WalkWithoutFear's Diary - Journey to Recovery From PMO addiction

I ended relapsing so basically I am back to square one. I had negative thoughts again about my past. This time I decided i must not look back. So everything that’s from the past that is bothering me i will delete from my life for now on.
Day 1 today
I did some exercise yesterday. But today I got a little busy with errins and stuff. Going to do some Postmates and doordash. Maybe even read a book for a while and exercise. I’m trying to not curse as well which is so hard. With the help of God i can overcome. Amen.
:pray:

You have to detached from your past otherwise it can hunt down your present and even future. You dead to your past, you no longer exist for it. You only exist for present.

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Day 0
I relapsed. I won’t let negative thoughts get to me. I have to have hope in the future and moving forward. I must push on to a future where I will grow prosperous. Right now i know it may seem hopeless and foggy but keep pushing I say! Don’t underestimate yourself and most of all your Lord!
I know I have more in me than I am showing and its for that reason that I must not quite and keep going. Build a new beginning. Forget what happened and create a passion that you can have fun doing every day. I must put action into my own words. I will change and become a new creature in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen! :pray::pray:
Stay away you demons! I am coming with the most powerful force. We fight not by flesh but by spirit. Flesh isn’t greater than spirit. Be clean.
Today I did some proactive activities. I tuned up my bike and looked for ways on how to create an e-book that I plan to create about what i learned about finance and how it’s connected to habits and mentality and spirituality. It’s going to take a while but that’s okay. I am also creating a budget for every month for expenses etc… I will exercise soon. It’s almost evening now.
:muscle::muscle::muscle::pray::facepunch::pray::pray:

Day 0
Just a proactive day and feeling a little more confident because I’ve made up my mind. But I always have to be in the lookout regardless. Journey to my own future self.

Day 1
Not counting days anymore!
Just going with the flow haha.
I ate a nice meal today, did some proactive financial planning and also went to work today and I had more confidence or at least I tried lol to not look shy etc. But slowly I’m getting there. A beautiful mountain was not built in 1 day nor was a holy temple. Yesterday day 0 I worked out, ate some garlic which does clean my insides, also organized a bit.
Right now i am home alone so it’s a trigger scenario but rather than go back to my addiction i am going to read a book and meditate to avoid the urges.
God Bless all those in streaks of 1 million. Amen. :pray::pray::muscle:

Day 3
Becoming more aware of myself again. Will workout later after lunch. Today I want to nourish my body and mind as much as possible. I don’t work today so I am free to myself, however, to avoid urges, I need to be proactive so that I don’t relapse and give myself an excuse to relapse because I don’t work today. God Bless my Journey. Amen. :pray::pray::pray::fire::fire::fire::muscle:. The power within me! Seek deeper! And unleash your inner confidence.! And Power!!

Day 9
I have finally made it past 7 days officially. Of course the coronavirus is a big issue right now so it’s important to take care of my family to. Ive had many urges, crazy dreams but surprising no wet dreams and triggers but haven’t relapsed. I am focused more now than ever. I hope all of the people here are doing well.

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You can do it man, passing the first critical week is a milestone. You can go for 90 now for sure and higher!

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Thank you man. Yeah it’s been tough getting past a week but I’ve made it. Now I have to climb a bigger mountain 90 days. We can all do it with the right mindset and staying positive.

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Damn! Relapsed after 11 days. My depression was lurking in and telling me to not work and to just relapse because might as well since everyone is doing it. But the real truth is i must work to pay bills and save. This is very dangerous because if your controlled by this emotion you can be consumed by negative thought and not have motivation to do anything.
My error is not meditating everyday like I’m supposed to. It must be a priority now more than ever since I must climb back up to the ladder. Time for change.
Day 0
:facepunch::muscle::fire::fire:

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Day 2. Keeping getting busy no matter what.
Ive been just working mostly and did some exercise and improving my immune system to the highest it can go.

Day 0
I was being proactive and keeping myself busy. Did some exercise as well. I relapsed because i was living off of physical but not in spirit.
Day 1
Today. Woke up early. Having a nice breakfast now. Plan to work later, but other than that will try to create another income stream so that I can be recession proof. Trying to be positive everyday and realizing my gift I have in this life. Will become more self aware.
Glory to God. Amen. :fire::muscle::pray: