Day #5
Had a rough day. Calling it rough is a crime. It was awful. The study wasn’t on point.
I’ve been feeling shit lately and ive been trying to figuring out what it is. Life’s feeling out of control. But not in a bad way. I am indeed waking up and studying. Except for today cuz I had a horrible headache when I woke up. Its funny, because I don’t drink
But its the usual shit. Life’s kinda feels empty, but its gonna be fine.
Achievements today
- Nofap -
- No junk - :
- Wake up early - :
- Restrict to 2 cups of Tea -
- Minimal Breaks -
Study log -
- 24 th September - 8.5 hours
- 25 th September - Day off
- 26th September - 8.5 hours
- 27th September - 6 hours
- 28th September - 3 Hours
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Day #6
Im bored to write anything today, but hey… Didn’t fap
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Day #8
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8 days has been my highest since June of 2022. Ive been trying to figure out what changed and what was the reason for the downfall
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Its pretty difficult to know because I have everything right now I could ask for. I Have a girl that cares for me, I have a good environment where I could be productive, I have basically everything in place. But as. It turns out, its basically the over confidence that got me. “Oh 90 days? that’s easy”. NOT a great attitude to have when you are on Nofap
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There were certain things that have got me worried. Things that made me realize that im not being myself. For a very long time, I saw porn and masturbation as two seperate things. But for the last few months, the lines blurred and porn felt more engaging than fapping itself (disgusting I know)
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Experienced every bad effect that porn could have. I had low self confidence again. I started looking at women differently (not in a creepy way though). I felt ashamed. I have a smart, beautiful girl who wants nothing less than the best for me. I had to do it for her most importantly. I opened up to her about it recently and she was proud that Trying again
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Its been a week but, the changes im seeing are mind blowing. I had immense sexual drive when I was with her the other day, slowly the seeing the women differently is changing and fuck!, the urges are down to minimum.
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The only thing remaining now is I ve to put the energy to good use
I wasn’t well today so that’s that. Back to it tomorrow
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Living in Denial
So A while ago, I was feeling this uneasiness in my body. An itch that wouldnt go away. So I decided to scratch it again.
There was this girl I was crazy over in my college. Back then she was fucked up. I was too. I was good to her. I fell for her. But once she migrated abroad she kinda left everything and was like “I was stupid back then, my feelings are changed now”
I was like, “no”. Hows that possible. That can’t happen. I was living in denial that she wouldn’t mean it. Even though I’m with the love of my life right now, there are always questions to why did she do it then.
I asked her today. She was very casual about it. Then I realized one thing. Don’t be ashamed about admitting what you felt for someone, even when the other person has totally forgotten. Its about being happy with your decisions, your feelings
I wanted a tinge of kindness from her. That it did mean something to her. But no. I was a scapegoat.
Anyway I got the same “you deserve better” shit to which I replied. I do. I definitely do. I don’t deserve a shitty person like you. But wait. I already am with a beautiful intelligent person. And then it hit me. I won. I won because I didn’t let that shit affect me. I didn’t let her ignorance and cold heartedness affect me.
I am glad about all the beautiful things I have in my life as opposed to shitty things and people that didn’t add an ounce of beauty to your life.
Hence, boys, do not live in denial. Liberate yourself. Accept some people are here to shit on your life. But you rise above it and conquer it
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Maturity comes with experience and not from age
Alot of us are man-childs. The very fact that we cannot give up on our desire to watch p*** and fap is the ultimate evidence of that
But lately it’s been great for me. Began gumming again, waking up early and studying without wasting much time.
I manage to take power naps now instead of long hours. My youtube consumption has gone down too.
The greatest change though I feel is in the feelings I feel.
A while ago my girlfriend was disgusted that I watch porn. She was like ,why do I feel the need of watching that crap. So that’s where the man child in man got to thinking. “huh…?”. She’s got a point though .
So My gf and I, have been in each other’s company for a long time. But the libido that I have now is organic and natural. It’s not that one which comes by watching p*** and fapping. And boy it is amazing.
Also the good thing is ,that feeling is only reserved when I’m with her. Which is kind of amazing.
I am back
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One week since I got back to gym and boy I feel good
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When I went back to Diwali last month ,I couldn’t believe when I saw my pictures. I was fat. Like literally in the fat territory. My wildest nightmare had come true.
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After a month , listening to all the bullshit that people gave me, all the judgemental looks one gets when they are out of shape was bothering me. Because I’m known to be in shape most of the times in my circle
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The feeling was knew ,but i didn’t like it. So decided a week back to deal with it. 71 kg when I started.
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Cut my rice intake totally, restricted myself to eating just chapati with boiled eggs. No sugar ,except lemon tea twice. Breakfast either includes veggies or nothing.
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first two days were horrible as I was used to eating alot. But now it’s fine and i feel fool just after eating two chapatis and 4 boiled eggs.
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One week update : Weight is around 70.2 kg
Already back in shape with lowered belly and visible biceps, chest, triceps and legs
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Better skin, better sleep and less mood swings .
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nofap is going good too with 57 day streak as of now
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Ok, then you are in similar condition as me 
, Muuscular but fat is also there, and BMI more than 25.
If I don’t take care of my eating and working out my tummy becomes visible
Yep that’s exactly right. Even though I didn’t lose alot of weight (just 0.5 kg), i no longer look fat
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Yeah that’s what happens when you start maintaining exercising and diet, similar situation here. My tummy looked a little big in diwali pics so I controlled for a few days and it went in
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