Why can't i abstain for long? A Motivational page!

I had my first streak of 30 days. then i had two 7 day streaks and the a lot of 1 and 2 days. Can anyone help me get out of this please. im depressed. i can’t focus on my studies.

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There’s a nofap titan called Soaring Eagle. As his posts say, there are two ways you can reboot:
-Reboot by force
-Reboot with knowledge

What diferences both, is the amount of knowledge you have. You have to daily study articles about rebooting and nofap. By doing so, you’ll gain determination to reboot professionally.

I encourage you to search here on the forum succes stories, reboot articles and someone accountable who can help you.

About Soaring Eagle, he has ordered his knowledge on “seasons” (there are more than 40). He has rebooted successfully for more than six years, and has a lot of experience and knowledge. You should search for the translations on english (he is chinese) on the internet.

You can msg me if you need help, I hope you can do it!

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Awesome post and I wanna add something to it as well. The other problem is the mindset on the journey plays a huge role and you need to find the inspiration on why you are here and have to keep on fighting for that.

You have to implement your journey with your solutions to fight it otherwise you are going to continue to ask were have I gone wrong. The other thing is you have to focus on your previous relapse mistakes to focus on not repeating the same mistakes.

You need to build yourself in this journey and you have to focus on what really can help you to beat this rather on getting stuck on thinking you are a ‘failure’. Remember failure is just a means to success , you just have to start thinking on how to make it right and continue on trying again and again and that what counts.

Make your journey easy and fun to follow. That’s what is key to stay clean!

Stay strong and awesome and good luck!

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Thanks guys. I consider the points that you told me.
My first streak was of 30 days and during that 30 days i had around 6-7 urges but i tackled them.

Now i will focus on those moments about how i could proctect myself. I’m on it now. Working for future.
And yes. Im going to read the journals over here daily!

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I can only show you the door, you are the one who has to go through it.

Keep going!!!

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Yes. Nothing can defeat a person until and unless he is defeated by himself(old himself)

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Hello there.

I would like to add a few things.
Your subject got me thinking; In general, in my opinion, I think we are designed to want to have/view as much sex as possible. So, congrats on making it 30 days. I been a recovering PMO my whole life. The only true times I was able to stop was when I was seeing someone exclusively or active on other things.

I read on Red Pill forums and agree that Porn is just a filter; A barrier between natural connections between Men & Women. I feel if we had easy access to healthy intercourse, the cases would be much lesser.

Yesterday I started over. I downloaded a Pool game app that *distracted me between my urge. It helped. I read that the reward symptom is overloaded after too much PMO, (dopamine). The sudden drop causes momentarily depression. Check out, yourbrainonporn web site.

I don’t think you are trully supposed to or designed to stop the desire. So be mindful and contempt you have at least a base line of how long you can go.

Just going on a mission of stopping porn forever is futile. Reading your post made me realised there has to be set backs. I think in my opinion, wet dreams, or just masturbating once after a set goal without the *porn use is accepted.

We are Men, we need sexual intercourse. Biologically the need is there.

I think the idea is to find a partner for healthy sexual intercourse; Or at least replace the *Porn use with other healthy habits, *Gym, Work, Fishing, Race driving, School, ect. Try the app meet ups to find friends and things to do.

I know it was long, but hope it helps.

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Yeep. What you wrote was right.

But, Im done with this mastubating thing. Its been 8 years of masturbation. I sometimes feel insecure about my future because of this.

Yes abstaining porn is the kost important thing.

I will be completely honest over here. The things that i cant shout out loud.

When i was in the phase of watching porn, whenever i saw any girl/women, the only thing that came in my mind was “damn, what will be the size of those b**bs” i never looked at the person, i never thought about the relation that i had with whichever girl/women that came in front of my eyes.
Im sorry if this offended any one or any girls in this forum. I just wanted to take this out of my thinking and i thought this forum would be a good place to speak this.

Moreover, this porn habit ruling me for the past 8 years. But now im a 3rd year medicine student. I think you guys got what i mean to say. Im going to face both male and female patients after few years.
For this reason i have to get out of this thing as soon as possible.

So from the last relapse i started writing in forum posts. Hope this time I’ll get out of this.

Now that was too long. Hope I’ll feel a bit less burdened by my thoughts now.

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Nice. Medicine, that’s great. Just enjoy the journey and take day by day.

Good therapy using this post to express frustration and seek info. Check this clip I randomly found yesterday by YouTube suggestion:
https://youtu.be/CNLrf8Ao48s

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Thanks for the clip buddy

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Great Postings @strongwillpower @TheWindWaker @Cubenix @leonardo_flores2020
I’m very much in the same place, your question and TheWindWaker’s response gave me some new hope, and a desire to find answers.
But the more I read and thought, I’m looking for simple quick solutions.
I’m glad you feel safe to be open here, me too.

I want to add a question, “quit asap” is a great thing, but is fear causing this?

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https://youtu.be/tLAZvESoVgI

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Fear of what? Can you mention that please

Its because you should have a purpose in your life and ultimate aim to be succeded.If we have goals in life its easy to go through nofap days.my dear brother @Tagore helped me to find my aim in life.Like that brother you should find one goal and purpose on your life.

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I wouldn’t like to suggest, but ask questions.

Please ignore it if it doesn’t arouse any helpful thoughts, that’s all :pray::wink:

I’m terrible for talking in ‘absolutes’ on here, and in life, when questions are inclusive and for the individual.

Good luck with your studies

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Well thanks @Aoshigreen. It is great to suggest the fear part.

I was on Youtube a few days ago and I think this guy used a part of a motivational speakers speech where the speaker said:

We as humans are strange things. Let’s take dreams and goals into this perspective.

See we all have a dream about how we wanna be and what tipe of person we desire to be. The next best athlete or whatever, but if we face this dream or goal we set ourselves to become we get stuck.

We are drivin to do something for that goal, but the mind plays silly tricks. As you start to doubt as the pain sets in or whatever the goal is putting strain on you you just wanna quit.

And fear also plays a big part. Some of it is positive as it drives you in not giving up like for example afraid you haven’t achieved something, but the negative fear is what is keeping us stuck as well and cause procrastination or the doubt as for example with this.

What if the guys on the forum judge me or how can I trust someone on it. Also in this journey is it gonna be worth it in the end and also will I make it? Am I strong enough to achieve that dream?

The thing is we become afraid of the success as I said in the previous statement “Will this be worth it?” And you can add how will it really be , because that is also an unknown thing.

We fear the unknown of the dream as we don’t know what to expect. We dislike or fear the next rep or set or next day as it becomes hard and it is uncomfortable and that is not what we expected.

See we like to do things that are easy and in a relaxed way to be comfortable and to achieve reward or success the quickest.

So yeah fear is reality and to beat it you just have to try and acknowledge the fact that it is there, but it has to be the driving force behind every thing you do.

If you do exercise or take this nofap journey know that yeah it is hard and yes it is very scary as you don’t know what to expect, but as soon as that fear is trying to tempt you remember why you started in the first place and know you are stronger than this and you can fight harder for it. And the reason why you have to do it will help you commit. You have to make that reason so strong that it makes you stronger.

At the end of the dream or goal you will feel awesome and you can celebrate it and know the next challenge or next dream or goal you can do it!

Hope this inspires you guys and I wish you guys all the best! Thanks for the read and support and good luck stay strong and awesome!

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SMALL ADVICE

guys dont keep goals like 30 days or 100 days. this is not like a lockdown. you are quiting this for lifetime. remember that…

if you keep such goals. after achieving the goals, the next day you will fap again as a celebration of your road to success. but its all gone… gone to waste. all those days you abstained will go to waste.

this has happened with me. and i dont want this to happen with you all warriors. thank god that i got back to abstaining. stay stong guys

so remember…you are quiting this for life time.

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I think what a NoFap Warrior needs is inner peace.

Whenever there are urges, a person having peace and is satisfied with his life will never fap.

Make peace with your inner soul rather than making rules for your hands and organ. If your mind and soul is not in your control, then controlling your sense organs is impossible. (I’ve researched on it)

Im on my way working on it. I’ll post about my journey with inner peace in my diary.

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From the book ‘Life’s Amazing Secrets’ by ~ Mr. GAUR GOPAL DAS.
It is about how to find balance and purpose in your life.

Have you ever experienced the Indian Monsoon? It brings one of the fiercest, most thunderous downpours of water from the heavens. If you’re caught in the heavy rain, it’s nearly impossible to stay dry. Similarly, its hard not to get caught up in the challenges and negative situations of the world. Feeling peaceful, happy and content is not about avoiding challenges in our life, but about how we navigate through these challenges to reach the type of life we want to live.
Aldous Huxley said, ’ Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him.’ It’s how we respond makes all the difference. If there is one possession we have that is the most valuable and can truly transform our lives completely, it is our free will. We are the authors of our own life stories. Challenges and difficulties may fall upon us, just as the monsoon rains fall upon our head. We don’t seek them or solicit them. They just come our way. We must choose how to respond.

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“Every craving you overcome, is a part of yourself you reclaim. It is no surprise that our energy and self-respect grow by leaps and bounds the longer you remain quit”
-Rakshasa deva

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