Last 2 days life was like riding a roller coaster. I will feel very positive and when I get ready to destroy my goal mood suddenly drops down and will touch rock bottom. I haven’t experienced depression with such huge strength ever in my life. Feels like all kinds of negativity are flowing through my Brian. Above all, nothing in this world feels enjoyable. That is the worst shit! I try to read, study and work but I can’t focus and suddenly depression will start eating me.
I cried a lot in the last few days.
I searched in YBOP about withdrawals of pmo addiction and these kinds of depression, anxiety etc usually occurs in people having PIED. Even I am feeling feverish as well. Now I sleep in the top floor; Iam not sure whether it is fucking Covid-19 or flatline fucking me up.
Whatever, Iam now taking in all these suffering as penance for all the poison that I put inside my brain in the form of PMO!
I’ll suffer. I’ll go through all these pain and as I reach the end of the tunnel I’ll be a little stronger than yesterday.
The storm will pass, thunder will stop, sun will rise and I’ll be a better human being.
Tomorrow onwards I’ll get back into discipline. @rewire_user I’ll come back with full power brother. This time its do or die. Its very easy to give up and become a mediocre looser. But we are born for greatness. Whatever happens; even the sky may fall down tomorrow but we’ll go forward!! We’ll go forward and we’ll Succeed!! We’ll become the best version of ourselves.
I’ve found some tools to fight flatline or withdrawals of this fucked up addiction:
- 2 Times meditation.
- Trying to be disciplined. (Still at times depression will take over us. But remember SUFFERING WILL CALLOUS OUR MIND. At the end of the day THIS IS THE PENANCE THAT IAM GOING THROUGH FOR THE POISON I INJECTED INTO MY BRAIN
- Exercise (very important)
- Talking with friends.
- Spending time in nature.
- Taking naps (helps a lot)
- Listening to calming music.
- Maybe watching a good movie too.
That said, I’ll be back Warrior Brothers! Nothing in this world can stop me. We are all born for greatness and 2021 is ours!!!
Lets take it one day at a time. Every second in every way we are becoming better!
