Last year has been a disaster for me. My story is weird AF. I was in an abusive relationship. I fell in love with my senior while in relationship (Its cheating, but fuck it was complicated). Long story short, the senior which she explicitly said loved me back texted “Dont text me, Ive moved on”. And girl who I was in relationship also left. So you’r boi was left on crossroad. So why I chose NOFAP for 2021??
- No one gives a fuck whether you stay or not. Everyone leaves at some point. Better take care of your own self. Nofap is my self care
- I never simp. But started to when I began fapping, Which is horrible. TRUST ME.
- Fapping is disgusting. Its disgusting to tell someone you are addicted to this. But if i give up I can proudly say i defeated this dirty habit
Changes Ive noticed
- I socialize better now
- No simping anymore.
- Self control and discipline
- Inculcated better habits (Sippin water, meditation etc)
- Ofcourse no urge to see at porn
So guys, fap is bad, porn is bad
Ask yourself - “How fuckin strong am I?”
Heres to defeating this mf addiction
My journey from suffering two heartbreaks in 2020 to turning my life around 180° in 2021
2019 and 2020 were the hardest years of my life for plenty of reasons. I had friends for name sake and was in an abusive relationship. I used to think of ending my life. But in the midst of all that, I met a senior of mine. She and I had alot in common. She started liking and eventually fell for me even while I was in relationship. So fast forward, I couldn’t break up with my then girlfriend due to her possessiveness and basically I was scared she’d do something stupid.
So I told my senior that me and her will not be a thing. But I did fall for her. After we broke contact (Dec 2019), the whole of Jan (2020) and months after that were a mess. I was depressed, sad all the time. Then corona hit the world and it was it. The final nail to the coffin. But by end of 2020 my gf left, and also my senior who was sick of waiting for me said she moved on. So I dealt with two blows at once
So what next?
- Realization hit that people stay as long they are meant to, you are your own support
- working on yourself and being emotionally strong and independent must be the goal
- Masturbation was my getaway whenever I was sad or lonely, So I decided I will win this first to change my life
Dec 29, 2020, 3:52 pm
I had just fapped in the afternoon and realized what a mf shit I am. Out of nowhere I decided It was time to put everything aside and go for Hardmode nofap. Decision had been made. I had to act, one day at a time
Present day- Jan 29, 2021,1:42 pm
I feel great. I will complete 31 days of nofap in 3 hours. I am proud. I did this. I took control of my life.
There are many things I Changed like
- Reducing my smartphone use
- Started reading again
- Started meditation
- Drinking 3 bottles of water
- Skin and Haircare
- Gave up biting nails
- Eating Healthy
- Sleeping healthy
- Study minimum of 4+ hours a day
- Being grateful to bad times and seeing my loneliness as an opportunity to explore my bright side
So this is me. I know its not a struggle technically, but everyone has their own battles that they gotta fight and im proud I chose to fight my own self and im gonna defeat the old me and rise from its ashes like the Phoenix
31 days of Nofap
Next goal is 60:fire:
Brother, you are really inspired me. Good luck, you are in the correct way.
Feb 3, 2021
Progress, Not perfection
I didn’t expect this year would be any different from last one, but things are taking a turn for better and I can see it everyday. I have been PMO free for 5 weeks and I feel no urges. Even when I do, now I am strong enough to brush them away (Not today I say)
Finally I think my dopamine receptivity is returning to normal as little things like Music, talking to people in the Gym, striking out tasks for the day give me boost. This community has played a great part in helping me study, wake up and ofcourse quit PMO
So as to my emotional state, I did have weird dream last night. I saw my first crush from college and I was baffled at this realisation that I even remember her. Anyway I woke up lightheaded, but I did wake up!!! on time!! Saved by the bell. But i don’t miss my ex or girl I had loved anymore. Guess Im handling my feelings just better now.
My mantra has been to regulate and not ban/cut out totally anything (Except PMO- you are out, period) like social media, YouTube or even this forum. Lol and it worked. i use YouTube only when I eat my lunch and dinner.
