RS
The Indian Rupee?
Are you from India?
I just checked the exchange rate. Your 1200 rs is compared to $14.51 USD. I spend more than that daily.
In comparison my $38,900 Debt is equal to 3,216,359 rs.
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Today is June 1st. Welcome to summer. Hot and sunny at 90 degrees Fahrenheit.
Streak is 1 day complete. I was hoping @DARSHAN2017 was going to reply to last post.
Ok. Well, I have today off and tomorrow off too. Great time to work on myself.
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I know the amount is huge
But me paying 12 $ is a big deal because
I donot earn and hardly i get 2 to 3 dollar a month for my expense
So i save from it and pay
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Glad to see you are doing your best. I’m sorry that you only get paid that much.
You must think I’m a rich guy compared to your situation. My heart goes out to you @DARSHAN2017.
It doesnt matter rich or poor because this rarely bothers me
Im not poor
I get my needs met
Now im working on making life better 
So no need to be sorry
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Alright then. Thats awesome. You have an amazing attitude. Keep going strong.
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Monday
June 5th
Relapsed.
Instead of crying, instead of trying, instead of complaining, instead of planning, I am accepting.
I am accepting that this cannot be done alone. Since I am alone, there is no escape. I am accepting now that PMO is part of my life every 2nd day.
Healing opportunities are out of reach and the title of this thread might change from success to accepting failure as reality.
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What will acceptance bring? My roommate said the same to me, that he has accepted the addiction. He used the word ‘embrace’. He said he couldn’t bear the guilt and so on.
I, on the other hand, kept failing. Kept facing pain in my testicles, in my heart, in my knees, my synovial fluid almost dried up and my knees began to feel wobbly. Even I thought on some days, let us just give up. Let us just accept. But the problem is, acceptance doesn’t bring solace.
My roommate is so weak in determination, so weak in everything, so useless, so dumb and so selfish, that I believe if acceptance of PMO could make life better, he would have had a better life. He literally failed in some subjects while I am the gold medalist in my batch.
Failing in attempts to gain freedom is not bad, not attempting to get free, accepting your defeat is bad. It neither brings solace, peace and happiness, nor does it stop harming you. You might not feel the damage being done to you, you might just refuse to see it, but it will only be for a short while. Things will begin to fall apart in your life and you will see the repercussions of this addiction in every niche of your life. But since you refused to stand against it, since you refused to acknowledge the real cause, you will continue to feel baffled by what is going wrong. You will blame society, curse your life and scream at destiny but it will not aid you.
I am not a huge success as of yet. But I was a big loser in the past in terms of relapses. My journal resonates with phrases like, ‘Sick of life! Sick of myself!’ I despised myself so much. But I never let the thought of giving up get the better of me. I got out searching for resources. I got this book EasyPeasy and I read it as if it was my key to get out of this prison. I have never submitted before any author but I submitted all my intellectual load in front of that book and took every word and injected my body with its meaning. I went for 61 days after it for the first time. Slipped then. Got up again. Called that a slip, not a relapse. Because I knew I am that old guy no more. What I do on 300 days defines me and not what I do on 65 days. I went again for 16 days. Slipped again. Got up again. Called myself stupid and gently punched myself on the head. For me it was no longer a catastrophe because I knew with every passing weak the power of addiction over my mind and body is decreasing. Since then, until now, I have been going as flawless as ever. Recently, same kind of sexual thoughts have started to appear in my mind as they used to appear when I was 13. Videos, clips, phone, no longer appear together with my sexual fantasies. I know even those should not be entertained but I am not infallible and do sometimes get washed away in a parallel universe of desire. However, I know that thoughts will come, even until just before my death. It doesn’t mean that I must act on it. I can let thoughts be thoughts. Yeah it makes my muscles tense. Distracts me, but I gently pull my brain back to work, smiling at its childish stupidity of thinking that a very marginal phenomenon should end up being the centre of attention all day long.
So man, I end my dramatic monologue here. Pull yourself together. Do some reading. Listen to videos. Begin with micro streaks. Pass 5 days solidly and get back on track.
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I reached 4 days but relapsed to MO.
No P()rn was involved.
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Had Full PMO. But its been a week since I looked at ■■■■. And I tell you what, a week without it made the session very enjoyable and long lasting.
No premature ejaculation this time. I must have lasted almost a half an hour.
I am satisfied with my progress this far. I struggled for 2 hours before relapsing. I had short urges that were the toughest I have ever felt. It was a weird experience.
I am looking forward to lasting another week. I see why 1 week relapses are a struggle for many. But knowing i can avoid p for a whole week is great.
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Status
2 days ■■■■ free
Relapse was MO
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4 days P()rn free.
2 days MO free
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Starting over.
Back to zero streak.
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You did great bro, next time a week of streak 
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Congratulations for completing 2 days no Mo and 4 days no P.
Now do more than 4 each 
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@Binocular and @Purity11
Thank you guys for the support. I am trying to stay positive and making that longer version a goal.
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I relapsed 2 times since my last post.
Streaks were 2 days 20 hours and 1 day 13 hours.
I am not giving up even though this looks depressing.
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Right now im at 2 days
But i want to share a strange dream.
In the dream i went to my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I saw small budding flowers growing out of my chest. It was strange.
I researched on the internet what this means an supposedly because they were on my chest it means that I am growing as a person and a positive result is coming soon.
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Reached 3 days.
Relapsed.
Starting again.
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