William's Diary [25 M]

Hi guys,

I have lost the count of how many times I have tried to quite PMO. But with the new year it gave me the motivation to start it again. I’m 25 years old and I’m addicted to it since I was 13. PMO has destroyed my life and it took me some time to realise that. I have social insiety, depression and have not dated many girls. I feel like I have lost a good part of my life because of this shit.

I will be writing daily here my progress and hope we guys can fight against it together :slight_smile:

So far I have achieved 20 days (started on 1st January). The urges are extremely high and I am resisting every day not to fap.

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Today is Sunday and a typical day for relapse as I spend most of the day resting. I decided to wake up early and go for a walk and meditate a little bit.

I set some goals for 2019 and between them, few are:

  • Start meditation
  • Hit the gym
  • Read at least one book per month

This is helping me stay busy and don’t think much about PMO but after 20 days urges as extremely high and the desire for sex is almost uncontrollable.

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Good plan, good progress. Keep going man :wink:
Tell us how’s going in the future!

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Well i think this will help you, whenever i get a urge i remind myself that these guys use our urge to make money, i wanted to tell you that 70% of web surfers browse pornography on internet. They guys use technology as gun and porngraphy as bullet to hit you on most strongest natural instinct that god has given us. Thats wrong, always remember these sex maniacs make millions sitting at home stealing all your time and self confidence.
You are rocking my friend just dont let these maniacs rule your head.

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Thank you for the messages guys. It really makes this journey easier. Today was a really tough day. Uergrs are on extreme. It has been 21days. A bit about my day:

  • Worked whole day as normal. I dont enjoy my job but I’m trying to find some motivation.
  • Went to gym after work (this is really something good to put the stress out and get some confidence)

The problem of the day: Urges are so high that I’m almost paying a prostitute for sex. Doing sex like that is a relapse?

Keep it up guys and below my code: rbkyai

Urges are so high that I’m almost paying a prostitute for sex. Doing sex like that is a relapse?

Yes, it’s bad. You need to fight your urge. Paying for sex is not a solution.

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Day 22 - I started to better control the urges today. I even feel less depressed and with more motivation to do things. I keep reading and hitting the gym after work. Also, I found that the good timing to do Meditation is once you wake up. This is helping a lot.

The current book I’m reading is called “No more Mr. Nice Guy”. It is really cool for those who feel like me. We are nice to everyone but in the end we just end up unhappy and frustrated. I destroyed my only and beautiful relationship because of behaviors that came from PMO adicton and with made me become the guy who this book describes. It’s worth reading :slight_smile:

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Do say about that book when you are finished with it bro?
I have heard that book someone else also recommending.

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Sure bro! I have read half of the book so far many good points are there… I’ll make a review once I finish it :wink:

Day 28 - Urges are much lower now than few days back. So guys resist to it and it will go away at one point. It gets easier as the days passes by.

The last weekend I invited a few friends for a trip. We hired a car and made a nice road trip. It’s nice to see that our life is much more beautiful and meaningful than a computer screen. We only waste or life and or time, time that doesn’t come back, so be strong. :peace_symbol:

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Nice to see you doing well :wink:

As you feel less urges, you need to be extra cautious now. They will come in the less expected moment. Stay strong!

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Day 38

I’ve been feeling really depressed and lonely. No motivation to go to gym, study or anything. I only go go work and sleep. Before NoFap my GF broke up with me but we were still in touch. Now she blocked me everywhere for no reason and made everything worse. I feel unlovable as never before :confused:

I almost relapsed on purpose to try to put this out of my chest but I resisted. I know it is not being easy but I will keep fighting. Almost half of my goal of 100 days completed and I won’t give up.