the moment, I feel tired all along the day. I’m not very super productive yet. But the change of wake up at 5 o’clock is already huge! It’s 7-8 hours earlier than before. It’s absolutly wonderful!
5 days without fapping! Until now, it’s easy. I handle with urges and wild erections. But I know that I have to be vigilant. Last night, I had an erotic dream (not a wet dream!).
I believe that the main difference with this streak is my new sensations of energy. When an urge occure, I can feel this energy and make it moving in my all body. With this, urge disappeares in a few minutes.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 6/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 6/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
Day 6… This morning, I’m feeling sad… Because I see how life is going by too fast.
I can’t spend my life being average anymore. It’s incredibly harmful to know that I’m not doing what I should do… I truly know… Deep inside me… I should be someone else!
I have to be courageous and embrasse all the power within me. I have to open myself to God’s Inspiration to take massive actions.
I can not live like a shit anymore. Life is pouring in front of my face so fastly! I can’t tell you how bad I’m feeling right now.
Tears of suffering flow.
30 years old… And I look my self as a fucking shit. My self esteem is so poor.
Life is very short. Enjoy every second my brothers!
Be awesome the most fastly than you can. Don’t spend any second to be average or mediocre. Mediocrity, doubt, fear have a very high price that you don’t want to pay! Trust me.
It’s NOW! Later is too late. 5-10 years is spending too fastly… You’ll have not the time to understand it. Just act massively: be awesome, pray and love a lot, and create for a better society.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 7/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 7/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
Day 7… Today is the day on which I will endeavour to ask myself an existential question: if I am a soul who has chosen to experience a human experience, why am I here?
Through a thorough review of my life, I will try to bring out the deep values that are mine.
I start from the postulate that when we are aware of our values which are the most connected to our soul, life becomes easier: we make decisions quickly, we move forward with a more courageous step in our daily life and above all, we better understand our role in this world and the mission we have come to accomplish.
The idea is to penetrate inside me to discover the unique frequency that constitutes me.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 8/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 8/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
Day 8… I was easier to wake up today!
I think I couldn’t get up before (as a reminder, I got up around noon) because unconsciously I dreaded the next day. The days were similar, I had no idea how to move forward in life, how to flourish there.
My “NO FAP” and “Wake Up at 5 am” challenges, therefore, have a deeper meaning than simply not watching porn, not masturbating, not ejaculating … Through these challenges, I seek to embody a bigger vision of myself.
As with many other members of this forum, it is a quest for meaning.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 9/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 9/90
MY SHARING CODE: m4ekqf Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed
Day 9… Today I wake up with this new feeling to know why I’m on Earth. I worked deeply to uncover my core values and to understand my life path. Now, I can see soul patterns and know exactly what’s important for me.
In the next days, I’m going to work on defining what man I’m to become! I’ll design every part of my life.
As I like to say… I’m not here to quit PMO, I’m here to be this awesome man who never need to PMO anymore.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 10/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 10/90
Day 10… Because we are all different, I’m doing my best to take into consideration the singularity of each of one. We’re here, on Mother Earth, to design our life as Artists.
Because I believe in fraternity, in harmony, in passion, my aim is to envision and give support to my brothers and sisters during my time here.
It’s exactly why I’m not fighting against urges, masturbation, pornography!
I’m fighting to find my purpose in this life and to be the kind of man who I have to be to serve it.
MY 90-DAY NO PMO CHALLENGE: 11/90
MY 90-DAY MIRACLE MORNING CHALLENGE (5:00) : 11/90
Day 11… Everything is fine!
For the moment, I control the urges relatively well when they arise.
My golden rule is not to touch my cock and to welcome the sexual energy to feel it through my whole body by relaxing myself deeply. It only lasts 30 seconds to two minutes. Then I can quickly move on.
I continue to advance in my learning, reading, various personal development exercises.
I’m not yet at having hyper-productive days scheduled for every available hour, but I’ve already changed my lifestyle considerably.
You can’t imagine how nice it is to go from a person who doesn’t sleep at night to get up at noon and have nothing more to do with their day to someone who wakes up at 5 am and takes time to meditate, read, workout, eat, etc.
I stay focused! There are still almost 80 days until the New Year.
Fuck this shit! I just escaped from an insanity urge!
Never be too confident my brothers and sisters. Things can happen quickly.
I’m strong! I got control of my mind and my body… Just in time…
What helped me was to visualize this moment when I will ejaculate and feel very weak. I saw myself in a split second having to wipe my sperm and having to feel this feeling of shame.
The key is to know where you are paying attention!
Don’t hesitate to add me please! I need your help to succeed 
