2021: TAGORE'S YEAR OF RESURRECTION ( 20 m )

Last few days life has been like riding a wave. I thought it was just negative thoughts entering my mind. So I was focusing on all the positive things in the world; saying all the positive affirmations. But today, negativity reached its maximum. My libido is 0 now, no energy, no motivation to do anything, not able to focus on work, fatigue, pain in limbs, sever headache and negative thoughts are hitting me like sea waves. Even suicidal thoughts are occurring one after the other.
I never believed in flatline myself. When I tried rebooting before my 100% focus was on work and daily routine. But I don’t know, what the fuck is happening now. No positive thoughts are staying in mind; negative thoughts and depression is hitting me like sea waves when Iam sitting at home.
So today I spent most of my time @josephvt’s home. Just talking with him, helped me a lot.
Everything is out of balance now. Maybe these are all signs that rewiring is happening. It feels really strange; I don’t feel like myself. The most recurring thoughts are: ‘lets end everything. Everything feels worthless’ or ‘lets relapse’
Dick is also dead! What all fucking shit this addiction has done to me!
But I know one thing, everything shall pass. Life will get better. Still Iam meditating and exercising. This pain, suffering, anxiety, depression, numbness and dark clouds will go away. A better tomorrow is coming.
Above all, I now understand how much this addiction has fucked up my brain! This is exactly like any other drug in the world. Iam leaving you once and for all pmo. Everyone’s life touch rock bottom when you appear as a companion.
Iam born for greatness. I’ll go through these hard times. It’ll pass.
Bro @Kaizen I heard that you were also going through flatline, depression and all lately. Was it like this??
What kind of an addiction is this brother?! Let’s leave this once and for all. We’ve had enough. We are much, much a 100 times greater than beating our flesh like an animal.
Thanks for being there everyone. Just writing this out helps me.
Brother @_TIGER you won the last week’s work challenge. Iam not at all able to focus on work (only completed 38 hours). I’ll get back; I don’t want to believe it but I think Iam flatlining. Mind in numb; not able to focus on anything.
@rewire_user I lost the weekly challenge of miracle morning bro. I don’t want to be hard of myself now. Everything feels worthless. I’ll spent time with family, friends and other things instead of work in the coming few days. Dark clouds are all around me. It’ll pass and I’ll get back to BEASTMODE again bro.

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:fire::fire::fire: again be ready for next Sunday … @Tagore …don’t think about anything only work work work !!!

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Haha depression and stress !! It can’t make obstacles in front of @Tagore !! Who is the king of his life :muscle::fire::fire:
An ordinary person can talk about depression but not you …I want always you can tolerate everything… You should tolerate .
So tomorrow 9 hrs !!! :fire::muscle::muscle: Let’s see who will win?

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Yeah brother. It was exactly like this. For almost two months. :pleading_face:
You have no idea how many times I thought of quitting and end it all. But the more hard it got the more determined I became. After some time I accepted the flatline as my new norm. My new state of being. I said to myself that it won’t matter if I never get out of this state. I will never do pmo ever again in my life. And I still stand by that promise.
In these tough times it will feel like that nofap is worthless. You will never get out. Don’t listen to those thoughts. Remember the time you first started this streak. There was raging fire inside you. :fire:
Right now this fire has become weak. But it’s still not out yet. You must do everything in your power to protect this little ember. If it’s gone, then everything you worked for so hard will be lost.

I’m at day 83 today. But I’m not exited to get to 90 days. The allure of these milestones are lost to me. For me nofap is for the rest of my life. Not just for two or three digit number of days.

I don’t know if you actually believe me or not…

I’m never fapping or pmoing in my life ever again. :slightly_smiling_face:

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:sob: :sob: :sob: :heart_eyes: :heart_eyes: :heart_eyes:

well that hit straight into my heart. :fire:

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It should bro… Because it is the truth. :slightly_smiling_face:
That’s exactly how I feel.
If you still use this forum for this year and the next, you will get the proof of my claims.
I will still be here.

I don’t do nofap anymore

My version of nofap is called :

Neverfap :fire:

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YESS gotcha!!!

neverfap>>>>>nofap :fire:

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I am very greatful because, i learned so wonderfull things from people like you , tagore , tiger , rewire user, dean ambrose, ash matt , uda cisie, valiant warrior, evil morty, and many more
i learned the courage from yall. the courage that i needed.

2020 was a year , which has affected my life in positive way due to this app :pray:

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@tagore: keep in mind that the last battle is always the more severe… Keep doing, you are winning the war.

I think it’s time for shadow working. All these waves of dark clouds are here for a reason. You are integrating your past with a higher level of consciousness. Don’t push it away, it will be back stronger.

Courage, brother! You are on the right path and you know it.

