I need support really badly. I had O. I just saw some images of semi nudes stuff no porn and no video and yes intentionally, I know, blame on me. After a few moments I had O, even without M. I was at ma best score yet - 52 days. Yes I had some bumps like peeking, but I did not have M and O for 52 days and P for 40 days, which was way over 11 which I did at july this year.
I think I am lost, I was going to do it for ever, but I lost my mind. I had flatline since day 15 and today I thought about stuff, because I woke up horny AF and after 3 hours I had O.
I dont know what to do, I know that I should not blame myself and do what I did for 25 days coz this make me depressed and shit like that, but I think that I betrayed ALL of YOU and most importantly ME.
I want to cry coz I think that I lost everything which I gained through these 52 days. I was more confident and I had no problem with talking to other people. Also I lost weight due to working out and diet. I was more calmn and focused and more and I think that I am back to square one and my hands are shaking.
Now christmas are comming and I think that I will not make it as I have 2 weeks vacation.
I dont want to think that negative way, but I dont know how.
After thinking about it a bit more. I am thinking that I am back to square one, but on the other hand not and it was just a set back, not total rollback. Is it even normal? What should I understand from this? I am soooo confused.
Thanks for any support.