Im studying well, gymming hard, eating right, sleeping okay. I don’t feel alone. This community is like a friend’s circle for me. So fuck it:rofl:. Credit to this community to that
Im not gonna say I wanna hit 1000 days. But I also don’t wanna say I will relapse. My strategy is simple To take 1 week at a time. Kill PMO bit by bit
So that’s all. Peace out. Love yourself but don’t touch yourself lol
Feb 4, 2021
Past is gone, be happy with what You have and welcome the opportunities of the future
Today was a great for one reason. I woke up at 5:30am. I was tired. But instead of dozing back to sleep. I woke my ass up and boy I made a great choice. I put in 5 hours as I slept in the afternoon to fix up my tiredness. Not guilty of it as I did study 5 hours which is fine.
Had a good gym session. It was an ok day. I feel more stable and comfortable in my skin. I look great, feel great. 37 days of nofap and honestly Ive realized Its easier for me to not have urges and fap bcuz I wasn’t really addicted. It was just a bad habit that had too be broken some day. Glad I broke it soon.
I had good ride with my mate to the photocopy store to get my notes printed. So i no longer have to stare at my computer screen any longer so thats great.
So thats that
Good night and keep slayin’
Feb 9, 2021
Little Wins, One at a time
I woke up tired today. I had two choices. Either go back to sleep or push through study. I woke my ass up and grinded to put in 5 hours of study and yep. Did the right choice. 1 hour of extra sleep could’ve cost me 2 hours of study( since it gets boring as afternoon comes by)
I have started strict diet. Measuring each gram of food and calorie I eat. So my journey of mindful eating begins (6 packs coming soon )
Yesterday was quite emotional, as I talked with this girl who says her parents arent approving of her partner. I could feel her expressions. That pain, just like I had few months ago. So why this story?. Ive realized my goal requires ruthless self discipline and sacrifice. The pain I endured was worth it. I thank those bad experience and wishful of the future. Pain would distract me. (Ps: I wish her the best)
Guess My flatline period is over and urges are making their way back slightly. But its not a biggie. I can handle em. Also I dont like losing. Not when so many eyes on me. If I give in to my urges, im no better than an animal in heat
Be so good, they cant ignore you
But for that gotta work my ass off. I will.
Feb 10, 2021
Happiness comes in waves, It’ll find me again
Thats a quote im greeted with , everytime I come to my home city, that is Belagavi, Karnataka. I now understand the value of that quote.
So I took a ride back home to drop my dio and pick up my 100cc bike. Yes, Because of rising fuel prices (90 ₹/litre at my place!!!)
I had a good afternoon nap, woke up and was able to put in 2 hours of study. I am happy. I am content as usually I waste my time at home. So this was a change
In the afternoon I almost had a wet dream, weird thing was I controlled it and I wish I had gone through it. To me biggest vice is masturbation and wet dream would’ve just eased my sexual tension. Well shit, not today
Im hoping I’ll meet my friends tomorrow, which will be a breather from my monotonous life of study, gym, sleep repeat. Bois and gals, plz socialize even if you are an introvert. We are called social beings for a reason. Being introvert is made “Cool” these days. Even im an introvert (almost). Skill of communication is one of which is very attractive and must have to everyone.
Lastly, im planning on taking a walk tomorrow morning. Lets see how that goes
Very good, brother. How much 90 rupees in USD?
Just a tad above a dollar… 1$ = 70 rupees roughly
Feb 13, 2021
Self love before everything
- My day was not that productive. But I needed this break and Il resume from Monday. Tom im gonna try to finish the book I was studying
- Tom Im thinking of buying a journal to start journaling.
- My goal is to write down things I wanna do, don’t wanna do, what steps I did take during the day to get closer to my goal
- Starting is the hardest part. So tom im gonna write down certain little things I absolutely have to inculcate, like doing things right away
- Its Valentines day tom. Last year This time I had a gf. But I wasn’t at peace. Right now im single and I realize its better to be alone than be with people who bring out the worst in you
- Forget the past and embrace the future and hustle and never stop working
You got this, Legend in the making
Feb 14, 2021
Tunnel Vision is useful sometimes
- I had a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary today. Woke up late, went out with buddy in the afternoon for a lunch and that was that.
- Evening I went out to meet him again and it was honestly a good talk I had with him. Might sound gay to some that I spent my day with my buddy. But the fuck should I care right?
- We talked alot of stuff. I told him about my first love, my latest break up and he kinda did the same.
- So why am I spitting all this out? I kinda realized something. The more you focus on things that make you better. The more the world notices. The more you resist temptations, more you get what you want out of your life. Thats what I inferred from what my bud was talking.