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Time will heal you brother…give some time to your body to heal up

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Last 2 days life was like riding a roller coaster. I will feel very positive and when I get ready to destroy my goal mood suddenly drops down and will touch rock bottom. I haven’t experienced depression with such huge strength ever in my life. Feels like all kinds of negativity are flowing through my Brian. Above all, nothing in this world feels enjoyable. That is the worst shit! I try to read, study and work but I can’t focus and suddenly depression will start eating me.
I cried a lot in the last few days.
I searched in YBOP about withdrawals of pmo addiction and these kinds of depression, anxiety etc usually occurs in people having PIED. Even I am feeling feverish as well. Now I sleep in the top floor; Iam not sure whether it is fucking Covid-19 or flatline fucking me up.

Whatever, Iam now taking in all these suffering as penance for all the poison that I put inside my brain in the form of PMO!

I’ll suffer. I’ll go through all these pain and as I reach the end of the tunnel I’ll be a little stronger than yesterday.

The storm will pass, thunder will stop, sun will rise and I’ll be a better human being.

Tomorrow onwards I’ll get back into discipline. @rewire_user I’ll come back with full power brother. This time its do or die. Its very easy to give up and become a mediocre looser. But we are born for greatness. Whatever happens; even the sky may fall down tomorrow but we’ll go forward!! We’ll go forward and we’ll Succeed!! We’ll become the best version of ourselves.
I’ve found some tools to fight flatline or withdrawals of this fucked up addiction:

  1. 2 Times meditation.
  2. Trying to be disciplined. (Still at times depression will take over us. But remember SUFFERING WILL CALLOUS OUR MIND. At the end of the day THIS IS THE PENANCE THAT IAM GOING THROUGH FOR THE POISON I INJECTED INTO MY BRAIN
  3. Exercise (very important)
  4. Talking with friends.
  5. Spending time in nature.
  6. Taking naps (helps a lot)
  7. Listening to calming music.
  8. Maybe watching a good movie too.

That said, I’ll be back Warrior Brothers! Nothing in this world can stop me. We are all born for greatness and 2021 is ours!!!

Lets take it one day at a time. Every second in every way we are becoming better!

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Hell yeah brother !
This is the time brother, to take some tough choices in order get ahead in life.
You are far ahead of us brother,
You have the knowledge of the easy peasy book.
Now, it’s time to get into “beast mode” again !
I want to see that beast rising again.
I want you to be the inspiration to the coming users.
You are capable of it bro.

The beast trapped inside of you is waiting to be unleashed.

levi
:fire:
Just cut these things into half,
This time it’s do or die.
See you at the top.
Remember it’s our determination brother.
You are a lot stronger than these negative thoughts and flatline.
Just remove all this shit,
From your liife.
I want you to be at the top.
I promise that I will also try my best to get there
I will be waiting for you there bro !
:muscle: :fire:

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Tagore is going to win this with his determination!
:triumph::triumph::muscle::muscle:

The silence that is inside you right now, is gonna ROAR soon! Toofan se age aane wali shanti :sunglasses:

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@Tagore Really feeling pumped up reading your journal… Am also someone who tried a lot to stop it but failed a lot… But still trying…
May i know on which day are you in currently?
Also Does any one have the link for pdf of the book How to thrive in the 21st century by havard mela…if so please send the link

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Be ready today is sunday @Tagore we will see in the night who is the beast. !!! 6e4c454b399f021d26af2544139420e1

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Hi @Tagore which app are you using to track ur hourly activity?

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Heheheh you aren’t sure whether it’s pmo or covid fucking you and yet you’re fucking it back. Be strong brother!

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That’s great. It’s healing process.

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Thanks for all the valuable advices and kind words brothers. It helps a lot.

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The brain fog has lifted, depression has reduced drastically compared to my state 1-2 weeks ago. I started reading the book The Secret again and it gave me the edge of positivity that I so desperately needed to get back into fight. Tomorrow onwards I’ll get back into discipline. Discipline + positive thoughts can change everything.
Today, I thought a lot about life and our opportunity to do a lot of great things with this small, humble opportunity God gave us to be here in this planet. We won’t be here after, maybe 100 years. Some people won’t be here next year; remember brothers people who die in the road by an accident were also like us. They also had plans and dreams like all of us.
Lets not waste the great opportunity and gift God gave us.
Every moment of being alive is valuable. We have a lot of blessings- we have parents, friends, family, a home. We are getting food everyday, we have clothes to wear, we can see, hear, we have hands, legs.
Millions don’t have even these basic amenities.
Lets look the positive side of everything.
Today I listened to the song: ‘why worry’ by Dire Straits and couldn’t stop crying.
Some lyrics in it that really hit my heart:

Baby, I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
the things they do the things they say.

But baby, I’ll wipe away those bitter tears
I’ll chase away those restless fears
and turn your blue skies into grey

Why worry…

there should be laughter after pain.
There should be sunshine after rain.
These things have always been the same.

Why worry now…

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