Why so difficult / easy?

If you’ve got time for ‘challenges’, ‘memes’, ‘motivational videos’ and ‘the like’ but still struggle, these comments might well be what you need.

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Why do we relapse?..

Actions
Smoking, drinking, fapping

Symptoms
Anxiety, insomnia, fatigue


Effect
“why am I anxious?”
“why can’t I sleep?”

Cause
did you *smoke weed?
did you drink *coffee at night?


Choices - not effect
“Why did you smoke weed”?

“Why did you drink coffee before bed”?

Reasons - not cause
I’ve got chronic pain
I thought it’d make me relax

I like coffee and a cigarette after supper
To be awake (to work/chat/watch movie)


Choice
I’m on Nofap

Reason
Pmo is making be lonely
Wasting my time
Novel and getting out of control
Making me a pervy guy

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Non-choice actions - natural state

Breathing
Blinking
Blood circulation
Not fapping

Active choices - unnatural states

Holding my breath
Keeping my eyes open
Drawing blood
Fapping

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Nofap has become so incredibly easy over the past 6 days.

The moment you know it’s either Fap or NoFap, and anything else is just “anything else”, NoFap becomes a choice and seizes to be anything else.

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Yes, triggers are real, we get tired, anxious, feel many emotions, and get knocked out of shape by the world - but that’s just life, and shit happens. Dealing with these things are not NoFap, but “anything else”

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NoFap is easy. Why?

Because you don’t have to do anything.
The hint is in the name.

Instant rewiring without making an effort, but not doing “a thing”

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Success is not an end goal,
And failure is not fatal.

Life will always have highs and lows regardless of NoFap.

The great thing about NoFap is it’s so easy, and you are constantly rewiring without doing anything, but living your life.

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Why aren’t you a NoFapper?

“I am, and gonna get 1000 days”

Is 1000 days more important, than being a NoFapper?


Again, the great thing about being a NoFapper is;
There is no challenge,
Nothing to achieve,
No Hard task,
No uphill struggle, and No Winning Goal.

It is immediate

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I’ve been here since 2018 “trying” to quit, not realising it’s very simple and easy until now.

From reading and reflecting upon @Luffychwan’s perspective above, I realise NoFap is way easier than what’s generally talked about - I only write because I wish for others to realise it.

Yes, of course work on your life and everything, but don’t complicate matters by attaching it to NoFap.
NoFap = NoFapping.
Life = Life with ups and downs, and people.


A little rant;
“girls find me attractive since quitting” as if that’s a reason to NoFap.

So, you’re giving up ■■■■ so you can get girls?
Come on, like that’s pretty much half of the problem - you’re so focused on sex, that the reason to quit are for the same problem.


The problem with ■■■■ isn’t just that it parades to be a substitute for the real thing and isn’t, but that it may as well be the real thing.

Your animal brain doesn’t know any different.
If you look at ■■■■ - no matter how much will power you use - you’ll get horny.

Sex addiction isn’t a mental disorder, because sexual desire is natural.

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Many suggestions… to reach a goal


NoFap isn’t a goal but Your suggestion

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Improving your life, making routines, and all are great, but remember it’s not NoFap.

NoFap is great, because you are immediately rewiring by not doing anything.

:face_with_raised_eyebrow: “but surely I need to do things to rewire, right?”

No, as long as you are alive and living your life, you already are.

Again, NoFap is easy - You are instantly rewiring from Not doing something.

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We should all already know everything we need to know, without having to explain it.

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I don’t want to be a negative influence here.
People still need love, compassion and mercy, not knocking into shape.

This shouldn’t be a struggle, but obviously had been for me for a long time.

I spent 5 years doing anything I could, but stopping.

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Action
Work, Study, Relationships, Self Improvement, Philosophie, Training, fighting, struggling, striving have “a light at the end of the tunnel”

Inaction
NoFap IS
Thee Light, at the end of the tunnel (of fapping)”

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Why NoFap seems difficult;

Because it means never having sex again.

:face_with_raised_eyebrow: “wtf bro? No it ain’t. That’s hard mode”

:roll_eyes: Wtf is hardmode?

:face_with_raised_eyebrow: “I just said - Not having sex”

:roll_eyes: So, you have a partner & doing hard mode?

:face_with_raised_eyebrow: “No and No. I’m just doing basic NoFap”

:roll_eyes: But you’re not having sex, right?

:face_with_raised_eyebrow: “No, I’m not”

:roll_eyes: So, you’re kinda doing hard mode then.

:face_with_raised_eyebrow: “well, yeah, by default I guess I am”

:roll_eyes: So hard mode is actually easier than basic.

:face_with_raised_eyebrow: “well, it’s easy to not have sex because I don’t have that choice. But NoFap can be difficult - Yes”

I think NoFap is difficult because we want to relapse (have sex with our hand) at some point along the way.

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Are triggers even real? If ■■■■ was on huge billboard posters everywhere - how would you deal with that?

Not sure I agree with the blocking out of words ■■■■ but it is what it is. P O R N!!!

You are attracted to what you’re attracted to - deal with it!!! And have a nice day~

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Day 14 - NoFap is still easy.

Some shit happened today.

Coworkers/Friend’s argued over miscommunication and not respecting each others time/concerns.
I got an annoyed text because of it - almost held responsible though not obviously.

I got moaned at by my coworker/friend about my evening plans.
I had to cancel a session - she got pissed at me, and started complaining about the project not being finished and the money she had to pay (I’m not in the wrong - but things don’t always happen as we wish, because life is like that sometimes.

I’m pushed and pulled in different ways by different people. My close elderly vulnerable friend/coworker,… A particular client, and my LDR gf…

So, I should relapse just because I had a shitty day? :rofl: Eeeer no.

I just make my case about things - I don’t drag it out and say stupid things that I’ll regret later,… Nor feel the need to “lay down the law” and say “how great I’ve been” or “all the effort I put in”

I recognise places where I could’ve done better, apologise with solutions to make it better and let them know I’m on their side, and things will be okay.

That’s all normal life stuff.

Attaching them to NoFap is an excuse to Fap.

Life ain’t perfect, but it’s definitely closer when you aren’t acting out of impulse, ie; fapping.

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NoFap isn’t some philosophical idea, or a challenge.
It’s a choice.

Not a choice;
To be amazing
To do better
To prove yourself

Just a choice to NoFap - anything more, You’re taking on more weight.

Fap or NoFap shouldn’t be so important,
Life is full of more important things to be concerned about.

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(2 Timothy 1 Amplified Bible)
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].

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(John 10 Amplified Bible)
The Jews answered Him, “We are not going to stone You for a good work, but for blasphemy, because You, a mere man, make Yourself out to be God.”

(John 10 Amplified Bible)
Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I SAID, YOU ARE GODS [human judges representing God, not divine beings]’?


New International Version

Psalm 82

A psalm of Asaph ~

  1. God presides in the great assembly;
    he renders judgment among the “gods”:

  2. “How long will you[a] defend the unjust
    and show partiality to the wicked?[b]

  3. Defend the weak and the fatherless;
    uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

  4. Rescue the weak and the needy;
    deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

  5. “The ‘gods’ know nothing, they understand nothing.
    They walk about in darkness;
    all the foundations of the earth are shaken.

  6. “I said, ‘You are “gods”;
    you are all sons of the Most High.’

  7. But you will die like mere mortals;
    you will fall like every other ruler.”

  8. Rise up, O God, judge the earth,
    for all the nations are your inheritance.

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