- After listening to my buddies’ stories (Who doesn’t give a flying fuck to girls, addresses every girl as sister apparently, Holy fuck!) I realized dude is a fucking legend. Dude is chubby as fuck (I can call him that, hes my bud, not fat shaming lol) but he did manage to get girls attention. Serious fucking attention
- So this got me thinking and also I understood why people successful with nofap do well in relationships. In nofap you are basically resisting temptations. Thats why girls adore you. Well almost.
So I made a tough decision.
- I decided along with nofap, Im gonna stop talking to girls. Why? Its just bad luck to me I guess. I fall in love easily and its not easy always. I get hurt, they get hurt and thousand other things.
- Im an atheist but Im a believer in destiny. I leave to the universe my love life. Im gonna solely focus on my goal and nothing else. No more talking to girls. No more looking at girls. Tunnelvision
- Study 7 hours everyday
- Don’t talk to girls anymore( Don’t look also)
- Don’t use phone first thing in the morning
- Wake Up early
- Don’t open Instagram upto 5 pm
Gonna update tomorrow
First day to being a motherfuckin legend
Old Habits die hard, but gotta struggle for the Change
- Don’t use phone after waking up
- Wake up early
- Study 7 hours (6.5 hours)
- No insta before 5 pm
- Nofap 48/90
- I had a good day. It was productive.
- Hit my 100+ gram protein diet goal for the first time and it feels damn good.
- Workout was impressive too. Had a good bicep and tricep pump after a long time.
- I feel at peace these days. Today was good. I didn’t have any person texting or calling me which is nice. Im learning to live on my own and the feeling of someone being there always is almost down to zero
- Success in life is a sum of little habits that we form. So slowly im gonna try driving out each bad habit of mine. Right im gonna focus on dialling down my phone usage
- As everyday passes by, im understanding the importance of not having expectations and I think im doing better and sticking to not expecting things from people.
- Objective for tomorrow: Own the day, Don’t let the day own you
Greatest battles are fought alone
- Don’t use phone after waking up (2/7)
- Wake up early (2/7)
- Study 7 hours (6 hours) (0/7)
- No insta before 5 pm (2/7)
- Nofap 49/90
- Abs Challenge (2/7)
- Woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Felt tired and down for some reason.
- Early in the morning Google duo notification comes up and I started missing her. The video call ringtone started ringing in my head . Guess its hard to get some people out of your head.
- I had a good day. Studied for 6 hours and did my chores.
- It was weird day at the gym. I felt down. I had a great workout. But in midst of the crowd too I felt low for some reason. I missed her.
- Love is a funny thing. People leave, but Memories bring back memories bring back you
- Im holding up pretty good. Another day where its just “No one gives a fuck. Get up and hustle alone” and I can’t ask anything better. These hard times will make a beast one day.
Song Stuck in my head today: Rather be by Clean Bandit
Do it for the people who care about you
- Don’t use phone after waking up (3/7)
- Wake up early : (0/7)
- Study 7 hours (5.5 hours) (0/7)
- No insta before 5 pm (3/7)
- Nofap 50/90
- Abs Challenge (3/7)
- I feel like shit today. Fucking nostalgia hitting me like baseball bat in my face.
- Maybe this is flatline and thats why im feeling down. Hoping this goes away
- My buddy had gone to college today and to his surprise, he couldn’t clear one subject, so now he has to go back to our godforsaken college a day a week until he clears the exam. Honestly I felt bad.
- I felt more bad for one reason. He gets to go to college. I don’t knw which is fuckin weird. But I wanted to go because I crave what I felt back in college. I had everything. Had a gf, friends (not technically, acquaintances maybe), had no responsibilities.
- But life doesn’t work like that. Shit moves on and I need to move on and own my life
- So fuck pitying myself. Im gonna work on me. Keep working on me. Till I reach my goal. For mum and dad, I gotta put my shit aside and make them proud
To making my mum and dad Proud
Great Journal buddy… Reading your top 2 posts realised myself how MF weird fantacies I thought in past.
But I will read your Story not in 1 go because if I read in 1 time I just got 1 time motivation. I read it daily Post by post currently on your post 3
Greatful to you for accompanying me In NF. My history is very Bad because of porn addiction, I literally destroyed my studies and messed my natural Dopamine balance .
Trying to get back my life day by day.
Bro My life was full of Rant and whining due to this addiction
2020 was the Year of P*** for me . I saw lot of bad vids
But Good thing is I’ve realised it and get my Life back on track
BTW what is your age bro?